she's gorgeous but inexperienced...continue? or lost cause

[ClimateChangeisREAL]

I am new to this so here goes...

 

 

I'm getting to know this beautiful woman for a few weeks. I haven't kissed her yet as she is soooo shy She is charming, sweet and doesn't realize how stunning she is!

 

I can tell she's been hurt by a lot of guys in the past because when she talks about some of the guys she's "dated" they have all kinda screwed her over which is sad. She has actually been single a lot longer than I would expect over all, going on dates on and off through out the years in my books doesn't count as the same as being in an actual relationship, but with her looks I'm surprised she's been single for almost 8 years, I mean for god's sake, she's gorgeous and she can't even see it! When i first told her how pretty she was, she smiled and laughed nervously.

 

In fact, she does that nervous laughter a lot. When I told her about my last ex ( which was a year ago) she didn't really offer anything or say anything about it. I felt like i was a complete weirdo talking about some ex girlfriend ( I mean we all bring up our past ex's I think while dating at some point) and then I stopped myself as she nervously laughed and didn't say anything.

 

I just thought that maybe she's reserved and has a hard time opening up as she's a bit rusty with relationships and been a long time being single.

 

I don't mind taking more of a lead in this as I can tell I have to in order for our relationship to progress, but I sometimes wonder, if she had more experience with guys ( I.E more long term relationships) I wouldn't have to wait this long for her to " open up".

 

 

Because I really like this woman, I don't mind being patient, but it sometimes frustrates me that it's been a month and I haven't even kissed her yet and I have been on four dates with her ! In the past, if I had got to date number three with a girl I liked, our clothes would be on the floor of either my apartment or hers.

 

All I notice is that she's a bit more "pure" from the inexperience and lack of relationship skills and experience but I am willing to wait it out and not force it. The reason why I haven't kissed her yet is that I just sense she isn't ready.

 

I thought about next date asking her if I can kiss her before kissing her. I've told her that I really like her and am attracted to her but you guessed it, she does that nervous laughter again and looks sheepishly at the floor. When I asked her how she felt about me she said that I have been really nice to her and she has enjoyed getting to know me slowly thus far.

 

It's a bit strange, I can't read her like I have been with other woman. The other thing is I am kinda curious about WHY she's been single for so long. I want to ask, should I? and how should I go about it and not sound like a douchebag.

 

Has anyone gone out with a woman/man that's been a little bit less " experienced" and how have they dealt with it? was it successful? did the relationship last? what should i do from here?

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

No offense but you seem a little patronizing. Like a better questioned would be " am I wasting my time because I am not getting what I want immediately i.e.. shagging or should I wait for this delicate little inexperienced creature opens up and lets me get physical with her?"

 

I don't know her reasons of why she's been single for 8 years but there are loads of people ( even good looking people) who have been single for a really long time, years in fact, and their reasons are as simple as " haven't met the right person" so.. go for your life asking her " why have you been single for so long" but you might not get the answer you want or don't want... I mean what answer are you expecting? are you testing it to see if it's "worthy of a red flag?"

 

she may be scared to open up because she's been single for a long time but then so what? it's a good chance for you to reevaluate your expectations yourself?

 

For example, In the past, if I had got to date number three with a girl I liked, our clothes would be on the floor of either my apartment or hers.

 

That's some pretty high expectations or low expectations or maybe just easy woman? or maybe you're easy who knows?

 

Now you've got a woman you have to work hard for! good for you. A bit of a challenge. Someone who will make you wait and maybe someone who values herself ( despite that nervous laughter you talk about). She's not giving in so easy. I say good on her!

 

So I don't think her " lack of experience" has anything to do with it. What makes you a relationship king? I figure some people have been married for 20 years are still pretty clueless.

 

I think it's just a girl that you find very attractive is not giving you what you usually expect, and now you have a challenge, NOW you have to work hard for her.

 

Going slow is sometimes a sign of maturity. Whoever this girl is, I give massive props to her!

[tinkerbell16]

Hi Climate, She seems really shy. I like your plan to ask permission to kiss her. Next date stroke her arm, take her hand and pull her close and ask but ask with confidence.

