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Posted

*Met a girl online

 

*First Date - Mutual attraction, wanted to see her again, hugged at end of night.

 

*Talked on phone for about an hour in between dates.

 

*Second Date - Obvious touching during date, felt really good, holding hands walking back to car. Went back to her place and hung out for about an hour where making out/cuddling commenced.

 

Holding her and cuddling with her felt really really good and I didn't want to leave. But for some reason I didn't get that additional spark or tingle when kissing. When touching/cuddling with her, i was getting "excited" if you catch my drift.

 

Is the spark thing a red flag, or am I setting expectations too high?

Posted

Holding her and cuddling with her felt really really good and I didn't want to leave. But for some reason I didn't get that additional spark or tingle when kissing. When touching/cuddling with her, i was getting "excited" if you catch my drift.

 

Is the spark thing a red flag, or am I setting expectations too high?

so just to make sure it's clear, holding and cuddling her turned you on but when it came to kissing, that feeling went away? Or just didn't increase in a way you thought it should have?

Posted

Dude its the second date - are you expecting fireworks to go off overhead and trumpets to sound when you kiss ? Stop over analyzing, chill out and go another date.

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Posted

Maybe I'm different but I thought a spark was only something women felt. I know if I'm attracted to her I'll get a hard on while kissing her lol.

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Posted
so just to make sure it's clear, holding and cuddling her turned you on but when it came to kissing, that feeling went away? Or just didn't increase in a way you thought it should have?

 

Correct, it didn't increase. I thought it would be different with her than prior women.

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Posted
Maybe I'm different but I thought a spark was only something women felt. I know if I'm attracted to her I'll get a hard on while kissing her lol.

 

That's what I'm starting to wonder. Do men just have a different excitement meter. I've never felt that "spark", it's always just felt like lips touching.

Posted
Correct, it didn't increase. I thought it would be different with her than prior women.

 

Why? I think sometimes the pressure of "expectation" that it should be different dampens the excitement/feeling. Just relax and go out again... You obviously have a "spark" with her... Don't be too quick to make a decision. Just give the feeling some time to develop.

Posted
That's what I'm starting to wonder. Do men just have a different excitement meter. I've never felt that "spark", it's always just felt like lips touching.

 

One word: tongue

 

Peck on the lips doesn't do it for me either & I'm female :) Get more of your mouth involved and let the fireworks begin :D:D:D

Posted
Correct, it didn't increase. I thought it would be different with her than prior women.

Maybe you want to start a thread in the sexual practices section on how attraction works for you. It can be more freely discussed over there and people are pretty open minded - as you can tell by the threads.

Posted

I'm a guy and for me I get the spark when i'm with girlfriend type material. Even on the first date i'll get very excited and pretty much walk around with a hard on :lmao:. For me none of those things happen when i'm with a one night stand.

Posted

Enjoy it. Don't think about it. Feel it.

Posted

I'm confused. Are YOU saying you NEED the spark?

Posted

eh, I think I get what he's talking about.

 

The very first time I kissed my long term ex, it was like fireworks going off in my head.

 

I literary fell out of the car when it was time to go, I felt completely punch drunk.

 

There are kisses that can *floor* you. Sadly, I have yet to experience that kind of passion with any of my partners since...

 

So I'm not sure if it was an age thing, or really just a super unique chemistry I had with them.

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