clisbon Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Hi there, I'm writing this because I'm having a lot of doubts... I have a relationship with my bf for 5 years now. For the first 3, we lived in the same city, seeing each other almost every day. It was amazing, of course we had some discussions and problems, but we worked it out. At the beggining I was 20 and he was 19, now I'm 25 and he is 24. I've had only one boyfriend before that and it was really painful because the guy was older but very immature and cheated on me. (an observation here: I can say that I've grown so much and that this relationship tought me a lot about myself and about my relation with the one I love. Since my first bf cheated on me I had a lot of issues with jealousy and trust, so for some times I've had been in big fights with my current boyfriend because of that) So, after 3 years in our relationship I've graduated and so did he, and we both entered a masters program, in different cities. So we chose to keep dating in a LDR and see how that would work out. We've been through almost all the LDR stages, at first it was really hard, then we had to learn how to manage our trust in one another in that situation, and I can't complain, we've always been there for each other since we were both living alone in new places and that's always hard. I'm not the kind of person who falls in love easily or that even feels atracted to people very often, so I didn't have a problem with being faithfull, and I had to learn to trust him even more. Now, with 5 years of relationship, I'm feeling very confused and having doubts. He was the second boy I've been with ever, so I was feeling that I NEEDED to experience more, and I'm not talking about sex , I was so curious just to kiss other person (I know he did kissed a girl when we were at the very beggining of our relationship, and after we began our LDR I'm almost certain that this could've happened again). So, this past months I was very depressed and in a strange place with my life, I was really not feeling myself, I was just feeling numb . And for the first time in years I've met a guy that I felt attracted to. He is from another country and came here just to give a lecture (I had to show him the city and do tourist things), so one night we were drunk and we kissed and I didn't feel bad about that. Now, think with me, I was always the person that did the right thing and never tought that I could do that and not feel guilty about it. But I don't know if it was the depression or the drunkness but it was something so random and that I feel that I needed to do that I felt it was right and meaningless (does that make a sense?) And I think that now I can see that relationships are never black and white and that is ok. Now, I've thinking about all this (the other guy is long gone now and I haven't spoke with him since he left and probably will not), and I love my bf very much, but I'm afraid because we will not get married anytime soon, because we are so young and poor haha , and I do love him and he is my best friend, but I don't know if it's the time to take a break or to break up or the keep together. He has the same doubts that I'm having because we've talked a little about this. In a ideal world, we could take a break and got back together in a year (he's trying to make his doctors at my current city). But that's very unreal. If we do break up or take a break, I know that I'll probably be alone almost all the time, that guy that I've met was a one time thing, so rare to me. Does someone has something to share about this? I would love to talk about. p.s: I'm very sorry about my english, I'm not very good at writing in another language.
Author clisbon Posted June 10, 2016 Author Posted June 10, 2016 I know this is probably a "grass is greener" thing, but I think that he and I are in the same "sintony" and we are both in doubt about what to do. Both of us are grass is greener, is that a thing?
DevotedBaker54 Posted June 16, 2016 Posted June 16, 2016 Hey there! That's a confusing situation to be in. It's hard when you don't know whether you are meant to stay together or not. Ultimately it's a decision you two have to make on your own. Just be really honest to yourself about how you're feeling. You'll either get married or break up. Marriage is about committing your life to one person and making an effort to make your relationship work. Are you willing to make that decision? Maybe discuss where you see your future going with your bf. Hope you two can come to a decision
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