flirtatwork Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Hey guys So there is this girl that I like. We met first 3 years ago when we were working at the same place. We regularly liked each other posts on facebook and instagram and have done that for 3 years. A month ago I saw a post from her on facebook that she moved to the same city as me so I decided to start talking to her. I started slowly just chitchatting. She didn't reply quickly and I didn't either. We started chatting some more, I asked for her snapchat (I make very good stories) and now we mostly chat there. She started initiating more, sending me snap of what she was doing. One night I was heading out to a concert with my friend when he tells me that he's not going to be able to make it. I thought why not, I'll ask her if she wants to join. She replied "tempting but I have night shift tonight at work" She sent me a photo of her when she was going to work so I know that she wasn't rejecting me. We keep chatting and a week passes. I bring up the idea that we should get together sometime for an ice-cream. She likes the idea and I ask her when she's free and she replies "anytime" She lives 5-10 miles away from me and I dont have a car but she does so I said "you'll drive and I'll pay for the icecream" and she liked the idea. So yesterday we were chatting and she was sending me photos of herself in the same neighbourhood where I was at that time but I was really busy on a job with an employee of mine with me on the payroll. I thought to myself "is she giving a signal that she is close by and wants me to initiate and buy her this icecream now" I really wanted to ask her but I couldn't. I sent her a photo of me busy working and she complimented me. Later that evening I say "Sooo, that icecream we were talking about, should we meet up tomorrow after dinner around 8pm and get that icecream" She replied "Maybe I'll talk to you tomorrow :)" She hasn't sent me anything today and I haven't sent her anything either, I was being stubborn because she said she would talk to me" I saw in her snapchat story that she went to the movies with her girlfriends and actually took a photo of the ticket and the movie starting 9pm. I know she doesn't need to explain that she went to the movies instead of going with me but she didn't even bother to tell me that she would not be meeting me. Can you guys tell me what you think? I was thinking of just being silent until she initiates contact. If she doesn't I'll just forget about her. But I wanted your opinions first about what you think I should do. I really want to get to know this girl better and meet her. I think I'm sure she's not meeting another guy so that's not the problem.
bathtub-row Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Uh..., in case you didn't notice, you actually did just get to know her and the result was not in the least impressive. Why on earth would you show any further interest in a girl who plays these kinds of games and who acts so self-centered? Drop her like the bad habit that she is. 1
PogoStick Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 I was thinking of just being silent until she initiates contact. If she doesn't I'll just forget about her. I think I'm sure she's not meeting another guy so that's not the problem. That's a good course of action. And another guy may not be an issue. The problem is that she isn't very interested in you, though she may be soaking up the attention you give. Only reward a woman who earns it. What has she done besides flirting and flaking? 2
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Pick up the phone call the girl and ask her out. If she gets all silly about it then just stop replying. If she asks why just tell her that you asked her out she didn't seem interested so you moved on. Simple, effective and cuts out a whole heap of crap later.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 10, 2016 Author Posted June 10, 2016 That's a good course of action. And another guy may not be an issue. The problem is that she isn't very interested in you, though she may be soaking up the attention you give. Only reward a woman who earns it. What has she done besides flirting and flaking? I dont know. With time she's been getting more receptive, answering my messages quicker and also sometimes initiates with sending snap of what she is doing and cute selfies. One night she sent me a photo of her in her bedroom with her stomach showing and wrote "love those pj's" Probably a photo you wouldn't send someone you aren't interested in? Pick up the phone call the girl and ask her out. If she gets all silly about it then just stop replying. If she asks why just tell her that you asked her out she didn't seem interested so you moved on. Simple, effective and cuts out a whole heap of crap later. I haven't asked her for her phone number yet. We haven't even met in person since we were working together three years ago. We just recently started talking again so we are more or less strangers to each other. But that is the reason why I want to meet her. I want to get to know her and see how she is in person.
PogoStick Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Probably a photo you wouldn't send someone you aren't interested in? Update us after you go on a date and kiss. I'm still putting my money on her wasting your time. How young are both of you? She's practicing her seductive skills of manipulating men.