It may sound crazy but when you are "gorgeous" like you describe her to be it can hinder your love life. Most men wont approach you because they assume they wont have a chance and the men who do ask you out can let their insecurities take over because they think they can and will loose you to (their perception) all the other men vying for your attention. Be patient with her... you may end up with a unicorn.

[californiablonde]

A few questions how old are you both if you don't mind me asking? How much relationship experience do suspect she has? Also you mention her being pure... is she possibly a virgin or had very limited sexual interaction?

 

I think you are on the right track. If you really like her I would try and wait it out as long as possible. Three dates is not that much time. I personally would have exchanged a kiss by date number two but if she is really reserved or nervous then it would make sense why she hasn't attempted to do so. If the vibe doesn't feel right don't force it. Does she seem receptive to other physical contact like hugs or hand holding? I would use those as a barometer as to how much she is comfortable. If you haven't even established any of those I would start there.Its like a hot bath you kind of have to ease her into assuming thats what she wants.

 

Do you text or talk a lot on the phone? If so does she seemed more relaxed? I think even though you have more experience as a man its better to talk the lead because she is less likely to question your interest in her. Meaning she will probably assume its prompted only because she sought it out. I also think that given the fact that she is so slow to open up even if you did ask about her being single for so long she is not likely to give you the answer you as seeking. She will probably nervously play it off and say something dismissive about herself or dance around the question out of anxiety. For example you brought up your ex/past relationship and that would have been the perfect way to casually ask about her situation but she seemingly didn't respond to that conversation. So in that case its a good idea to hold off. It really a matter of getting her to feel comfortable and relaxed around and everything else will take care of itself. Slow and steady my friend.lol.

[basil67]

Why has she been single for so long? It sounds like a simple case of her being too nervous to date successfully. Most guys want more than just pretty if it's to last longer than a few dates.

 

Is this girl interested in you at all? Does she ask questions to get to know you?

[BaileyB]

I agree with Daisy. Not all women are quick to get physical and sleep with a man. Perhaps, you have met a very nice woman who has some good boundaries and would like to get to know you, before getting physical. You will have to go at her pace, if you want to be with her. Which means, you have to check your expectations.

 

My suggestion, tell her that you like her and ask for that kiss - in an honest, playful, or fun way. Just because she is shy and slow to get physical with you doesn't mean that she won't be an exceptional woman to date. Give her a chance and give it some time.

 

I do think she may appreciate you taking the lead... But take it slow and have some fun with it. Good luck.

[GemmaUK]

When I asked her how she felt about me she said that I have been really nice to her and she has enjoyed getting to know me slowly thus far.

 

I don't think she is as shy as you think.

What she said above and her behaviours are key.

She is letting you talk to gauge the kind of person you are.

 

You don't actually say that you are dating her but by your own admission you're saying that usually by this stage it's normal for you to have kissed and clothes will be on the floor.

I think she has sensed that you are not being true to your usual behaviour in some way so is waiting to find out in what way.

 

I do exactly the same when I get the sense that something is off.

[californiablonde]

No offense but you seem a little patronizing. Like a better questioned would be " am I wasting my time because I am not getting what I want immediately i.e.. shagging or should I wait for this delicate little inexperienced creature opens up and lets me get physical with her?"

 

For example, In the past, if I had got to date number three with a girl I liked, our clothes would be on the floor of either my apartment or hers.

 

That's some pretty high expectations or low expectations or maybe just easy woman? or maybe you're easy who knows?

 

I am going to have to say I kind of agree with Daisy about the idea of such high expectations. If you knew she was this was going in why are you expecting her to jump to physical interaction so quickly. It does kind of seem that is the underlying theme of your post. I am not saying you want to immediately bang her but you come off as kind of bothered that she isn't moving as fast as you would like her to. Perhaps because she is so attractive she has been approached by many men as is guarded for that reason. She may want to make sure you are not solely pursuing her based off looks alone.

 

Also you say " It's a bit strange, I can't read her like I have been with other woman". So this is probably also something to consider in terms of increased attraction to her. She is mysterious and different. The chase is harder than previous conquests. I only mention this because I wonder if it is influencing how you feel about her?

