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Met a girl Online, so hard to give her up... She Broke up with me

theitcrowd

By theitcrowd
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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theitcrowd New Member

theitcrowd

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Well firstly before I start , Please be gentle on me I know I've made mistakes in this relationship so please don't go bad mouthing me or blaming me.

 

Well I met a girl (She is 27) and I am 22 ... on instagram (She lives in Spain) and I live in Dubai.. and she started to text me (when she was with her boyfriend) , at first she it was casual talk but we both felt a connection but I kept telling her she had a boyfriend and I am not interested in her not more than friends... then she told me the truth and said he cheated on her and had sex with another girl and she didn't love him anymore but just tried to love him... and she said she loves me and wants to meet me... so we started to have long long skype date conversations... and then in November last year she finally came to meet me and we met .. I never had a girlfriend before , never kissed a girl nor had sex so it was all new to me though I ofcourse know how to treat a girl because I have sisters and girl- friends.....

 

 

It was two perfect weeks with her I lost my virginity to her and I kissed her and we went on dates and did a lot of things together and when it was time for her to leave she felt very very sad inside and when she went home she called me and started to cry and wanted to be with me...

 

But something happened before that... just before she came I noticed some weird Arab guy ( who definitely liked her and flirted with her) was talking to her and those kind of things... And I was a bit busy on the first day she arrived so I told her I'll be back soon and when I return back she said he asked for her number via instagram DM and she gave it... and this is the first thing I got mad at.. but not so mad.. I just told her if you respect me just delete him.. why do you need to talk to him when I am here with you for real... and this guy sent her messages like lets meet up... lets talk when your boyfriend is not there...

 

 

Okay she deleted him.... and then we had the perfect 2 weeks...

 

 

Then it was all skype calls for the next few months until she decided to come to see me for my birthday again in January... I was very excited and happy that I was going to see her sooner than ever!

 

But then I noticed she started to talk to him again.. and he was being flirty with her... but I didn't say anything but when she came in January I noticed he was sending her messages but very casual ones not flirty ones ... but she was there for one week and I decided not to hurt her or anything and let it go and ask her when she goes back to Spain....

 

But I noticed her behavior was very different the second time... she didn't want to hold my hand much and I kept asking her what's wrong what did I do wrong.. but she didn't tell me... and she made me cry a lot on the first day because I didn't know what was happening and felt like the worst person in the world...

 

Then again we had a perfect week and she was sad to leave again and I could feel all the love back but then she told me I didn't like your behaviour that you don't trust me and that you are posessive of me talking to this boy online.. she said I need to trust him. BUT she doesn't really know the mentality of the Arab people ( don't call me racist , but I live in the UAE and I know what the boys do ) they screenshot photos from snapchat and instagram and upload them as their girlfriends or put them on adult websites.. I was just protecting her...

 

No matter how much I told her that she never listened and insisted on talking to this boy..

 

But then she deleted him anyway and we became normal and we had all the love going...

 

But just after Valentine's day she went out with her friend and didn't text me all day... and I am so used to her texting me , even when she is out with her friends or anyone she always texts me and says I love you... but I didn't hear from her for 9-10 hours.... but I saw her liking another Arab man's photo and I just said to her Please what happened why don't you love me anymore that you have time to like photos when you are out with your friends but no time to talk to your own boyfriend? What did I do wrong??

 

Maybe this part sounds childish but I am so used to her texting me all the time in the start of our relationship and I always used to do the same to her when I am out with my friends...

 

Then she lost it that day and broke up with me...... I was so sad.... but she said I was a really nice guy and didn't want to block me...... but at the same time some girl messaged her on instagram asking for my number because she wanted to talk to me.. so she said look this girl is asking your number..... maybe you can start a relationship with her.....

 

I got so angry when she said this.. because it was only like a few hours after we broke up... so I said okay if you don't love me then give this girl my number.... since now we are just friends.. AT this point she got so mad at me and blocked me... ( I only said it because she was being childish and saying start a relationship now with this girl...... But still inside I loved this girl... and I just wanted her to know how I feel when she is busy flirting with boys online....)

