FreeFaller Posted June 12, 2016 Posted June 12, 2016 Evening all, I need some advise please. I will keep this short as possible although I pre warn you that it may be lengthy. My boyfriend/ex have been together for over 2 years now, we have had special and amazing times together, but it has consistently been full of arguments. After two months of being together, everything was amazing and we declared our love for each other, hell we moved in with each other within the space of a month. Now on reflection, we should have left it at least six months before living with each other. Hindsight eh. So then we got bored and decided to travel and work. Just so you should know, he is from the Czech republic and I am from England, quite a big cultural and language difference. This has contributed to a few of our arguments, although the main bit of it is we just can't agree on certain things. Constant arguments about his dog, small things, the way he just says what he thinks without thinking about its effects, and pretty much likes to hurt my feelings when we fight. We both say horrible things because we are both hurting, he finds it hard to talk about serious things and is still very childish, in the commitment manner of things. The arguments sometimes have been upto a week of silence as a form of punishment, and to also get some space away from each other. I suggested that we live apart before, so we tried that, and then we moved back in with each other after three months. It started to be okay for a while and we finally seemed like we were going to sort out our differences. That was not the case, his dog created so many arguments, it is a possessive and jealous dog, that needs to have attention given to him at all times. He gets erm...let's say excrement all over the house and it's horrible. My ex said he would never get his castrated..so he just leaves it how it is and the situation for me gets worse and worse. I love dogs, I even have my own dog, which i must add his dog is an extremely horny pervert and when left alone with my female dog, he pretty much dominates her into submission, it's horrible. So my ex defends his dog and I defend mine, and then the arguements start getting worse and worse. I won't go on too much more about it but you get my drift, basically two years of that and I have had enough. So for the last month we have been arguing and there have been more silences, I find it hard to show my emotions when I feel like I am being criticised and blamed for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship. I have had enough, I tried to move out a few months ago but he asked me to stay, so I stayed but he never wanted to come to a solution or actually listen to the reasons why i felt like i did. So now it has got to this point where we live together and I am trying to find somewhere else to live, which is not easy as summer season is approaching. I want to be out of there and part of me is accepting it over, but I still love him and I will miss him if we part like this. I am now 30 years old, I have a good job and I have some money in the bank, but I want to know the man I am with will not treat me like this. I wanted a future with him before, but now I don't see any with him because he has made it clear he cannot commit to anything, and I eventually want to have kids at some point in the next three to five years. I think I know most of you will say to let it be and end it, but there must someone out there who has been in this situation and they have come out better at the end of it. Have any of you been in a situation like this before? And if yes, what did you do? Thanks
bummer Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 I'll get the walk away train rolling. If you read your own post there is little positive (anything?) said about this man. As an anecdote, if he chooses his dog and having his dog's "love" all over the house he is trying to assert his dominion over you on an issue which frankly sounds gross to an outsider. You are not his equal in his eyes. Move on to someone who's into you and basic lifestyle compromises and whom you really can start a family with. 1
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