Girlwithquestions Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 Why do exes apologize? Over 6-7 months ago, I dated a guy I actually really liked(can't really call him an ex). He was the one that initiated our introduction but then quickly ghosted. Then kinda lingered in and out for a few months. Then basically gave me some line about how he was going through stuff and that we would talk soon and vanished. Somewhere in there, he wanted a physical relationship but I pretty much declined which probably caused further ghosting. Anyway, the other day he sends me some message saying he owes me an apology and that he was going through some stuff that he just put behind him recently(never did explain what kinda stuff). Apologizes for hurting me and makes a small joke about some inside joke we had and wishes me a happy month. This apology comes like 6-7 months later after ghosting. Why? What is the point of even sending me that apology? Why even send me that? I don't understand. 1
privategal Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 Why do exes apologize? Over 6-7 months ago, I dated a guy I actually really liked(can't really call him an ex). He was the one that initiated our introduction but then quickly ghosted. Then kinda lingered in and out for a few months. Then basically gave me some line about how he was going through stuff and that we would talk soon and vanished. Somewhere in there, he wanted a physical relationship but I pretty much declined which probably caused further ghosting. Anyway, the other day he sends me some message saying he owes me an apology and that he was going through some stuff that he just put behind him recently(never did explain what kinda stuff). Apologizes for hurting me and makes a small joke about some inside joke we had and wishes me a happy month. This apology comes like 6-7 months later after ghosting. Why? What is the point of even sending me that apology? Why even send me that? I don't understand. Dont give him a chance to do it again. His track record with you is no good. He probably is out of a breakup and wants to see what girls in his contact list will pay him some needed attention. You werent even close so no need to even reply. Ignore him. 2
Zahara Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 I have a feeling he vanished because he was in a relationship or maybe bouncing in and out of it. It's probably over and he's now sniffing to see what options are available. Hoping to see if anyone will bite the bait. The apology is just an ice breaker. Nothing more. If he had any integrity, he would not have 1) treated you that way 2) waited 7 months to apologize. 2
LD1990 Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 He wants to have sex with you. He didn't suddenly grow a conscience, this is him seeing which girls he knows may be down for a roll in the hay. 3
Author Girlwithquestions Posted June 7, 2016 Author Posted June 7, 2016 Urgh yeah, here I just thought he just felt guilty. My friend had given me the advice to just be the bigger and mature person and reply civilly, because it makes you appear graceful. So I did and just said its fine and wished him well and was glad he got over any problems, etc. He replied with a thanks and some stupid emoji. I guess his closed ended answer of "thanks" means he really just was apologizing and didn't want to pursue anything more. Which kind of sucks, because I know it's petty but I would have loved the satisfaction of him crawling back. Especially after how bad I had felt when he cold blew me off in front of all my friends. It still feels so unfair in a way to be the mature person. He treated me like a jerk, apologizes and I forgive him and he walks away feeling absolved of any guilt. If I had just ignored his apology, I feel like I would have looked so bitter and hung up on him still. I know I may sound silly, I think I'm just venting. 2
Satu Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 snip I know I may sound silly, I think I'm just venting. You don't sound silly at all. You sound decent and kind. Block him. Take care. 2
Giggles666 Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) I am on month 3 of not apologizing to someone I dated. Maybe it's my situation, but I have tried multiple times and she blows me off so I have not had the chance. My situation though is I was good friends with her for 15 years, I know we will never date again or be friends like we were. I honestly need to do what I think is right, I owe her an apology for some things I said in a fight. I also understand she does not want to hear it, maybe in the future maybe not. LOL so it might take me more than 6 to 7 months. Your situation sounds a bit different. I don't think there is anything wrong with allowing him to apologize if you are willing to listen, however, you are not obligated to forgive him or accept the apology. You would know better than us, it may be he has some sort of agenda, or perhaps he truly is someone who likes to apologize when he wrongs someone. I assume he has had a chance to apologize prior but waited this long? Edited June 7, 2016 by Giggles666
Author Girlwithquestions Posted June 7, 2016 Author Posted June 7, 2016 Yeah we have been friends on Facebook since, he has had plenty of opportunities to contact me and apologize. I don't think he seems like a good person like you do. He probably just wanted an ego feed like everyone is saying. Thanks guys.
PegNosePete Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 Why on earth would you be friends on facebook with someone like that?
Zahara Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 Yeah we have been friends on Facebook since, he has had plenty of opportunities to contact me and apologize. I don't think he seems like a good person like you do. He probably just wanted an ego feed like everyone is saying. Thanks guys. Why would you be friends with someone that treated you poorly? It's no wonder he came sniffing around. He senses the lack of boundaries.
Author Girlwithquestions Posted June 7, 2016 Author Posted June 7, 2016 I don't know, I guess I didn't think much of it. He friended me when we first started talking and I just don't unfriend anyone in general. I never really have. No one I know does. I don't use my Facebook that much so I guess it never occurred to me to unfriend him.
Recommended Posts