Chatmonkey Posted June 9, 2016 Posted June 9, 2016 So my girlfriend and I of 7 months have a great relationship. Everything is going very well, so well in fact I didn't think this type of supportive relationship existed She is 19 and I am 23 - Yes we are young! Cutting to the chase: We spend a lot of time together and we enjoy doing a lot of activities together. Sometimes however (not often), I want to catch up with a guy friend alone. When she says similar things to me regarding her friend, i say "yep, no problem. Go for it" straight away. No issues. But when I say I want to, she gets kind of offended that I dont want her to come. She wants to why I want to go with just me and him and I need to explain the reasons to her. Today it happened and I havent seen this particular friend in about 5 years due to the friendship ending badly. It was largely my fault and I am embarrassed about it and didnt want to explain why I didnt want her there. Is it unfair to ask for similar treatment? She understands that I can have time alone with a friend without her, but why do I have to explain it? Why can't she just be like me and say "no problem! go have fun" Am I being stupid? Are girls just different in this way?
californiablonde Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 First I am going to ask a couple of questions. Are their any trust issues on her end like say she has been cheated on in the past? Or is their any reason she may have to question if you are telling the truth when you say you are going out with a friend? Is she the jealous type? Assuming the answer is no to these questions I wouldn't say you are wrong but people definitely operate differently. For all you know she may be even bothered that sometimes you are not more persistent in trying to tag along when she goes out with friends. Kind of like she wants you to fight/prove how much you want to spend time with her.Again this may or may not be true. But this is a different issue. I think it just comes down to fact that she doesn't want to be left out of the loop. She probably wants to know why you want to go out for one of two reasons.1) She is insecure because for some reason she feels that you wanting to spend time with friends might be signs of losing interest in her. 2) She is just really curious/nosey/ trying to incorporate herself into everything you do and wants to know whats going on with you . However, I am going to assume if most likely the former not the latter. I think that she is sensitive and since you do spend so much time together its hard for to understand why you need guy time. She might feel sad that you do not want to include her in everything you do. Which is not a reflection on you but an insecurity within herself. Thats why she its a bigger deal to her than it is to you. I do not think its unreasonable to want the same thing you give her, however, I do not think see she things the way you do. I bet you she does't think twice about giving you the third degree so to speak and you just freely letting her do her thing. Either you can address it with her and see if things change. Or next time you can take an offensive measure and say I'm going out with so and so for this reason and see if she doesn't question you anymore. Maybe if you proffer the information she might be less compelled to ask you for more information.
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