[Emilia]

Sounds like poor social skills due to lack of socialising. I'd imagine she has bad experiences because other men got fed up dragging someone along who has infantile attitudes. I mean she can't even contribute to your conversations.

[salparadise]

Sounds like poor social skills due to lack of socialising. I'd imagine she has bad experiences because other men got fed up dragging someone along who has infantile attitudes. I mean she can't even contribute to your conversations.

 

 

She sounds shy and reticent to me. Most beautiful women end up having a ton of self-confidence, but perhaps she was not validated as a child and it resulted in shyness or social awkwardness.

 

I think you have to accept that this is who she is. Sure, you can take the lead and see if she's responsive. Asking before trying to kiss her is sort of tippy toeing around it all. I think a better approach would be to make sure it's a comfortable time and place, pay her a few sincere compliments to telegraph what's about to happen and then go for it. She will either respond or not and you will learn a little more about her. If she turns you down, I'd ask why- gently.

 

If after three dates you can't even get a kiss, chances are she is always going to be shy and reticent even after it progresses. I don't think you're going to find a switch that turns her into a tigress. You'll have to deal with the question, "is this what I want, or can I be happy with this type of personality?" The initial gorgeousness is only going to carry it so long.

[Emilia]

She soundsshy and reticent to me. Most beautiful women end up having a ton of self-confidence, but perhaps she was not validated as a child and it resulted in shyness or social awkwardness.

In my experience, you can find the tone with shy people. Though obviously not everyone can, chemistry won't just happen with anyone in general.

 

If this happens (quoted from original post):

"In fact, she does that nervous laughter a lot. When I told her about my last ex ( which was a year ago) she didn't really offer anything or say anything about it. I felt like i was a complete weirdo talking about some ex girlfriend ( I mean we all bring up our past ex's I think while dating at some point) and then I stopped myself as she nervously laughed and didn't say anything."

 

I'd say you have bigger problems than your run-of-the-mill reticence.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

In my experience, you can find the tone with shy people. Though obviously not everyone can, chemistry won't just happen with anyone in general.

 

If this happens (quoted from original post):

"In fact, she does that nervous laughter a lot. When I told her about my last ex ( which was a year ago) she didn't really offer anything or say anything about it. I felt like i was a complete weirdo talking about some ex girlfriend ( I mean we all bring up our past ex's I think while dating at some point) and then I stopped myself as she nervously laughed and didn't say anything."

 

I'd say you have bigger problems than your run-of-the-mill reticence.

 

some people don't want to talk about their ex's because it's in the past and would rather not talk about that stuff until later when it is appropriate. OP's ex is irrelevant when trying to get to know this woman as it has nothing to do with her. I think I would nervously laugh too as I would be thinking about " Um... your business not mine buddy". She also probably nervously laughed because she hasn't had many so she feels like she can't contribute to that line of conversation. Remember your ex was only a year ago, and her ex was 8 years ago. See the difference? You've probably slept with a few girls before then and after your break up. I would assume that she hasn't so much.

 

You have to do things at her pace now and her ways. And I agree with someone who said " she's sensing that you're use to getting what you've always gotten. She's sensing something is off. That you're not being true to yourself".

 

You're an experienced man I assume dating and inexperienced girl trying to push her to open her legs at some point. You're trying to be this gentle guy because her " beauty" is amazing but you have to also remember that she hasn't had that much success.

 

Maybe she is a virgin well then you're going to have to be extra patient. I would actually just relax and try and be her friend rather than try and "date" her. It's going to be a while before she is your girlfriend if that's what you want. You're going to have to learn to slow down, be a gentleman and not rush her and not think of a " time clock" of " I've been on X amount of dates with her thus far and so I should be at this point physically with her"etc...

You're going to have to EARN HER TRUST.

 

The only way you're going to have her open up is get to know her and not always try and kiss her.

