toastytiger Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 I came across these readings the other day and found it helpful. Sharing in case it helps anyone else! "Listen buddy, if one person doesn't want the relationship, then it's simply not a fit. No sense trying to figure out why they don't want to. No sense blaming it on their commitment issues. No sense waiting around for them to realize they wanted it after all. Because it doesn't matter why they don't want it. What matters is that you are met heart-on by a fully engaged partner. If they don't want it, then you don't want it, because you don't want to be with someone who isn't there for it fully. That's the thing about love relationships -- it's an agreement that has to be signed by both souls. If one doesn't sign, then nothing has been lost. If it's not a fit for them, it's not a fit for you either." and another one... "It's hard to let go when we don't know why they're gone. It's natural to want an explanation, an understanding, something that puts their leaving into perspective. It's hard to move on when there is nothing but silence, or worse, a strangely formal way of relating, as though you made the whole thing up. But we can't put our lives on hold, waiting for an answer that may never come. Maybe they will tell us one day, or maybe they will never understand it themselves. It isn't that important. What is important is that we don't abandon ourselves in the heart of loss. That we don't make another's presence more important than our own. That we don't lock ourselves in a prison of our own making, waiting for an external liberator to set us free. If they have left, we have to leave too. We have to let the pain through the holes they left behind so it can find its ultimate destination. Because we have so much left to do. Our precious life waits on no one." And one more "Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through. Sometimes they run away because they are not developmentally prepared to merge with another- they have more individuation work to do first. Sometimes they take off because love is not a priority in their lives- they have another path and purpose to walk first. Sometimes they end it because they prefer a relationship that is more practical than conscious, one that does not threaten the ways that they organize reality. Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love's leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don't- they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is no easy path- readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover." 1
AcceptThePresent Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 Thank you for posting these quotes. These gentle reminders to let go hit the spot on a challenging day. 1
whatnot Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) That first one hit me big time today... "Why would anyone want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with them?" If I could be with my ex right now....no...don't want to. Miss her? I miss the company/comfort she provided. She's becoming an "abstraction". :-) But I do still miss her sometimes. It comes in waves. I really don't feel like I want to be with any woman right now. The thought of talking/communicating with her makes me anxious. I don't like anxiety anymore. I do remember liking her voice and the way she talks. I just can't really remember exactly how it sounded. Yeah...i still miss her LOL Edited June 7, 2016 by whatnot 1
urmysong Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 I still want to be with him even if he broke up with me. Even if he hurts me. I always wanted to force him to come back to me but now I have to accept the fact that it is impossible. I have to understand that it is not simply work like that. So I should have let go of my feelings for him cause I am just hurting myself more. If it is meant to be, then I don't have to force anything that it truly meant to be. Life must go on. 1
Author toastytiger Posted June 7, 2016 Author Posted June 7, 2016 I still want to be with him even if he broke up with me. Even if he hurts me. I always wanted to force him to come back to me but now I have to accept the fact that it is impossible. I have to understand that it is not simply work like that. So I should have let go of my feelings for him cause I am just hurting myself more. If it is meant to be, then I don't have to force anything that it truly meant to be. Life must go on. Yes, and when you finally "give up" and "release control", it can be so liberating! If it's meant to be, it will. You can still have whatever feelings you have, but accept you cannot control the situation. Trusting the process can lift a lot weight, the weight of resistance and the all the extra energy it takes trying to force things to be different. 1
Giggles666 Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 "Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through." I experienced this, and it sucks...nothing I could do except accept it. I would rather they hated me.
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