jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 I'm so confused. I've gone out with a guy for dinner twice. The last date was on 6/14. Since then he's emailed quite a few times to "see how my day/week is going", but he hasn't asked me out again. His last email was this past Wednesday. He said that he was super swamped at work and that he was looking forward to the weekend and wondered what I was "up to". I told him about some of the stuff I had on my calendar, but did indicated a couple of days when I was free. So it's Friday night and I didn't get the usual prompt response to my email. So I text messaged him tonight: Me: "Hi Mr. Busy....whatchya up to?" Him: "Lately working late. You? Guess it's my turn to be busy huh?" Me: "Have some things going on, but not too terribly busy. Just curious if there was still any interest on your end. Sorry for being blunt." Him: "Blunt is good. Just busier than expected" So what does this mean? This is the second week/weekend where he's been too busy. Is this just an excuse? And if so, then why didn't he just say that he's not interested in pursuing anything.....I did give him the opportunity to say so. I guess I'm of the opinion that if a guy is really all that into you then he would find a couple of hours to see you at least once a week. So what do I make of this?
elijahBailey Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken I guess I'm of the opinion that if a guy is really all that into you then he would find a couple of hours to see you at least once a week. So what do I make of this? you got this one right no guy is too busy to see a girl he's really into, unless he's playing head games. Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken I'm so confused. I've gone out with a guy for dinner twice. The last date was on 6/14. Since then he's emailed quite a few times to "see how my day/week is going", but he hasn't asked me out again. for these 2 dinner dates, who was the one that initiated it?
moimeme Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 no guy is too busy to see a girl he's really into Untrue. Sometimes you get working on a project and it sucks up every waking hour. Not everybody has the luxury to blow off work to go out and have fun.
BigB Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 What does he do that's keeping him so busy? I'd make a point to squeeze in a few hours, even if it meant a little less sleep or something. I mean who doesn't have a few hours free on a Friday night? Even if you are working on Saturday. but I guess it would understandable if had like a deadline at work or was like a lawyer or some thing like that. Even if he was really busy, wouldn't he have time for a phone call once in a while if he was really interested?
elijahBailey Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by BigB What does he do that's keeping him so busy? I'd make a point to squeeze in a few hours, even if it meant a little less sleep or something. I'm totally with you man. A guy can't spare a few hours for a weekend (Fri night, Sat and Sun) on a girl he's really into? I've got friends who work ridiculous hours, but they make time for their special ones. It's just the way a person prioritize things.
moimeme Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 got friends who work ridiculous hours, but they make time for their special ones Um. Two dates do not a 'special one' make.
elijahBailey Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Um. Two dates do not a 'special one' make. uhh.... true
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by elijahBailey for these 2 dinner dates, who was the one that initiated it? Him. That's why this is soooo weird. I know he's working on renovating his house, which takes up a bunch of his time, but his regular job is a mon-fri thing.
elijahBailey Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken Him. That's why this is soooo weird. I know he's working on renovating his house, which takes up a bunch of his time, but his regular job is a mon-fri thing. yeah, then it's kinda weird. I'd still give him the benefit of doubt. Give him time and see if he responds. just some possibilities... . he's taking it slow . he's genuinely busy . he's trying to get a response from you I'd take a step backwards. Time will definitely tell. For me, I like a girl that plays it cool
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by elijahBailey yeah, then it's kinda weird. I'd still give him the benefit of doubt. Give him time and see if he responds. just some possibilities... . he's taking it slow . he's genuinely busy I'm all for taking things slow. I'm not really looking to rush into anything either. But I do think that if you're really interested in someone then you make an effort to see them more than once every couple of weeks....even if it's just for a quick lunch. . he's trying to get a response from you What kind of response? I'd take a step backwards. Time will definitely tell. For me, I like a girl that plays it cool I think I've been playing it "cool", up until my "blunt" comment to him earlier today.
elijahBailey Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken What kind of response? What I meant was that he might want to see how you would react if he played it cool? I dunno, I'm only guessing Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken I think I've been playing it "cool", up until my "blunt" comment to him earlier today. oh, hey, a woman's who's blunt is cool too, so don't let that get to you
moimeme Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Ever think that maybe he's trying to rush and finish his house so it'll be suitable for you to visit?
