Chatmonkey Posted June 9, 2016 Posted June 9, 2016 So my girlfriend and I of 7 months have a great relationship. Everything is going very well, so well in fact I didn't think this type of supportive relationship existed She is 19 and I am 23 - Yes we are young! Cutting to the chase: We spend a lot of time together and we enjoy doing a lot of activities together. Sometimes however (not often), I want to catch up with a guy friend alone. When she says similar things to me regarding her friend, i say "yep, no problem. Go for it" straight away. No issues. But when I say I want to, she gets kind of offended that I dont want her to come. She wants to why I want to go with just me and him and I need to explain the reasons to her. Today it happened and I havent seen this particular friend in about 5 years due to the friendship ending badly. It was largely my fault and I am embarrassed about it and didnt want to explain why I didnt want her there. Is it unfair to ask for similar treatment? She understands that I can have time alone with a friend without her, but why do I have to explain it? Why can't she just be like me and say "no problem! go have fun" Am I being stupid? Are girls just different in this way?
Gloria25 Posted June 9, 2016 Posted June 9, 2016 Chris Rock had a skit/joke where he was talking about never letting a woman know how much of a good time you had without her. Like if you went to a baseball game with the guys, tell her "Aww, it was ok", instead of "Oh, man it was great!!!" Unfortunately, some women are where the statement of 'Ball and chain' came from. They want your only sense of happiness to come from them and them only. They are insecure and controlling. Then, if it's not an issue of an insecure and controlling women, you just have a woman who thinks men "communicate" like women do. In other words, she wants you to have an hour long convo with her about brushing your teeth. See, we women can turn brushing our hair into an hour long narrative. So, when you simply say "I'm going out with Bob", she expects a detailed report on everything you did. So, IMO, you got an issue here cuz either she's a controlling and insecure woman...or, she's one of those women who doesn't understand and/or respect the difference between the sexes (i.e. men don't communicate like women do). So, you can sit her down and try to explain to her the difference between how men/women communicate and see if she "gets it". But, if the issue is not of communication styles, then do you really want a controlling woman who wants you to have no life outside of "her" - while she gets "girl time"? IMO, healthy relationships - even married people - are when the parties have interests outside of each other. And no, I'm not talking about you hitting the bars after work every day with the guys. I'm talking about what you pretty much said - which is, if Bob calls you up to shoot hoops your woman can pat you on the back and say "enjoy" without having to grill you pre/post shooting hoops, as if you're her child. Yes, it's good when people can share their activities without their SO over the dinner table and stuff...it keeps the RL fresh. But, to grill each other as if your SO has to "report" to you is ridiculous, IMO. 1
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