Actually got a tall woman interested

[MidwestUSA]

"Stalking" their profile? Really? First of all, there was no profile to be stalked.

 

 

I wasn't "obsessively" looking at their profile. Seriously, you must have a run-away imagination. lol

 

I was actually checking my inbox and noticed a "greyed out" profile picture, clicked on it and it was gone, however, our correspondence was still there.

 

Seriously, not sure what kind of conjuring you did in your head to twist this all around.

 

What on earth would possess you to communicate letting her know you knew her profile was gone? Can't you see that is weird?

 

You had her number, for all you know, she was counting on you to ask you out, but you assumed the worst. Many take a profile down if they have someone 'on the hook'. There was NO NEED to mention it at all. A man with confidence wouldn't have given a hoot that her profile was gone, he'd think 'but I have her number', and proceed as if nothing had changed.

 

And I don't think she fits the definition of catfish, but if it makes you feel better. You contacted her. That was your chance to ask her out, not put her on the spot about why her profile was down. She took the easy out. Self deprecation usually doesn't work with someone you've just met.

 

'The more I think about not being ready to date', sadly, means just not with you. It's a standard line.

 

Honestly, I think you need to take a break from this.

[MidwestUSA]

 

That's when I was going to ask her out.

 

But you didn't. You took the chance to say something really awkward instead.

 

Yes, that's shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Carry on.

[Art_Critic]

But you didn't. You took the chance to say something really awkward instead.

 

Yes, that's shooting yourself in the foot.

 

Carry on.

 

I'd agree.... I think you also shot yourself in the foot because it became more important to you to call her out rather than ask her out, getting the digits is 90% so you got past the hard part...

[MidwestUSA]

I'd agree.... I think you also shot yourself in the foot because it became more important to you to call her out rather than ask her out, getting the digits is 90% so you got past the hard part...

 

And so many people work SO hard to get those digits.

 

That's why, when I was doing it, I'd then set all else aside. Forgot the profiles (yep, often disabled mine). It was just a matter of focus on my part. It's too easy to get caught up wondering about the hows, whys and workings of others if you don't. And all over someone you don't even know.

[Imajerk17]

And so many people work SO hard to get those digits.

 

That's why, when I was doing it, I'd then set all else aside. Forgot the profiles (yep, often disabled mine). It was just a matter of focus on my part. It's too easy to get caught up wondering about the hows, whys and workings of others if you don't. And all over someone you don't even know.

 

Yep.

 

I am thinking to a lesson my dad told me: Know when to shut up! Don't talk your prospective customer out of the sale.

 

You seem like a decent guy and so I am rooting for you to have dating success, and I do kind of feel that you are being piled on here. But this is an issue that comes up in your threads a lot, so it is probably worth repeating. You consistently bring up things to your prospective dates that do not help your cause, such as how you noticed she backed out of a meetup or she lied about her age or whatever. Instead, realize that often the shrewdest thing you can do is to keep a thought to yourself.

 

If there is anything I hope you get from posting here, it is this lesson.

Edited June 12, 2016 by Imajerk17

[carnelian]

5:9" is not very tall for a woman, actually. One inch difference hardly matters or should not matter.

 

I am fairly short so I know that some women are very picky and I think shallow with the height of their dates. They are stuck on this old time notion that men are supposed to be taller by several inches. Height=masculinity to some of em. Silly, isn't it?

 

Once I asked on a forum why height was so important to them and not 1 woman could answer why. I thought maybe for sex or like that.

[MGX]

5:9" is not very tall for a woman, actually. One inch difference hardly matters or should not matter.

 

I am fairly short so I know that some women are very picky and I think shallow with the height of their dates. They are stuck on this old time notion that men are supposed to be taller by several inches. Height=masculinity to some of em. Silly, isn't it?

 

Once I asked on a forum why height was so important to them and not 1 woman could answer why. I thought maybe for sex or like that.

 

5'4" to 5'6" is the average. 5'8" is around the taller side.

 

I guess height does play a part in the whole tall, dark and handsome train of thought. Big and strong men.

[MGX]

Yep.

 

I am thinking to a lesson my dad told me: Know when to shut up! Don't talk your prospective customer out of the sale.

 

You seem like a decent guy and so I am rooting for you to have dating success, and I do kind of feel that you are being piled on here. But this is an issue that comes up in your threads a lot, so it is probably worth repeating. You consistently bring up things to your prospective dates that do not help your cause, such as how you noticed she backed out of a meetup or she lied about her age or whatever. Instead, realize that often the shrewdest thing you can do is to keep a thought to yourself.

 

If there is anything I hope you get from posting here, it is this lesson.

 

Maybe they have a point. It seemed like you had an "Ah ha! I caught you!" moment when you assumed that she was being shady towards you.

 

Never assume. As long as she was still rapping to you over the phone, you were good. Your persecution complex sabotaged yourself.

[kidm]

I resent reading that tall women look awkward. I am 5'7" and I am gorgeous! Size 8 shoes and lady sized hands with slender fingers. HWP.

 

I attract attention from men and women. A lot of women would kill to be my height.

 

A 5'7" is not considered that tall generally. Maybe slightly above average for a woman but I think most men wouldn't think you were not dateable because of height unless the guy is below average height for a guy.

Edited June 12, 2016 by kidm

[JuanDelToro]

An update:

 

I sent her a text asking her about this and asked in that text, jokingly, if she got tired of the weirdos contacting her, present company excluded, lol!"

