john_ohio Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Long story short: She was my first love. We were in "on and off" relationship for almost 2 years. During that time she had a brief relationship with some other guy, then we got back together, then we went off and on for some more times (she always initiated "off" period - I always wanted full relationship, but she just couldn't commit) Since February we are both in relationships (but not with each other). My new gf is an amazing person and although I still not feel completely over my ex, I really want to keep the new girl in my life, as we share a lot of good times together. I still sometimes think of my ex, but I started to come to terms with fact that she's with someone else right now (I used to be very jealous becouse of that) Until this tuesday. Totally out of blue I received a message on facebook from her current BF in which he aksed me to stop contacting with his gf. (I still talk with her sometimes, but these are ordinary conversations. We are not flirting as we are both aware of boundaries which shouldn't be crossed.) I ignored him, but sent a screen of that message to my ex, hoping she will notice what kind of jerk, stalker and creep she is dating. I also suggested her changing FB password, as he probably reads her conversation. But she did not respond. I feel mad as hell. She's extremely important person in my life. What conected us once, was incredibly strong and I refuse to cut her out of my life just becouse this creep told me so. What hurts me the most is that his stupid message resurfaced my feelings for that girl. If he didnt send me this pathetic message, I was on a straight path to leave the past behind. I do my best to control myself and not to act on my emotions, but it's damn hard. I wish she dumped him, and made this pathetic creep suffer from agonizing heartbreak. 1
mrs rubble Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 You admit to still having feelings for her, her boyfriend is right to be worried about your contact with her. You two have alot of history together. He's not a creep, he's just looking out for his interests. What I do find creepy is you having a girlfriend but still holding a flame for your ex...does she know about any of this?? 4
keiji Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 I disagree. The guy should confront his girlfriend, not him. If I'm cheated on, it's my girlfriend's responsibility, not some stranger who couldn't care less whether I get hurt or not. On the other hand, what's so strange about talking to an ex from time to time in a non-flirtatious way? I personally wouldn't trust somebody who has never contacted an ex-partner again. They were important to each other in the past and I hope they still feel affection for them. Certainly not romantic love, but caring about somebody you've shared so much with? Absolutely. 2
ChocolateRain Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 What I do find creepy is you having a girlfriend but still holding a flame for your ex...does she know about any of this?? ^ THiS ....exactly @ OP ... i find your behavior more creepy you have said it yourself that you have been jealous before , what do you think her current BF feels ? 2
Author john_ohio Posted June 11, 2016 Author Posted June 11, 2016 I was also concerned about few guys in my life but never dared harrasing strangers online becouse of my paranoid suspicions. You can't force spoeone to love you by forbidding them contacting other person. I still care about that girl and don't want her to be treated like an object by some possesive freak. Even if it is against his interests... 2
keiji Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 He said "I still sometimes think of my ex". Who doesn't? Thinking that your partner doesn't think about their ex from time to time is unrealistic, pure self-deceit. Having them remove them completely from their life won't change that fact. 2
Zahara Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Put this guy aside -- the deeper issue is you moving on to someone else without ever resolving your past with this woman. Reading your last thread, your ex left you six or seven times for other men or to be alone. You're only going to self-sabotage if you don't take the time to heal from this rather than fill that void with someone else. You have a toxic dependence on your ex. It's not love. You also mentioned in your last thread that you're still agonizing over your ex. The only person you should consider here is your current girlfriend. None of this is fair to her. Casual contact with an ex is fine but NOT when you're still emotionally and mentally invested to the point that it's taking your focus away from your current relationship. 3
keiji Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 You also mentioned in your last thread that you're still agonizing over your ex. This obviously changes my point of view completely. Not fair for your girlfriend. That said, I insist that guy should have a conversation with his girlfriend instead of playing alpha-male via Facebook. 1
Satu Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 This situation is the result of you beginning a new relationship without clearing up after the last one. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Perhaps she put him up to it. Just speculating, but maybe she didn't want to seem like a jerk by cutting contact with you so she had him take care of it.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Perhaps she put him up to it. Just speculating, but maybe she didn't want to seem like a jerk by cutting contact with you so she had him take care of it.
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