Is it normal that my girlfriend wants me to text her every 10mins even during work?

[Gommario007]

My girlfriend (9 months) demands to text her before every work meeting, business meating etc. basically she wants to text her 24/7 (we are texting during work etc) She wants me to text her all the time even at work where I from the nature of working I must work... She made huge huge huge scene that I don't text her regullary (meaning: every 10 minutes at work) so she doenst believe me that I work. I can work at home but it is work where I need to focus a lot on details so I can't be on phone 24/7. And when I work home she doesn't believe me that I work she thinks that I am doing something else.

What should I do? Terapist for me or her or what?

[RecentChange]

No, not normal or acceptable.

 

She sounds like a control freak who doesn't trust you at all.

 

Most employers would not tolerate constant texting like this.

 

Yes - Therapy, for YOU! To find out why you allow yourself to be manipulated by such a controlling person, and why you accept this sort of out of line treatment.

[Gaeta]

Tell her tomorrow morning you will quit your job so you can text her all day long.

 

No it's not normal, she is a nut case. As above poster said yes you need therapy to understand why you date such a control freak.

[joseb]

NO. It's ridiculous.

 

If you keep this up you will eventually get in trouble at work. People notice such obvious time-wasting.

If I was your boss I'd have had a word with you already, and if it kept up, issued you a warning.

 

What is she like in the rest of your relationship?

[preraph]

She's controlling and very insecure, and you can't live like that. She will ruin every job opportunity you have by intruding. You need to just leave her. She can't change without some years of therapy.

[losangelena]

Lol, umm, no.

[Fleur de cactus]

No , it is not normal...

[basil67]

No, it's not normal.

 

Her requests need to be met with a point blank: "I cannot do conversational texts while I'm working". Of course, it's reasonable for her to send a quick Q&A like "what time are we doing X tonight?", but no random check ins.

 

If she's not OK with this, tell her she has to either take it or leave it. But make sure to enforce your appropriate workplace boundaries.

 

As for her not believing that you're working at home, all you can do is say "Well, you can believe what you want. But I am not having this conversation with you again.

[bathtub-row]

I'm trying to figure out why you're putting up with this nonsense. Her demands are completely ridiculous.

Edited June 7, 2016 by bathtub-row

[Buddhist]

Does your GF live in a large institutional building, with people in white coats who feed her pills on schedule for her own protection?

[JustGettingBy]

My question is: What does she do all day that lets her communicate from you every 5 minutes?

[bathtub-row]

Gonna go against the grain a bit here and say that while this behavior is rather annoying at times, it isn't exactly out of the ordinary. I have met plenty of women that start texting good morning, want to text all day, and then cap the night off with a god night text. Enough women do this that I would not call it strange.

 

Whether a lot of women do this or not, it's completely unacceptable and highly immature. This is the behavior of a very mentally disturbed person.

[Gommario007]

We have arguments on daily basis, she is easily offended and this leads to another arguments.

 

NO. It's ridiculous.

 

If you keep this up you will eventually get in trouble at work. People notice such obvious time-wasting.

If I was your boss I'd have had a word with you already, and if it kept up, issued you a warning.

 

What is she like in the rest of your relationship?

[Gommario007]

Nothing... She is at home

 

My question is: What does she do all day that lets her communicate from you every 5 minutes?

[Gommario007]

Yes, but.. They were probably understanding that you cant text her during business meeting or when you have video conference.

 

Gonna go against the grain a bit here and say that while this behavior is rather annoying at times, it isn't exactly out of the ordinary. I have met plenty of women that start texting good morning, want to text all day, and then cap the night off with a god night text. Enough women do this that I would not call it strange.

[joseb]

OP, I think you already know she is being a bit ridiculous.

The question is, what are you going to do about it?

 

It doesn't sound like she is a Great catch from how you describe the relationship. Is there a reason you are putting up with it?

[joseb]

Gonna go against the grain a bit here and say that while this behavior is rather annoying at times, it isn't exactly out of the ordinary. I have met plenty of women that start texting good morning, want to text all day, and then cap the night off with a god night text. Enough women do this that I would not call it strange.