 

I waited for a day and then emailed her... I said horrible rude things to her out of anger and being so hurt inside of being ignored... ( THIS IS MY FAULT entirely) after this she never replied... but then I kept emailing her and then she said she never wants to see me again in her life and I am nothing to her anymore....

 

Now this really breaks my heart.. because I was honest in our relationship , I was true... I always respected her.. being far away and I never flirted with any girl.. and I don't understand that she flew all the way 2 times to see a stranger and start a relationship with me but decides to end it all in one day... I find it so hard to understand and let it go from my mind...

 

And now she is rebounding with another stranger she met who is the same race as me... and is traveling all around her country being with him and doing thigs we planned to do this June.... ( She never knew this guy before I am certain, her friend probably introduced her to him a few days after our breakup)

 

She has been cheated on before and she knows the pain, so why did she want to put the pain on me by rebounding and sleeping with someone new so fast ?

 

I am now in complete No contact with her.... it's been 3 months... but I still want a reason why she acted so weird with me..

 

I have a deep feeling she is a narcissist and loves attention of other boys and strangers/weirdo's on the internet ( Married men etc.)

 

Thanks for your support everyone!

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted (edited)

She wasn't acting "weird" with you, in the sense that this is who she is. There's clearly an established pattern of behaviour here.

 

Your biggest mistake was trusting someone who started flirting with you when she already had a boyfriend. And then continuing to try to make it work when she was blatantly disrespecting you and your relationship. I feel for you, as I know she was your first everything and we tend to fall hard in that case. But you need to really pay more attention to red flags in the future. A perfect week together does not erase bad behaviour.

 

Don't try to carry on a relationship (especially long-distance) with someone who demonstrates they're not to be trusted. It sadly doesn't matter how sincere or invested you were; she wasn't. Stay No Contact, forever.

 

And yes, some people really do just bask in the attention of the opposite sex. She likes that men want her. Honestly, she sounds very immature for her age. At 27, she should be past these types of games.

 

A question that might help shed some light here: who paid for her trips to the UAE? You or her?

Edited by ExpatInItaly
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theitcrowd New Member

theitcrowd

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
She wasn't acting "weird" with you, in the sense that this is who she is. There's clearly an established pattern of behaviour here.

 

Your biggest mistake was trusting someone who started flirting with you when she already had a boyfriend. And then continuing to try to make it work when she was blatantly disrespecting you and your relationship. I feel for you, as I know she was your first everything and we tend to fall hard in that case. But you need to really pay more attention to red flags in the future. A perfect week together does not erase bad behaviour.

 

Don't try to carry on a relationship (especially long-distance) with someone who demonstrates they're not to be trusted. It sadly doesn't matter how sincere or invested you were; she wasn't. Stay No Contact, forever.

 

And yes, some people really do just bask in the attention of the opposite sex. She likes that men want her. Honestly, she sounds very immature for her age. At 27, she should be past these types of games.

 

A question that might help shed some light here: who paid for her trips to the UAE? You or her?

 

 

Hello there, thank you for your reply. She paid for everything to come see me... she claimed she was deeply in love with me... As well as she is extremely wealthy and has everything she needs in her life, a fancy luxury car , a big house all paid by her parents.

 

I only accepted her at first because I was madly in love with her after our skype calls everyday and also because her ex had cheated on her... and she wasn't in love with him anymore...

 

Sometimes I would wonder too about her maturity, her ex would call her childish at times and say she would act like a kid... I wish I saw these signs earlier...

 

I was just too in love with my first love.. she was all that I dreamed of... Maybe there was love in the first time she came to see me but I saw she changed the second time I met her because I told her to delete these guys...

Edited by theitcrowd
juniorrocha Established Member

juniorrocha

Posted
Posted

You fell for her way too soon.

 

1. Don't date people that's already dating. That shows a lot about you and the other person. The reasons doesn't matter;

 

2. You have no right to demand anything from her, especially considering you weren't even officially dating yet. She was single and free, right? On a side note, you seem to be very needy, work on that;

 

3. I think this one is obvious but that woman seems to be a lil sneaky. It may take some time to heal, but eventually you'll notice you're better off without her.

 

That's life. Live and learn. You're so young, there's a lot to come.

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