 

I would suspect she is shy and nervous and because she is inexperienced and men have often taken advantage of her because of it " Gorgeous inexperienced girl, whose barely been asked out before, all I need to say is she is beautiful and she'll become putty in my hands" . Maybe they've been turned off thinking " it's a red flag that she's been single for so long" and just leave her after a while. Maybe because they've been like you, pushed for something and she is testing to see that you're not " one of those other guys' she's use to. Maybe she was raped before and it traumatized her. Maybe she is a virgin and she's worried if she tells you, you'll leave her. Maybe she is use to that revolving door and by making you "wait" she's testing you to see that you're not a jerk like those other guys have been.

 

Maybe because she is so beautiful, many guys haven't even asked her what her likes, hobbies are etc... and have only liked her physically.

 

Maybe someone never took the time to get to know her and she is waiting for someone to do that...

 

I think you have a precious girl in front of you. And she is sensational and others haven't seen that before or they have but they've thought " she's way out of my league so I can't even try and won't bother".

 

Maybe you think she is " gorgeous and amazing" but others haven't. Ashley Graham is a plus size model that is beautiful. Some men think she is stunning and other people think she's horribly too fat. I'm not saying your girl is plus sized, what I am saying is that gorgeousness is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe other guys haven't thought she was that pretty but you have.

 

She probably has been really hurt in the past. If you are more experienced, channel that " experience" into leading her gently into a relationship. You'll learn to slow down and she'll eventually learn to let go. But I would hold off on the dating and i would just be her friend, so she can comfortably get to know you and learn to trust you first.

[Grapesofwrath]

Aside from her beauty, what do you like about her?

 

I agree with Daisy that, reading between the lines, your post sounds like a request for advice on how to get this shy, inexperienced, lovely girl to be sexual with you sooner rather than later. It sounds like the issue for you is that she is not following your typical timeline and that bothers you. Is that accurate?

[ClimateChangeisREAL]

To answer some questions being asked on here:

 

I am 30 she is 28. I have had three long term relationships and slept with so many people throughout the years, now I've probably lost count. I have no idea how many people she's slept with but I'm guessing it's not many, maybe less than five even.

 

Her last relationship was when she was 20. I think back to when I had a relationship at 20 to now, It was a completely different relationship because I was a completely different person. I have grown and changed in my relationships that I have had with woman, I think if you've only had one relationship and it was almost a decade ago, you probably hold the same beliefs about men that you had when you last had a relationships. It appears that she really only has attracted *******s throughout her time, which is so sad, I don't get it, she's beautiful, if she was my actual girlfriend and we were actually dating, I would treat her like an absolute queen. Woman that beautiful are hard to find.

 

None of my previous girlfriends have never been half as beautiful as she is. My ex was okay looking in comparison to her. That's why I want to ask the reason why she had been single for so long because someone so beautiful in my eyes wouldn't be single for as long as she has been, she'd be snapped up within seconds of walking down the street. It makes no sense to me.

 

So far we've only talked about like what she likes to do which is hiking and exploration and traveling and what i like to do which is gym and sports. She's traveled and lived on her own a lot of the time. I haven't really been out of the country much, but I am hoping that will change soon, especially when I find the right girl to go travelling with. She seems quite independent, which may be a result of her circumstances, but seems also seems quite reluctant to open up.

 

I don't mind waiting for her to come out of her shell. I guess I have been expecting too much because when i am with other woman, I always usually have sex by the third or fourth date, but because she hasn't had much sex before or had too many boyfriends, I know I have to wait and sometimes its hard to do because I love sex, and I want to ( naturally) have sex with this girl ( eventually).

 

I do find her mysterious as someone mentioned. I find that really sexy too but weird, I have never had to as someone said " worked this hard" for a girl before. Usually If I feel a vibe off a girl, I go for it.

 

We've had 2 dinner dates and 2 movie dates. I wanted to like place my hand on her knee in the movie theater but I didn't want to freak her out.

 

I don't want to have sex with her straight away but it is natural for me to want to have sex with her, eventually. I don't mind establishing something like a relationship first it's just that for me personally, I have never had to wait so long such as a fourth date for me to EVEN kiss her.

I've never experienced anything like this before.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

To answer some questions being asked on here:

 

I am 30 she is 28. I have had three long term relationships and slept with so many people throughout the years, now I've probably lost count. I have no idea how many people she's slept with but I'm guessing it's not many, maybe less than five even.