 

And she said, "Yes, It's not the place for me and the more I think about dating, the more I realize I'm not ready for it. (What kind of line of crap is that, right? lol)

 

"I'll give you a buzz if you change your mind"

 

I almost said, "Don't bother." but instead said,

 

"Well, I wish you told me that when before you gave me your #, but okay :)"

 

She didn't respond to that one, which means she doesn't give a crap or don't expect to hear from her again..

 

Yet another catfish.

 

Here's what you did wrong. Your first message communicated insecurity with her. In a way you tried to convince her that you're not a weirdo. Also you are petting her ears as if she's somewhat special.

 

Women like teasing, banter, boldness. They're also very insecure, use that to your benefit and in a playful manner instigate doubt in them. Self sarcasm is also good if it's done properly.

 

This is the message I would have send her "I've noticed that you took down your profile? I understand that you're very excited to find me and that you don't have any interest in other man now, but I haven't made up my mind with you yet, you have to show me what you've got. Let's wrestle, winner gets to be on top, loser gets her butt spanked. Saturday at my place, I'll get ice ready."

 

With her second message she was "**** testing" you. A woman that **** tests you she's interested but wants to make sure that you make the cut. She gave you all the hints how to respond but obviously you failed the test and instead you communicated your butthurt feelings with aggression.

 

As a rule of thumb, try to have fun when communicating with women, stay grounded and don't let them get into your head.

Detach yourself from the outcome (that image in your head, where she's lying naked on your bed).

[Dark Horse]

The thing about tall women is that many of them are okay with dating guys that are a few inches shorter than them because if they only date guys that are taller, it might eliminate 50-75% of men.

 

It's the same with short guys. I'm a 5 ft 3 tall guy and even though I prefer women my height or shorter, I woudn't mind dating a girl that was a few inches taller.

[TooLegitToQuit]

This is the message I would have send her "I've noticed that you took down your profile? I understand that you're very excited to find me and that you don't have any interest in other man now, but I haven't made up my mind with you yet, you have to show me what you've got. Let's wrestle, winner gets to be on top, loser gets her butt spanked. Saturday at my place, I'll get ice ready."

 

 

Dafuq?

[ChickiePops]

5:9" is not very tall for a woman, actually. One inch difference hardly matters or should not matter.

 

I am fairly short so I know that some women are very picky and I think shallow with the height of their dates. They are stuck on this old time notion that men are supposed to be taller by several inches. Height=masculinity to some of em. Silly, isn't it?

 

Once I asked on a forum why height was so important to them and not 1 woman could answer why. I thought maybe for sex or like that.

 

I'm 5'9 (it's not massively tall but it is above average for a woman, and my growth spurt came early..before most of the boys in my middle school, so I spent a few of my formative years hunched over trying to look smaller) and I can answer this easily.

 

It's not about men's masculinity, it's about MY femininity. I like being smaller than my boyfriend. It makes me feel like a girl. Especially after those awkward middle school years..kids can be cruel. Obviously I don't get teased anymore, and I've grown to love being tall, but being teased as a kid leaves a lasting impression.

[Neil711]

Only in the sense like the op was thinking. I don't care at all, but usually if the girl is the same height or taller you're wasting your time. So I don't even bother trying with tall women. (I'm 5'9)

 

But you can often tell when the girl really cares about height.

They'll write something like "I'm ....ft tall and like to wear heels " I've seen that one a lot.

 

Interesting. I'm 5'10" and have always been with tall women. My wife is 5'11". The girl before her was slightly taller, and the girl before that was about the same. Guess I have a thing for tall ladies.

[WhirlwindGuy]

Do men care about female height?

 

 

 

I really prefer women less than 5'5" Between 5 and 5'3" is my happy place.

 

 

Strange, but I found I seem to be much more attracted to short women.

 

 

I am 6'2"

[normal person]

An update:

 

I sent her a text asking her about this and asked in that text, jokingly, if she got tired of the weirdos contacting her, present company excluded, lol!"

 

Why did you say that? What did you have to gain by this?

 

And she said, "Yes, It's not the place for me and the more I think about dating, the more I realize I'm not ready for it. (What kind of line of crap is that, right? lol)

 

"I'll give you a buzz if you change your mind"

 

I almost said, "Don't bother." but instead said,

 

"Well, I wish you told me that when before you gave me your #, but okay :)"

 

Why did you say anything there?

 

 

Yep.

 

I am thinking to a lesson my dad told me: Know when to shut up! Don't talk your prospective customer out of the sale.

 

You seem like a decent guy and so I am rooting for you to have dating success, and I do kind of feel that you are being piled on here. But this is an issue that comes up in your threads a lot, so it is probably worth repeating. You consistently bring up things to your prospective dates that do not help your cause, such as how you noticed she backed out of a meetup or she lied about her age or whatever. Instead, realize that often the shrewdest thing you can do is to keep a thought to yourself.

 

If there is anything I hope you get from posting here, it is this lesson.

 

This is a good post. Paying too much attention to someone before you even meet them is very much a red flag. Exchange numbers, make a joke or two, make your plan to meet up, and let that be it. Just do the minimum amount. There's no reason to speculate about why she took her profile down or why she doesn't do x, y, or z. Showing concern or worry so early on like that is unattractive. It makes you seem like you're putting so much unnecessary weight on a stranger. There's no benefit to showing all your cards like that. There is no benefit to showing emotional investment in a complete stranger. It just makes you look weird.

 

Do men care about female height?

 

I'm 5'10" and I won't go out with a girl over 5'7". I need to be noticeably bigger than her for it not to feel emasculating for me.

[MGX]

I didn't have a problem with taller ladies. My range is from 5'3" to 6'2" and I'm 5'11".

Tomboyish women are fun to hang around.