Jabron1 Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Can you guys tell me what you think? Three years. Seriously, three years. There's long-game, and then there's just taking the mickey. Three years of investment and attention giving - for nothing. You should have moved on years ago. Wow, three years man - and she'll 'think about talking to you' SMH. The bigger question here is why haven't you lost interest sooner? Seriously mate, have a good think about it. There's something seriously wrong here. And it's not her either. She's only milking you for attention because she can. Ask yourself why that is. 1
Grapesofwrath Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 If a young woman is interested in a guy, and he asks her out for a specific time and place, she doesn't flake on him and go to the movies with her friends. Trust. She sends that message and confirms the date. She likes the attention you are giving her. She is flirting with you to get the attention, nothing more. In all likelihood, she is doing the same with others. I'd suggest you distance yourself and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
juniorrocha Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Yep, she's playing with you. When someone is interested, they wont forget and will look forward to your plans, just like you, or at least say they won't be able to; she didn't care at all. Just leave her alone, so far it doesn't seem like it's worth it.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 10, 2016 Author Posted June 10, 2016 Three years. Seriously, three years. There's long-game, and then there's just taking the mickey. Three years of investment and attention giving - for nothing. You should have moved on years ago. Wow, three years man - and she'll 'think about talking to you' SMH. The bigger question here is why haven't you lost interest sooner? Seriously mate, have a good think about it. There's something seriously wrong here. And it's not her either. She's only milking you for attention because she can. Ask yourself why that is. I met her flrst three years ago. We didn't talk or anything until I found out she moved to the same city as me. I've only been talking to her for a month.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 10, 2016 Author Posted June 10, 2016 Update us after you go on a date and kiss. I'm still putting my money on her wasting your time. How young are both of you? She's practicing her seductive skills of manipulating men. 24(M) 23(F) She hasn't contacted me at all since she said she would talk to me tomorrow. I haven't tried to contact her either. I'm thinking, what if she does contact me? There is a music festival next week that I'm going to and she asked me the other day if I was going. I said yes and asked her if she's going and she said she's thinking about it. I'm not going to contact her. But I'm wondering how I should react if she does contact me.
Jabron1 Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 I met her flrst three years ago. We didn't talk or anything until I found out she moved to the same city as me. I've only been talking to her for a month. I dunno, mate: We regularly liked each other posts on facebook and instagram and have done that for 3 years. It sounds like you've been messing around for three years. At this point, she should be very willing to commit to a date with you. It all sounds like a huge waste of time to me. Go by results. You've had nothing to show for all of this - not even a date. If you aren't going to value your time, why should she? 1
Author flirtatwork Posted June 10, 2016 Author Posted June 10, 2016 I dunno, mate: It sounds like you've been messing around for three years. At this point, she should be very willing to commit to a date with you. It all sounds like a huge waste of time to me. Go by results. You've had nothing to show for all of this - not even a date. If you aren't going to value your time, why should she? Yeah you're right. That's why I'm not going to initiate further contact. And that's also why I'm wondering how I should react if she decides to contact me. SNAPCHAT. Enough said. What's wrong with using snapchat?
Grapesofwrath Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 If she contacts you again, a quick response from you is not required. It is not written anywhere that one must respond, at least not immediately, to every text, chat, or message. If she reaches out again, let it sit for a while. Do not make someone a priority who treats you only as an option.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 10, 2016 Author Posted June 10, 2016 If she contacts you again, a quick response from you is not required. It is not written anywhere that one must respond, at least not immediately, to every text, chat, or message. If she reaches out again, let it sit for a while. Do not make someone a priority who treats you only as an option. Thank you for your input in this thread. I'll let it sit for a while if she reaches out. 1
PogoStick Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 We're not being mean. Just trying to protect you from someone who seems to be taking your interest for granted. We could be wrong, and if the right opportunity comes then jump on it. All of us older guys have had it happen many times too. It sucks when you put in so much time and effort, and get so excited that she seems to be interested, only to have it never go anywhere. As I've gotten older (experienced) I just don't have time for that. If a girl doesn't step up quickly and meet MY expectations then I'm moving on to the next one. A woman should be excited and appreciative to receive the attention of a nice young man like you.