 

Her last relationship was when she was 20. I think back to when I had a relationship at 20 to now, It was a completely different relationship because I was a completely different person. I have grown and changed in my relationships that I have had with woman, I think if you've only had one relationship and it was almost a decade ago, you probably hold the same beliefs about men that you had when you last had a relationships. It appears that she really only has attracted *******s throughout her time, which is so sad, I don't get it, she's beautiful, if she was my actual girlfriend and we were actually dating, I would treat her like an absolute queen. Woman that beautiful are hard to find.

 

None of my previous girlfriends have never been half as beautiful as she is. My ex was okay looking in comparison to her. That's why I want to ask the reason why she had been single for so long because someone so beautiful in my eyes wouldn't be single for as long as she has been, she'd be snapped up within seconds of walking down the street. It makes no sense to me.

 

So far we've only talked about like what she likes to do which is hiking and exploration and traveling and what i like to do which is gym and sports. She's traveled and lived on her own a lot of the time. I haven't really been out of the country much, but I am hoping that will change soon, especially when I find the right girl to go travelling with. She seems quite independent, which may be a result of her circumstances, but seems also seems quite reluctant to open up.

 

I don't mind waiting for her to come out of her shell. I guess I have been expecting too much because when i am with other woman, I always usually have sex by the third or fourth date, but because she hasn't had much sex before or had too many boyfriends, I know I have to wait and sometimes its hard to do because I love sex, and I want to ( naturally) have sex with this girl ( eventually).

 

I do find her mysterious as someone mentioned. I find that really sexy too but weird, I have never had to as someone said " worked this hard" for a girl before. Usually If I feel a vibe off a girl, I go for it.

 

We've had 2 dinner dates and 2 movie dates. I wanted to like place my hand on her knee in the movie theater but I didn't want to freak her out.

 

I don't want to have sex with her straight away but it is natural for me to want to have sex with her, eventually. I don't mind establishing something like a relationship first it's just that for me personally, I have never had to wait so long such as a fourth date for me to EVEN kiss her.

I've never experienced anything like this before.

 

All I hear from you is you wearing your "experience" like a badge of honor and her "inexperience" like a hindrance and a problem that you need to fix. How about respecting her for once and actually respecting her boundaries.

For an 'experienced' man, you sure know nothing about woman! not all woman are going to drop their panties on the third of fourth date.. by the way you're acting you don't sound like you deserve sex from her.

I don't sympathize with you one bit. She has traveled and lived alone, what is that if it's not "experience"? oh because it's not sexual it doesn't count? puh-leaze!

 

And just because she's beautiful doesn't mean she instantly gets the guys. I think Jennifer Aniston is a beautiful actress. But for years the media referred her as a bit of a crazy cat lady being left on the shelf only associated to the relationship with Brad Pitt and the love triangle between her, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Everyone felt sorry for her like " boo hoo beautiful woman can't find love" then all of a sudden beautiful woman did find love, with an equally beautiful man. They got married last year. Her single status for years on end didn't seem to slow her down one bit. She found the right person.

 

I think you have an expectation, like " I'm going to get sex" and when you don't get it it's like you've been really hard done by. No one should feel sorry for you! get over yourself! this is about her! the question is " do you deserve her?" Her single status is not a reflection of like how amazing she is, how amazing she will be, etc...

 

I know this because I was single for years and years and years and highly embarrassed about it. It's people like you who perpetuate this sense of shame and embarrassment over their single status, like it's something that needs to "fess up" and justify, when really there isn't anything to talk about and nothing that needs explaining.

 

If you continue having this attitude " like I've never experienced this before" then you really don't deserve her. She is who she is, if you don't like it, save her the hassle and let her find someone who doesn't see her as a project or a maths problem that needs solving.

[Gaeta]

She is not shy she is cautious.

 

She is not inexperienced she has dated and had relationships.

 

She is beautiful and she knows it.

 

She has been single for a long time because the right man did not come along. It's not because a woman is beautiful that she has to accept dating every idiot hitting on her.

