TiffanyK Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 (edited) Hi everyone, I in 25 years old and I've been single for a while now so I'm totally a noob when it comes to dating. Around October of last year, I met a guy on OKCupid who's also a college student like me. We seemed to click really well and we dated for about 4 months but never became official. After a while, things seemed to be dragging on without a title and he confessed that while he enjoys spending time with me, he didn't feel a strong enough of a connection and decided to break up. He then insisted that we remain friends which I refused to at the time as I had feelings for him. We haven't maintained no-contact since the break-up and would occasionally text every once in a while (we both initiated) and it leads to meeting up in person a couple of times over the past 4 months post-breakup. No physical contact, just dinner or drink. While he's not dating anyone right now, he told me that he enjoys the friendship part of our relationship and wants to be my friend. Do you think it's feasible to be friends with someone I dated if we don't have the same social circle? Also, does it seem like he wants to be my friend or is he keeping me on the back burner in case things don't work out with another girl? Edited June 11, 2016 by TiffanyK
Grapesofwrath Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 I think it's feasible, with time. If you still have romantic feelings, then it's not really friendship for you. Don't concern yourself too much with what HE wants and think about what YOU want. Do you want him as a friend? Wouild it add to your life to have a friendship with him? Having different social circles can be great because it will broaden your network of friends. So ask yourself....when you are hanging out with him, is it fun for you? Do you enjoy him as a friend? If not, then don't have a friendship. His agenda is irrelevant. It's about what works for you. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 If you still have some feelings for him, a friendship isn't a good idea. I say this because it will sting when he starts dating someone else and tells you about it, thinking it's all good because you're only friends now.
sooshi Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Hi Tiffany, It does sound like he genuinely enjoys your company and does want to your friend. I can't speak for him, of course, but it does sound that way. Like Expat said, if you still have feelings for him, friendship probably isn't a good idea right now, as it might be hard for you when you know that he is dating others, etc. If you are okay with being friends with him now though, then you probably could build a pretty great friendship together. Most of all, like Grapesofwrath said, it's about what YOU want. What do you want?
smudge21 Posted June 12, 2016 Posted June 12, 2016 You truly need to be honest with yourself - do you have any feelings for him or any hope of something happening between you two. If so, then walk away. Even if it's only slight feelings, the more time you spend with him, the more you'll feed that hope, until he becomes an addiction you can't break easily. Just remember that being his "friend" means that one day you may hear about his new girlfriend.. can you handle that?
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