nicetomeetu Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 umm, I think being busy is quite possible. I would give it a bit more time. I know with my career its hard to see people and do what I want. I am often accused of avoiding people, but honestly I just don't have the time. I would wait a bit longer. I have turned down dated with guys that I am interested in as well because of my shedule. It's not always personal. I think that maybe he is in no hurry either. Which is not a bad thing.
miss-gonewest Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Sorry to be blunt, but maybe he is dating around... maybe he is just 'shopping' and may have another woman on the go.... How did you meet him? Did he indicate he was looking for a relationship type thing, or is he just a dater?
centered Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by miss-gonewest Sorry to be blunt, but maybe he is dating around... maybe he is just 'shopping' and may have another woman on the go.... I agree. He's dating more than one woman right now, and you're his "plan b." It's possible he liked the way you kissed, but maybe he's getting more from "plan a" right now. If you're okay with waiting for him to decide if he wants to drop his A girl, then stick around. Otherwise, move on and find someone who really appreciates all you have to offer.
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by centered I agree. He's dating more than one woman right now, and you're his "plan b." It's possible he liked the way you kissed, but maybe he's getting more from "plan a" right now. If you're okay with waiting for him to decide if he wants to drop his A girl, then stick around. Otherwise, move on and find someone who really appreciates all you have to offer. That's the thing.... he never kissed me.
alphamale Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken I guess I'm of the opinion that if a guy is really all that into you then he would find a couple of hours to see you at least once a week. Correct J_J_HB. Everyone uses the "busy" excuse. If two people genuinely dig each other they make the time. Ever hear anyone say they are too busy to go to bathroom or eat or sleep?? So what do I make of this? Institute strict NC on your part and see what happens. He may be playing hard-to-get which is what I do and it works usually. But don't put all yer eggs in one basket and go out with other dudes.
moimeme Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 See how quick you folks are to assume the worst? What use is it to always think ill of others based on zero information?
alphamale Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme What use is it to always think ill of others based on zero information? and conversely, what use is it to always think good of others based on zero info?
shygurl Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale and conversely, what use is it to always think good of others based on zero info? Exactly, great point. She didn't come here bashing him, or trying to solicit responses such as "he's a big fat jerk"....she was merely looking for possible explanations to his aloof behavior - considering he'd asked her out twice for dinner. Nobody works 24/7. She's already indicated that he works a Mon to Fri job and is also renovating his house. Tons of ppl do home renovations every single day - some rather extensive - yet it does seem odd that he's too busy now - such that he can't even tell her something like "hey, I'm so busy now with all this renovating stuff, deadlines, contractors etc....but give me a week or so to get caught up and I'd like to get together for a coffee or lunch."
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by shygurl yet it does seem odd that he's too busy now - such that he can't even tell her something like "hey, I'm so busy now with all this renovating stuff, deadlines, contractors etc....but give me a week or so to get caught up and I'd like to get together for a coffee or lunch." That's exactly what I'm looking to hear from this guy. I've been busy with stuff, everyone gets busy with stuff...so I understand. I just want to know if there is a future with this guy, or if I am "back up girl" because he's too busy getting busy with someone else.
alphamale Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken or if I am "back up girl" because he's too busy getting busy with someone else. like I said J_J_HB....don't put all your emotional eggs in one basket.
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Oh, I haven't. I'm dating another guy too. It's just that this Mr. Strangebehavior guy and I seem to have better chemistry, and he's a lot more fun to be around. The other guy is nice, but kind of a bore.
alphamale Posted June 25, 2005 Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken It's just that this Mr. Strangebehavior guy and I seem to have better chemistry, and he's a lot more fun to be around. Yes, and he is more elusive and less desperate. More of a challenge. girls like that The other guy is nice, but kind of a bore. being "nice" is always the kiss of death. women like excitement good luck J_J_HB
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 25, 2005 Author Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Yes, and he is more elusive and less desperate. More of a challenge. girls like that Oh gosh no. I don't like it when guys are that elusive. Some amount of predictability and dependability is nice. being "nice" is always the kiss of death. women like excitement Nah. What I like are nice, dependable guys who are funny. This other guy is just a bit too shy and reserved for my liking.
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