eleina833 Posted June 9, 2016 Posted June 9, 2016 Hi there, Just want to write about my situation and may be get some advice.. I'm a young woman with decent looks, and have an older husband. we got a 3 years old child. I'm not native to this country, but I'm a citizen. We had pretty good relationship before but now it is falling apart. I used to be engaged in modeling and school, but after our child was born I'm constantly home with her. He works, but the money he makes he never spends on me. Food, apt and his car - sometimes a toy for our daughter. We have no sex life and I think the problem is him getting old. I've been stupid enough to let him use my credit when my daughter was born and he had no job and we lived off my credit. Then he decided he can't pay it off and let it go. He doesn't want my daughter to go to a kindergarten ("kids get sick there", + it costs a lot in the state we live in, + he is against vaccinations). I love my daughter to pieces but I really want to start my social life - work, study.. But I have no idea how to move on with this. When we fight he is saying sometimes that we are so different and need to go separate ways, and I really want to say - YES PLEASE, but I am usually leave this without commenting, as I'm scared to end up with no means for living. But I know this can not go forever and we have to split up. I've been trying to make it work, because I'm against separation "just because", but he is just too hard on me. I know I'm a pretty woman (still modeling when I have a chance), but he keeps criticizing EVERYTHING about me and the way I do things, It is really getting to the point that I'm done. Obviously he is the one working, but he never gives me a cent for my needs. I never ask, and he thinks I don't need it I guess. My spending money - is $50 some a month I'm making selling my crafts. I have been focusing on good in him and our situation for quite some time trying to convince myself this will work, but it is not always working. He says I don't appreciate things when I voice my needs - and I honestly do - we had good moments, but I think the negative parts are over-weighting the good. He loves our daughter but very rarely spends time with her one on one. He has such a character that everything is a problem for him. So I'm really worrying this divorce may become a nightmare. I know I need to educate myself on the legal part - but don't know where to start (obviously I have no money for a legal help). I have no idea how to go ahead with this. I'll appreciate your advice..
Mr. Lucky Posted June 9, 2016 Posted June 9, 2016 An initial consultation with many attorneys is free. That feedback alone might give some clarification and momentum going forward. You might also try the Legal Aid Society: Legal-Aid The first step is understanding what you can do... Mr. Lucky
Escobar95 Posted June 9, 2016 Posted June 9, 2016 Hi, OP you didn't list your ages? or how long use have been married for? I read your thread right now and woooooooow your husband is really ungrateful, i will list helpful tips 1.you can encourage him and visit a relationship counselor 2. start exercising together (it reduces stress and anger) 3. change your life styles go do things you never done before. I hope things work-out but if he keeps up this type of act he sure doesn't deserve you. - Sometimes you need to walk away, not to make someone else realize how worthy you are. But for you to understand and acknowledge your own self-worth.
Author eleina833 Posted June 9, 2016 Author Posted June 9, 2016 (edited) Thank you for your replies. I'm almost 30 and he is 20 years older than me. He is not into fitness, but I'm exercising a few times a week (at home of course). I don't think people change at his age, and just start do new things. It's just the matter of a few months until we get separate I think as we have no connection at all. Moreover, I'm scared to talk to him about things I enjoy because he starts mocking it or critisizes the way I'm doing something. It is rarely that we both enjoy us being together. I think when he has days off he enjoys when we leave for a walk with the baby, and I enjoy when he leaves for work so no one says bad stuff about me.. Edited June 9, 2016 by eleina833 Mistake
Angelica21 Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 Your husband definitely has personality and attitude problems, and possibly even a personality disorder. He is wrong, and you are right. Go to see a family law attorney (or several) for a free initial consultation to ask any questions, and also find out what it will cost for the attorney to represent you. The money that your husband earns is also your money, it is "marital" money and he can be legally forced to pay for your attorney. Hire an attorney and file for divorce immediately.
eliteco3 Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 You need to file for divorce and stand on your own feet. There is no need to let him belittle you when you mothered his child. Stay strong and have confidence in yourself to make it without him.
unrequitedluv Posted June 13, 2016 Posted June 13, 2016 Thank you for your replies. I'm almost 30 and he is 20 years older than me. He is not into fitness, but I'm exercising a few times a week (at home of course). I don't think people change at his age, and just start do new things. It's just the matter of a few months until we get separate I think as we have no connection at all. Moreover, I'm scared to talk to him about things I enjoy because he starts mocking it or criticizes the way I'm doing something. It is rarely that we both enjoy us being together. I think when he has days off he enjoys when we leave for a walk with the baby, and I enjoy when he leaves for work so no one says bad stuff about me.. hi dear, it seems that you are already a foot out. i agree that you should seek legal advice and maybe try to get some help and support from your family. The way u say he does not support you nor encourage you. You felt bad and sad being with him. You are still young. Thus I agree that you should separate with him while still possible.
Recommended Posts