JB_Stuart Posted June 12, 2016 Posted June 12, 2016 Hi everyone, (sorry for my English, not my birth language) About a year ago I started dating this girl and well... she somehow managed to break up with me three times in two months... The last breakup was on my birthday. I stopped talking to her and blocked her on every kind of social network in order to get over her asap. In the meantime I started having problems in school and at home which over time got bad enough for me to start visiting psychologist weekly and soon also psychiatrist monthly. After about three months I fell in love with another girl and my emotions for her slowly became way stronger than everything I ever felt before. I think I truly loved someone for the first time in my life. Meanwhile I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder. I was permanently worried I'm doing something wrong, I was trying to be the best boyfriend I could but no matter what I did, it always seemed like I just made everything worse.... I was put on antidepressants (Zoloft and Atarax) and soon after that our first breakup happened. I was supposed to meet with her after school but she just texted that she doesn't wanna meet today and later explained that she's breaking up with me. If my depression wasn't bad enough yet, now it completely paralyzed me, I couldn't even find the strenght to get out of bed in the morning, I stopped going to school, all I did for about a week was literally just breathing and sleeping. My best friend drove for 5 hours to spend a weekend with me and make me feel better, I was really thankful for that but things didn't seem like getting better anytime soon. Then I made a crazy decision and texted my ex (the one mentioned earlier). I told her everything and for some reason she really took care of me until I was capable of normal life and after that we realized we work really good as friends so we continued talking and sometimes hanging out together. Soon after that I got back together with my girlfriend and everything seemed good as never before... She broke up with me again after a month or so It kicked me down again, but only for like few hours - Zoloft finally kicked in and I started feeling somehow okay, I found a job, new school so I could continue studying and stayed friends with my previous ex I mentioned in the beginning, depression and anxiety slowly faded away and I was feeling better than ever. The problem here is that this friend of mine which I used to date, is best friends with my current ex which I'm still trying to get over. She doesn't speak about her in front of me, but sometimes when I call her, they're together somewhere which always causes me immediate anxiety attack and soon enough also depression. I'm way stronger than I used to be but I still can't seem to handle even when someone mentions my ex in front of me, I'm trying to not care but the truth is I do care. I still care and the only reason I'm somehow keeping myself calm and functional is that I succesfully pretend that she doesn't even exist, I'm trying to convince my stupid brain that she's not part of my life anymore which is working, but somehow really hard because as I mentioned before, she's best friends with my good friend... I guess I don't mind them hanging out and being good friends, I guess I'm more worried that I'm gonna lose my current good friend because of something my ex says or does.
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