truoc1219 Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 So I was talking to this guy for over month long distance (march 2016). We planned on seeing each other Memorial Day weekend (may 2016) However, in April, while we still had a month until we met back up, he told me I should visit him at his school (he was about to graduate). I agreed and flew to see him (big mistake, I know -_-) We both couldnt wait another month. While visiting him, everything went great. Here was the downside, though. He wasnt able to get an erection. He also couldnt get an erection when I first hooked up with him back in March, but he blamed it on the alcohol. So this was the second encounter with him and his erection issue. However, this did not bother me that much since it wasnt just the sex I was interested in. He felt so embarrassed and repeadily told me it wasnt because he wasnt attracted to me, and I believed him. I didnt doubt his attraction to me. After 3 days visiting him, he was only able to keep an erection once so I've only slept with him 1 time and it was actually really really good. Anyway, after 3 days spend with him, we went back to our daily lives. We would text every now and then that week and then all the sudden he just STOPS TALKING TO ME. Out of nowhere. I was so taken aback because I thought we had something good going regardless of the sex. I figured he just needed time so I never reached out. After 2 weeks however I knew I wasnt going to hear from him again. I was hurt and felt played. I was upset too because I wanted to give him a chance because I really liked him. I was left so confused. Was it because he was just not feeling it? Or was he that embarrassed because of his situation? What do you guys think?
SugarLips72 Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 I suspect he perhaps has lost interest but who knows why. It was likely nothing you did. This is a long distance relationship so perhaps he thought it would take too much effort to make it work, or he met someone else. I know its hard but I would delete his number from your phone and stop contacting him.
mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 He lost interest in you, or he talked himself into loosing interest in you because of the long distance. Does it have to do with the ED you talked about? It might, but I wouldn't spend a lot of time stressing about it. It's painful, I know, but you have to move on. You have no choice but to.
Tressugar Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 I hate to be negative, but I've seen and experience way too many times. He got what he wanted and now he's done. That's what men do. Regardless he could have been talking to you for three months. That type of man would have done the same thing. It doesn't matter how long or less you communicate with a person. It's the person's character that will determine how he'll treat you. 1
Larryville Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 We would text every now and then that week and then all the sudden he just STOPS TALKING TO ME. Out of nowhere. I was so taken aback because I thought we had something good going regardless of the sex. I figured he just needed time so I never reached out. After 2 weeks however I knew I wasnt going to hear from him again. I was hurt and felt played. I was upset too because I wanted to give him a chance because I really liked him. You know I have slowly evolved to newer thinking and a better understanding of “ghosting.” I had never really experienced it until very recently, I mean in the last several months or so. It is really weird, I thought this was primarily a “younger person” issue, simply bore out of immaturity (age) and I could have not been more wrong. Just in the last couple of months alone via OLD (3 women, all initially contacted me) , struck up a site conversation , emailed, phone conversation and met…. All more than once. While I fundamentally know that the initial encounters are not written in stone all were positive but slow dissolved and eventually all ghosted. It is one thing if someone just simply says I don’t think we are suited or something similar but ghosting is becoming more common and I am not sure why. I don’t necessarily know if I would have exactly wanted a relationship with any of these people but I did like them all and was attracted to each and all seemingly were nice, open people. Someone said: It's the person's character that will determine how he'll treat you. Is ghosting a character issue? IDK I am reading more and more stories about this as if this is a spreading disease and I will admit it bothers me now to the point where I am much more distant and far less open in my own initial communication. The article below did hit on some things. As OP stated I felt “played” I would rather simply be rejected. The article also touches on something else I keep reading: Serial ghosters are truly just super insecure people. I feel ya OP I Am A Serial Ghoster And I Hate Myself As Much As You Do I Am A Serial Ghoster And I Hate Myself As Much As You Do | Thought Catalog
Gaeta Posted June 10, 2016 Posted June 10, 2016 Yes it is 100% related to his ED. Men put a lot of value in their performance and the ability to pleasure the ladies. Not being able to perform stripped him of all his male pride. Each time he talks to you he is reminded of what a weak man he is and how he couldn't perform. It's embarrassing for him to continue with you. Let him go, it's not something you can fix.
Larryville Posted June 14, 2016 Posted June 14, 2016 A thread I read here today (Monday) mentioned this and I am spacing where I saw it. A number of people have started threads talking about this exact issue well apparently there is an official term. Here’s the next dating trend that will piss you off https://thetruth24.info/2016/06/13/heres-the-next-dating-trend-that-will-piss-you-off/ No doubt you’ve heard the term “ghosting” — slang for when someone you’re seeing just disappears into thin air. It’s happened to most of us, and it ain’t cool. And now, there’s a word to explain another dating trend perpetuated by the maturity-impaired: benching. According to New York magazine, benching is when someone will text you enough to stay on your radar, but they don’t actually make concrete plans to see you again. Basically, they’re not that into you, but aren’t so not into you that they want to ditch you entirely. Real cool.
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