 

I was single for 10 years and I am considered a beautiful smart independent professional woman. I heard a thousand times 'why is a woman like you single'. I was single because I was tired of the games, the c0cky men hitting on me, the players, the trophy hunters. I was looking for a genuine man and it took him 10 years to cross my path.

 

Stop assuming you know everything about her, that you know her character, what she wants, what she experienced or not. Treat her like a woman you respect, not someone you think you have figured out.

[Grapesofwrath]

She is not shy she is cautious.

 

She is not inexperienced she has dated and had relationships.

 

She is beautiful and she knows it.

 

She has been single for a long time because the right man did not come along. It's not because a woman is beautiful that she has to accept dating every idiot hitting on her.

 

I was single for 10 years and I am considered a beautiful smart independent professional woman. I heard a thousand times 'why is a woman like you single'. I was single because I was tired of the games, the c0cky men hitting on me, the players, the trophy hunters. I was looking for a genuine man and it took him 10 years to cross my path.

 

Stop assuming you know everything about her, that you know her character, what she wants, what she experienced or not. Treat her like a woman you respect, not someone you think you have figured out.

 

I agree with everything Gaeta says here. Also, it's clear from your post that your goal with this young lady is to get her into bed. You mention only your desire to sleep with her. Not a word about a relationship. Nothing about wanting to know her, develop a connection, or share real intimacy. Perhaps she senses this and she respects herself enough to not be another notch on your bed post.

[minimariah]

...but I sometimes wonder, if she had more experience with guys ( I.E more long term relationships) I wouldn't have to wait this long for her to " open up".

 

doubt it - one thing has nothing to do with the other; experience does not equal opening up, social skills and so on... in fact, i think folks WITHOUT experiences open up a lot faster because they don't really have any bad feelings, resentment or trust issues that come with (bad) relationship experiences.

 

she's just shy and introverted. that is up to her personality, not experience. if you don't click well with her - move on. again... maybe you just don't like or to care to hang around introverts.

 

about the famous - well, WHY are you single...? - question; it often translates into - well, what is wrong with you that you've been single for so long?

 

si be careful with that. she's an introvert and isn't very social, hard to open up and get intimate + has some bad experiences, guys you're attracted to and have connection don't really fall off every tree = there is your answer.

 

also - she probably does know she's beautiful but her laugh at your compliments might also mean "is that ALL he's interested in, my looks?"

[thecrucible]

I don't think you should assume anything. I mean I'd consider myself quite experienced as I have been in a few long term relationships and have slept with several over the years (feeling neutral not proud or ashamed of this). Anyway I am fairly nerdy and slightly on the quiet side and I've had some guys assume I don't know what I'm doing or I'm shy. In reality I have been scarred by certain situations so I have a slight guard up regarding opening up. I'm starting to get much better now but there was a period when I was like this. I also don't talk about exes much and have deleted all of their photos from Facebook or untagged myself. Because I'm not apt to bring up guys I've dated ages ago or even previous relationships very often, then again some people assume I don't have any experience when it's actually quite the opposite. I'm just not interested in getting dragged into talk of exes too much (on a date for instance) because I don't see how the past is relevant.

 

Oh and I've been single for just over 2 years now and I'm not really counting and I do wish I was with someone but let's hope I don't get judged on this. Part of the reason I have been single is that I only want to date the right person. I have actually turned down a few opportunities for relationships because the dynamic with that person didn't feel right to me or he didn't seem mature enough for a proper relationship.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

doubt it - one thing has nothing to do with the other; experience does not equal opening up, social skills and so on... in fact, i think folks WITHOUT experiences open up a lot faster because they don't really have any bad feelings, resentment or trust issues that come with (bad) relationship experiences.

 

she's just shy and introverted. that is up to her personality, not experience. if you don't click well with her - move on. again... maybe you just don't like or to care to hang around introverts.

 

about the famous - well, WHY are you single...? - question; it often translates into - well, what is wrong with you that you've been single for so long?

 

si be careful with that. she's an introvert and isn't very social, hard to open up and get intimate + has some bad experiences, guys you're attracted to and have connection don't really fall off every tree = there is your answer.

