clipper Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 My GF and I get along great and really love each other. There is one peculiarity in our relationship though. About 10% of the time after she orgasms she breaks down and starts crying. She always says nothing is wrong, and that she doesn't know why she is crying. It makes me wonder if there is something deeper that I'm not picking up on though. Any thoughts?
lindya Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Sex can release all sorts of pent up emotions and tensions, and the afterglow can be a vulnerable time. I'd say the best response is just to cuddle her and not say anything.
reservoirdog1 Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 This won't be what you want to hear, but that happened to my with my ex-wife, once. On our wedding night. I spent years thinking it was just because of the pent-up emotion of the day. Turned out it was because she knew she'd just made a huge mistake. There may be something really serious on your GF's mind. Or maybe sex has some painful past associations for her that she hasn't felt comfortable telling you about? Or maybe there's a physiological reason -- maybe the ladies have some insight.
alphamale Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 an orgasm is a very emotional experience for a female. for men it is more a "feel good" release. usually when a woman has an orgasm with a dude she correlates it with love....yeah, I know, I know, WTF!!
nicki Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Could be that she lets her guard down so low that she is shedding some old uncried tears about something that hurt her a long time ago....or...more likely, She could just feel so close to you and happy that it makes her cry. I've done that. When it happened, I felt a bit embarrassed by my reaction. I had a boyfriend who used to laugh after orgasm. I didn't know what to think the first time it happened. He explained that he didn't find anything funny, he just couldn't help it -- like a sneeze...so, i used to stroke his back while he laughed. Then, when he was done, i would look into his eyes and smile at him...and then we usually laughed for real...wow, i miss him right about now... Anyway, no biggie. Just give her a hug, kiss her, look in her eyes. Let her know that you really see her and love her....
centered Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale an orgasm is a very emotional experience for a female. for men it is more a "feel good" release. usually when a woman has an orgasm with a dude she correlates it with love....yeah, I know, I know, WTF!! Maybe not *all* women, and there can be lots of reasons, but I think AlphaMale may be on the right track. (Geez, Alpha! You really *know* chicks, don't you?) I have cried from extreme happiness on occasion. And, yes, I have cried -- twice in my lifetime -- during an orgasm with the one I'm with. Both times I cried, it was because I had the overwhelming warmth of feeling that I want to have this man's baby and be with him forever. Of course, I had the sense not to *say* anything at the time. And I had time to reflect on those feelings and sort out the feelings of love and plain old good sex. But you know what? It *was* love both times. I had already fallen in love in all other aspects, and the good sex just sealed it. To be filled by the man you love, to want to conceive and bring forth a life from the joining of our two bodies.... Powerful stuff. This last time, when I didn't say anything, he looked into my eyes and said," Wow. You've got it pretty bad, don't you." I just nodded my head. He knew. And he was feeling it, too. But here's the thing: both times were *before* the L word came up. It was pent up feeling wanting to come out, and the orgasm, and strong feelings of wanting to conceive, was the release. For women, "Love" means a whole lot of complex things all bundled together. And when it all clicks, it's pretty heady stuff.
lindya Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale an orgasm is a very emotional experience for a female. for men it is more a "feel good" release. usually when a woman has an orgasm with a dude she correlates it with love....yeah, I know, I know, WTF!! WTF? WTF is wrong with loving the person you have sex with?
centered Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by lindya WTF? WTF is wrong with loving the person you have sex with? Seems obvious, doesn't it? One of the very first guys I was ever with had this somewhat startled look right in the middle of having sex. (I won't say "making love" for this guy.) The lightbulb went on for him: "Oh. I just figured something out. It seems like the whole purpose of having sex is to try to make a baby. I mean, that's kind of what we're doing, isn't it?" He mistook my laughter for pelvic contractions.... Even when we can't have babies -- we're on the pill, had a hysterectomy, or are too old -- there's that something magical about the joining of two bodies. And, yes, love is often strongly woven through the whole experience. But for guys? One told me it's just scratching an itch for him. Now, at 41, I can admit to myself that sometimes that's all it is for me, too. But even when I just really crave sex, I'm always hoping for more.... The more is Love.
alphamale Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 Originally posted by centered Maybe not *all* women, and there can be lots of reasons, but I think AlphaMale may be on the right track. (Geez, Alpha! You really *know* chicks, don't you?) I like to think I know chicks but no man really does. I may now MORE than the avg man but that is still diddly squat. To be filled by the man you love, I like that...very submissive and sexy.
alphamale Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 Originally posted by lindya WTF? WTF is wrong with loving the person you have sex with? actualyy that comment was directed more at the dudes out there. cause we can easily have sex without love. it is harder for us to understand cause we can seperate the two and women usually don't.
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I like to think I know chicks but no man really does. I may now MORE than the avg man but that is still diddly squat. True. Just like us women don't really "get" men. I think it's supposed to be that way...Frustrating at times, but well worth it! For me, it's just pure emotion. I don't cry, but I do get flooded with emotions and I feel closer to my husband.
lindya Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale actualyy that comment was directed more at the dudes out there. cause we can easily have sex without love. Credit me with some knowledge of how the world works, alpha For the record, I do know a few women who can quite easily have sex without love. Not very many, admittedly, but that probably says more about the friends I choose than anything else. Some are more selective about who they share this information with than others. All, I would say, are eminently more cautious about expressing this view in public than men are. Double standards still prevail, after all. I just think it's a sad state of affairs when the idea of anyone equating sex with love should be greeted with a derisive "WTF". As if people who choose to get intimate only with those they have strong emotional ties with are somehow stupid and naive.
moimeme Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 Lindya Alpha's just sticking to his schtick of 'highschool smartass'. Don't let it get to you.
dgiirl Posted June 26, 2005 Posted June 26, 2005 I've done it only once. I was sad because I felt connected to my (stbx)h and it was a really long time since that had happened. In hindsight, I really should have paid more attention and realized that we were drifting apart. Has she been doing this from day one, or just recently? Does she have a past with unresolved baggage?
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