 

I think she is a bit extreme. But I take your point. There is an increasing amount if this silly behaviour amount women. And im sure some guys are guilty too.

[PrettyEmily77]

Nothing... She is at home

 

That's the problem right here. She is bored out of her skull and you're her only distraction. She needs to be doing something productive with her day and you need to stop entertaining this habit.

 

The only people I know who do that kind of stuff to a partner are usually insecure or killing time.

 

I don't think that alone warrants you kicking her to the curb though, so if you like her enough, tell her straight and see if she changes.

[Emilia]

Yes, but.. They were probably understanding that you cant text her during business meeting or when you have video conference.

The thing is OP, people who put up with needy behaviour are just as needy themselves. Like seeks out like.

 

Clearly you have rubbish boundaries if you are with someone that you fight with daily and from whom you tolerate demands that put burden on you.

 

It really isn't that far from the definition of a doormat.

[Gommario007]

After one scene where I needed something for me really really important for school so I told her that I MUST learn othewise I wont finish my school when she wanted to visit one store with candy and this kind of stuff. She told me that its over telling me "2hour will kill you to go there with me"? I told her she should go I will learn in meantime..

 

After that she kicked me out of her house and when I was driving home she called me... she had major major troubles to breathe and had some kind of panic attact, she couldnt say anything and she was only crying. Then she told me that she DOESNT WANT TO BE THERE anymore, I didnt go home and immediately turned my car back to hers. When I arrived she was sitting on the floor holding hammer and crying. She got better with breating after 10 minutes I was with her.

 

I will probably leave her but I dont want her to get harmed or ..... you know..

[PrettyEmily77]

After one scene where I needed something for me really really important for school so I told her that I MUST learn othewise I wont finish my school when she wanted to visit one store with candy and this kind of stuff. She told me that its over telling me "2hour will kill you to go there with me"? I told her she should go I will learn in meantime..

 

After that she kicked me out of her house and when I was driving home she called me... she had major major troubles to breathe and had some kind of panic attact, she couldnt say anything and she was only crying. Then she told me that she DOESNT WANT TO BE THERE anymore, I didnt go home and immediately turned my car back to hers. When I arrived she was sitting on the floor holding hammer and crying. She got better with breating after 10 minutes I was with her.

 

I will probably leave her but I dont want her to get harmed or ..... you know..

 

That problem is much bigger than you (or us), OP.

 

Talk to someone who knows her asap (a family member of hers / mutual friend / the police even) and get yourself out of this very unhealthy situation.

[Art_Critic]

When I arrived she was sitting on the floor holding hammer and crying.

 

What was she holding the hammer for ?

[stillafool]

My girlfriend (9 months) demands to text her before every work meeting, business meating etc. basically she wants to text her 24/7 (we are texting during work etc) She wants me to text her all the time even at work where I from the nature of working I must work... She made huge huge huge scene that I don't text her regullary (meaning: every 10 minutes at work) so she doenst believe me that I work. I can work at home but it is work where I need to focus a lot on details so I can't be on phone 24/7. And when I work home she doesn't believe me that I work she thinks that I am doing something else.

What should I do? Terapist for me or her or what?

 

I would go out of my mind if I were you. What on earth does someone have to say every 10 minutes, or every hour for that matter? Does she work? Does she have anything going on in her life besides a phone?

[stillafool]

Nothing... She is at home

 

Why isn't she in school or working, hard?

[Buddhist]

Why isn't she in school or working, hard?

 

Because evidently she issues that preclude her from being a functioning member of society. The post a few posts back describe her as having a near mental breakdown and a panic attack because he wouldn't take her to a candy story. I mean she either has the mentally (not just the emotional maturity, but the actual mentality) of a small child, or there are boxes of medication at home that she's failing to take.

 

I'm hard pressed to understand how he managed to meet let alone date and get into an actual relationship with someone on this level of functioning. If she hasn't got a certifiable condition then she's a career manipulator to put on an act like this.

Edited June 9, 2016 by Buddhist