 

also - she probably does know she's beautiful but her laugh at your compliments might also mean "is that ALL he's interested in, my looks?"

 

 

I think that is the key element here. The real questions you want to know is " what is wrong with her that she's been single for so long? in your experience, beautiful girls aren't single for long because when you've probably been on a date with a beautiful girl, and you would probably sleep with her in a mater of days... almost in misogynistic response of, good looking girls SHOULDN'T be single. They should be attached, married and taken. You might even think that beautiful woman belong on your arm.

 

And I think this girl is smart. She knows that what you're about. She is much cleaver than you by the sounds of things. While you're trying to condescendingly assume that she doesn't know what she is doing, she may be teaching you a lesson. Don't assume anything. You don't know woman as well as you think you do. If you did know woman, you wouldn't try the same old maddening and tired formula of trying to get their knickers off before they know who you are and before you know who they are. And what happened to those girls that you slept with on the third or fourth date? did it progress to a fifth? or did you sleep with these woman and think.. now that i have got what i have always wanted from day one, I don't want what I thought I wanted from them...which is a relationship.

 

You may think the same about her. I hope for her safety and well-being she is smart enough to find someone else that doesn't judge her so harshly and attempt to get her naked before knowing anything about her in the slightest. She deserves better and you need to get a life.

[todreaminblue]

you know little about her ..you dont really know if she is shy.....as another poster said it could be a guard...you have to get to know her better before you assume anything..be yourself if nothing else as a lot of women who listen alot or listen more than they speak and divulge...actually take notice and can tell when things are a bit left of center.......the only way to do it ...is to take it at her pace......so it might take some effort on both behalves......what you can assume for sure...is it isnt going to be like your other relationships or dates or follow those timelines...which in reality didnt work for you anyway as you yourself...you are still looking...so maybe this is a good thing....patience....reaps its own rewards...and mayeb thsi relationship will be a breath of fresh air to your "experiences".......good luck...deb

[VeveCakes]

Do not ask her to kiss her! Just make the move... girls HATE being asked that... it ruins the mood.

 

Why haven't you tried to make a move yet? Do you text? Flirt over text?

[preraph]

She doesn't sound shy to me. You sound shy to me. She has had relationships and everything, so she can't be all that shy. Are you certain she knows you are dating her and not just trying to be her friend? If you're dating, you should have at least tried to kiss her by the third date. If she ducks, she either needs to stop seeing you or have a good explanation.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

She doesn't sound shy to me. You sound shy to me. She has had relationships and everything, so she can't be all that shy. Are you certain she knows you are dating her and not just trying to be her friend? If you're dating, you should have at least tried to kiss her by the third date. If she ducks, she either needs to stop seeing you or have a good explanation.

 

What? so OP blows a whistle and says " time out! you need a good explanation! you've rejected three of my advances and you need a good explanation as to why you've rejected me".

 

She may not like him or she maybe shy. If OP really likes her and respects her and doesn't judge her then he would be patient and wait a bit instead of demanding a kiss.

 

She's an autonomous human being she can choose how she responds. And some girls like to be asked if they can be kissed first. I personally like it.

[todreaminblue]

What? so OP blows a whistle and says " time out! you need a good explanation! you've rejected three of my advances and you need a good explanation as to why you've rejected me".

 

She may not like him or she maybe shy. If OP really likes her and respects her and doesn't judge her then he would be patient and wait a bit instead of demanding a kiss.

 

She's an autonomous human being she can choose how she responds. And some girls like to be asked if they can be kissed first. I personally like it.

 

I also liked to be asked...and the best of guys i have dated i have noticed repeatedly...that they ask for the first kiss...they see i am reserved i guess.....i think its brave,gentlemanly and old school...its lovely ....to not assume a kiss and take it but to ask for one..

 

 

.i respect guys for having guts enough to ask first..for me...its instant appreciation and respect they azsked.... it relaxes me into the kiss that i know the guy cares about me enough to ask and not assume i am ready for that first kiss....and if when he takes it his tongue doesnt turn into an octopus and try to touch my tonsils...bonus.......deb