spmh1017 Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 So, had an arguement with the GF about her social media interaction with a "guy buddy". Nothing over the line, just excessive. She was kinda angry with me, said "I cant beleieve your like "stalking me online!" I said "Well yeah, I see his name appear on your instagram and snapchat all the time when I look over at your phone when your on it!" 2 big fouls..checking over her shoulder and watching her likes/snaps. But she ask me..."Did or do you go through my phone when I leave it down!?!" I said no, and thats the honest truth. I figure once I cross that line theirs no going back. But when shes next to me and I see stuff, when I can easily go to her page/see what see likes on IG then its fair game..especially when I got suspicions this guy is an orbiter. I will say, I trust her. I would bet all the money in the world she hasnt done anything physical behind my back or met up with some one..its just her online activity that is odd. Ok, back to story.. I say no to going through her phone and she says.. "Well thats good. You would probably see something dumb in my Facebook messenger and take it out of context and be angry." Wha-wha-what? I said "What does that even mean?!" She deflected tho. Brought up how I showed her my FB messenger months ago and it was filled with girls messenging me, and me deflecting them down. And then she brought up my FB wall comments which sometimes the girls I know can get a bit "over-complimentary" but I deflect that also. Just a "thanks!" and I dont indulge it. She never explained the "context" line...I didnt feel like digging cause I was in the dog house for the "online snooping + over the shoulder phone watching" But now I'm perplexed what it means! Seems fishy to me and I cant dig into it cause Im already public enemy #1 in the Mr. Jealousy list. I dont know how to get it out of my head or if I am just being paranoid.
thecrucible Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Do you have any information about the specific nature of the interaction? What did she do or say that spooked you?
TXGuy Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 She is overreacting, sandbagging, and gas lighting. 87% chance she is cheating. I don't think you will like what you will see if you start turning over rocks. How long have you been dating? How serious are you with this girl? If you are not too serious, then it might be time to start detaching emotionally (you can still keep going physically). But this looks like a train wreck in the making.
Author spmh1017 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Posted June 11, 2016 Do you have any information about the specific nature of the interaction? What did she do or say that spooked you? She hasnt said/done anything I can cleary pin-point aside from saying "You may have seen something dumb you would have taken out of context" Makes me think "Whats 'context'" exactly? Some flirty bull? Some "sexy talk"? I know she has an ex-BF who she complains about whos into some "new age" crap. He lives half way across the country and basically lectures her on "when she will screw this up with me" casue of her deep seeded anger. Tells her to meditate and such. His messesages have been the only I saw over her shoulder once. It was unopened and looks like she doesnt open them (blue unopen dot was on it still) Her "Guy-Buddy" I despise isnt on FB. Thats a Instagram/Snapchat fiasco I have to deal with. She is overreacting, sandbagging, and gas lighting. 87% chance she is cheating. I don't think you will like what you will see if you start turning over rocks. How long have you been dating? How serious are you with this girl? If you are not too serious, then it might be time to start detaching emotionally (you can still keep going physically). But this looks like a train wreck in the making.[/Quote] I dont know if she was over-reacting...I kinda "went a little nutty" the day this happened. I laid into her verbally about this "Guy Buddy" on Snapchat/IG and how I found their relationship wrong on many levels. I threw out some accusations and said things I was sure would have her breaking up with me. She basically cried her eyes out and confessed her love for me over and over and promised and kept proclaiming in her whole life she has never cheated and wouldn't start now considering she pursued me for so long and finally has me. Weve been together 10 months. I guess pretty serious. Shes buying a house and started hinted at wanted me to come live with her. I in a roundabout way said "Not right now, maybe next year". I'd say, in a 7 day week, we spend 3-4 days together. Sleeping over and such. Basically, see her Sunday, leave Monday morning...come back Tue, leave Wed morning etc.. She does keep me up on her social media pages. My pics and such. So she isnt hiding me. Im also the only "BF" shes had in 6 years so I got to go to holidays and invited to the beach house this year. This "context" thing is reeeeeealllly irking me tho.. I know we had a talk a few weeks back about infidelity and she said "I dont think emotional chating is a thing, it isnt real" cause I said cheating can happen emotionally and physically. Thats stuck with me too.
juniorrocha Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Alright, let me share with you my point of view. When I was dating, I told this to my ex: you're free to read anything if you want, and you can ask me if something bothers you, but I have to warn you that you may see something that's out of context or that you may not like, so don't get mad/angry at it. I had nothing to hide. No cheating, no lies, nothing. But I have private conversations with friends that I wouldn't like anyone to read, and that included my ex. Sometimes I would get mad at something she did and talk to a friend about it. Sometimes me and a close friend would talk about girls/women in general, or about someone we find hot, or about past stories, and that could hurt her, I suppose. Not to mention the inside jokes. So maybe she's the same way. I see it like, just because you're dating, doesn't means you have to share every little detail of your life, as long as you respect your partner. I don't really see what she said as a big issue, but that's just me.
chicaboom Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 I think if you want to keep her you need to stop doing this. I would not appreciate it if this was happening to me. I would also ask yourself why you feel the need to constantly check up on her social media? Is it you? or is there someone your gut is telling you about her? I have my own issues with my boyfriend, but jealousy is not one of them. I don't for a second worry that he is flirting with anyone else other than me. I can also say that this hasn't always been the case with past boyfriends and usually when I was jealous I was either insecure about myself or there was something happening...
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