Loganrough Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 So the story is I tried impressing people at work because i was the new guy and tried to fit in with people and i tried copying how others acted, but because its not me i came off terrible. I ruined some relationships by being boastful and pushy and now everyone at work knows i am a creep. I admit i messed up. It is my first office job. So i am new to the huge coworker scene and i really messed up bad. Is there any advice on how i can fix this and move forward? Or am i forever ruined at this job? These people, both men and women did like me at first, but like i said i ruined it by trying to fit in. Anyway to redeem myself? I know the obvious answer is to be myself now. But how long do you think it will take for people to come around or is there no hope for me?
todreaminblue Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 (edited) dont try to fit in but always be friendly polite courteous..be yourself....smile and say hello even if you dont get a response...this is probably the hardest bit...allow others the courtesy over getting over how you were at first in their own time...not your schedule or believed time it should take........you tried to eb dominant....when you shouldnt have...so now...try submitting to protocol...its actually the only way..... this wasnt a work situation but i had a guy hate on me.....on sight actually......the only way i turned it around....was to allow him to see who i was.....he watched me interact with others...i was myself....and he came round...in his own time..... had another interaction with two guys who didnt much like me either...i handled it the same way submission and honesty..... negotiators or mediators dont dominate....they submit and compromise but with this,they are courteous but firm..dont compromise at the core of the issue or who you are..you have to be a mediator for yourself.....and your desire to be part of the group...without compromising who you are as a person...so dont kiss ass(that isnt submitting to a pecking order its actually passive agressive because you hold resentment that you dont fit in so let that resentment go).... be friendly...polite...and approachable..without losing who you are while respecting this group was formed long before you got there...its you who has to compromise and its their time that is needed to get to knwo you all over again....good luck...deb Edited June 11, 2016 by todreaminblue
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