joseb Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 (edited) I dunno, mate: It sounds like you've been messing around for three years. At this point, she should be very willing to commit to a date with you. It all sounds like a huge waste of time to me. Go by results. You've had nothing to show for all of this - not even a date. If you aren't going to value your time, why should she? Yip, you are way way too invested in something that doesn't exist. To you, you see a potential relationship, to her she sees another snapchat voyeur to stoke her ego. What's wrong with using snapchat? What's wrong with snapchat? A lot of things. I don't want to sound like a techno phobe, the world is changing and like it or not these kind of apps are here to stay in one form or another, but they are not an indication of real interest and they are not the bets ways of asking people out. And people that use snapchat a lot seem pretty....vacuous. Even had a date snapchating the food we ordered to her orbiters. I ended the date PDQ after that. Edited June 11, 2016 by joseb
FoxDie Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Snapchat is just plain dumb. A girl actually tried to have a conversation with me on that thing. WTF is the world coming to? Just call me! Or at least text! What's with all the annoying ways to contact people? And ignore her! That's your greatest weapon now! Ignoring! Girls hate that stuff! And if she really cares then she'll act upon it. But yes, ignore her man.
Jabron1 Posted June 11, 2016 Posted June 11, 2016 Listen to everyone; they're speaking good sense. Yeah you're right. That's why I'm not going to initiate further contact. And that's also why I'm wondering how I should react if she decides to contact me. At the point you are at, I would make her come to me. And I would be done making an effort. The truth is that you should have a more demanding attitude. You should feel a bit more entitled. I would have expected her to flake on the movie with her friends for me, or I would have expected to see her afterwards. An interested girl does that. You need to stop giving her any more attention until you get some action. If she contacts you, just take it straight to something productive. She'll either go with it, or drop off. It's win win. You either finally get laid after three years (moving things in that direction at least), or you get rid of someone that just wants to leech off of your energy. To be honest with you, I think your chances of ever getting laid with this girl are pretty slim - based on what you've said.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 11, 2016 Author Posted June 11, 2016 Listen to everyone; they're speaking good sense. At the point you are at, I would make her come to me. And I would be done making an effort. The truth is that you should have a more demanding attitude. You should feel a bit more entitled. I would have expected her to flake on the movie with her friends for me, or I would have expected to see her afterwards. An interested girl does that. You need to stop giving her any more attention until you get some action. If she contacts you, just take it straight to something productive. She'll either go with it, or drop off. It's win win. You either finally get laid after three years (moving things in that direction at least), or you get rid of someone that just wants to leech off of your energy. To be honest with you, I think your chances of ever getting laid with this girl are pretty slim - based on what you've said. What would you define as productive?
Jabron1 Posted June 12, 2016 Posted June 12, 2016 What would you define as productive? Meeting in the flesh on a date and kissing her would be a start. Be more results oriented.
Stage5Clinger Posted June 12, 2016 Posted June 12, 2016 What's wrong with using snapchat? It's meaningless in every way. She dogged you bro. "Maybe"... then out with the girls without even a word. Makes me want to vomit for you. Girls like this are narcissistic, self-centered, and just disrespectful. You need to drop her from your snappychat, block her phone number, delete her off facebook, and if you even see her on the street you don't know the bitch. She probably moved out there for some other guy but she would rather string you along until that works out just in case her car breaks down or needs to borrow some money. She suckkkksssss quit wasting your bloody time.
Author flirtatwork Posted June 12, 2016 Author Posted June 12, 2016 She reached out. She sent a photo of herself eating a cherry saying "if I start I cant stop" and an emoji that said "lets go eat!" I still haven't sent her anything like everyone was recommending me to do nor have I replied to this snap she sent me an hour ago. I decided I would ask you guys what I should do. Should I keep the cool not sending or saying anything or should I reply to this message? Should I ask her about her not letting me know about out icecream date?
Jabron1 Posted June 12, 2016 Posted June 12, 2016 She reached out. She sent a photo of herself eating a cherry saying "if I start I cant stop" and an emoji that said "lets go eat!" I still haven't sent her anything like everyone was recommending me to do nor have I replied to this snap she sent me an hour ago. I decided I would ask you guys what I should do. Should I keep the cool not sending or saying anything or should I reply to this message? Should I ask her about her not letting me know about out icecream date? Reply, and take the convo to a date invite. Don't mention the past. If she's pissed you off that much, just don't reply IMO.
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