Cooper04 Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 My ex broke up with me a little over 3 months ago. Broke NC after 5 weeks, met up with her, had an honest talk and moved on. Or so I thought. Been feeling so much better after that, started dating again and have for the last few weeks been seeing a girl regularly. Still thought about my ex from time to time, but haven't felt the sadness or longing. But on sunday I realized that was going nowhere. She wasn't right for me, and this led me to think a lot about my ex, and how wonderful and perfect she was. (I'm pretty sure she wasn't, I can remember not being entirely happy in the relationship, but for some reason I can only remember the good things now..) Just like I was her rebound, this latest girl was my rebound. I was driving home late last night, thinking about her when I saw her. In a park with some guy. Clearly on a date. I can't get over how fantastic she looked. Radiant, absolutely beaming, with the widest smile on her face. So happy. And in love. And it's killing me. I guess the combination of her being on my mind just as I spotted her has overwhelmed me. Feel like I'm back to day one after the BU. Couldn't sleep at all last night, been walking around in a haze all day. Just want to sit down and cry. I cannot believe she still has this hold on me, this power over me! I can't get past this idea that I'll never find someone as beautiful, as smart, as funny, as sexy, as perfect as her. I never thought I loved her when I was with her, yet somehow, now that she's gone, I've convinced myself that I do. I don't really have any questions, nor am I asking for any advice (Though they are welcome if you have them). Just needed to moan and get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.
gaig Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 this led me to think a lot about my ex, and how wonderful and perfect she was If you had a substantial relationship, she will feel the same as soon as the first clouds appear in her new relationship. Comparisons are inevitable.. However, chances are this doesnt mean she will run to you. Maybe just reach out which will make you feel even worse. NC is the recipe again, but can you do it? I can't dude..
Steven1 Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 Can definitely relate to this my friend. I was with my now ex for 7 years, we have been split up for a good few month now, and she is subsequently seeing someone else, as am I. But..., I still often think about my ex from time to time, what we would of been doing, talking about etc just random things. It's more thoughts of regret etc, but at times when I see her with her new boyfriend doing things that we would of been doing, or doing things that we had planned with each other but never got around to, it still does hurt. I think when you've either been with someone for so long or feel so strongly about one person and it doesnt work out, I wouldn't say that they will ALWAYS have a hold over you, but they are always one person that you will never forget no matter how much you want to. I think it just comes down to being able to separate the good times you had together, from any feelings for her. Once you can remember a time with her, without feeling any sense of loss or sadness etc, then you'll know you have completely moved on.
wellimhere Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I can relate to your story and pain .and it is such a bad feeling . my ex never even broke up with me [ ya know had the talk ] just started seeing some guy while we were together .she is always on my mind no matter what i do . i saw her and the new guy and it crushed me big time , i feel as you do . if you need to sit and cry man then go for it i'm supposed to meet up with my ex here at my place later on in the week .i know i'm not going to hear any good news theirs no preparing for it .when she leaves my place i know i'll break down , and feel like i'm back at step 1 again .
Author Cooper04 Posted June 7, 2016 Author Posted June 7, 2016 But..., I still often think about my ex from time to time, what we would of been doing, talking about etc just random things. It's more thoughts of regret etc, but at times when I see her with her new boyfriend doing things that we would of been doing, or doing things that we had planned with each other but never got around to, it still does hurt. Yeah, I feel the same way. The constant thoughts of regret is whats getting to me, if only I'd done this or said that.. It's so hard, because these are things that are now beyond my control and things I can't change. I really and honestly believed I was over her, been over a month since I felt down, been dating other people and doing fine. So disappointed to fall back in a hole. I'll stay the course, I won't contact her. Would get me anywhere anyway, if she's just started seeing some other guy. She's bought an apartment about 200 yards from mine, and the park I saw her in is one of my favourite hangouts. I'm afraid to go there now. If just catching a glance of her while driving by can get me this low, what would it do to me if I actually had to talk to her, see her smile at me again, hear her laughter?
heartbrokenoff Posted June 7, 2016 Posted June 7, 2016 Yeah, I feel the same way. The constant thoughts of regret is whats getting to me, if only I'd done this or said that.. It's so hard, because these are things that are now beyond my control and things I can't change. I really and honestly believed I was over her, been over a month since I felt down, been dating other people and doing fine. So disappointed to fall back in a hole. I'll stay the course, I won't contact her. Would get me anywhere anyway, if she's just started seeing some other guy. She's bought an apartment about 200 yards from mine, and the park I saw her in is one of my favourite hangouts. I'm afraid to go there now. If just catching a glance of her while driving by can get me this low, what would it do to me if I actually had to talk to her, see her smile at me again, hear her laughter? both of you broke up due to indifference or there is 3rd party involved?
Author Cooper04 Posted June 7, 2016 Author Posted June 7, 2016 both of you broke up due to indifference or there is 3rd party involved? There was no 3rd party as such, but as I said I feel I was her rebound. It was never an issue of her getting back to her ex, but she had trust issues. I know she hasn't been seeing anyone until last week.( I caved and asked a mutual friend) I would't call it indifference, but we both had put up these walls around ourselves, her especially, that we never seemed to be able to break down. I was willing to be patient, in the end she wasn't. I have very little hope of reconciling, this is all my own mind playing tricks on me. This relationship didn't work, but I can only seem to remember the good things and have forgotten everything else.
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