MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 24, 2005 Posted June 24, 2005 Very brief history: Marriage was all but over and met OM last Sept. Moved to my own place in Jan. Saw less of the OM/BF because his business was very busy. Got ticked because every job call seemed to be more important than keeping a date with me. His business went on the road at the end of March and was to last 4 months max. This was with them flying home every second weekend. After the first month, and no plans of them returning, arranged for me to fly to where he was for the weekend. I was so excited but then it didnt' pan out because they were given another site to do and had to make up for lost time. After he'd been gone for two months, I was having a difficult time being without him, and other stresses were going on in my life, and I told him I could no longer wait unless I knew exactly when I can expect to see him, and that when he gets back for good that he make time for me. He couldn't promise me this, so I said that this won't work and I won't wait and have a nice life and oh yeah, the sex can't be beat. We've had some contact, basically a big love letter from him (email) but that was almost a month ago, and nothing since. I left him a voicemail on his birthday last wknd, a text, and an email since I wasn't sure where he was working or what kind of cell/computer access he had. He hasn't responded. I know he loves me, and hopes we will get things back on track. He also is aware of my terms. During this break I have gone out with other guys, but it's been nice to have no expectations, no waiting for him to call, no pining, etc. I try not to think about what he's doing either, although I think I know him, and it's all work work work. If I'm right they should be very close to home now with several sites left to do in about a 500 mile radius of here. Here is my dilemma: Although I said I wouldn't wait, and I didn't because I went on some dates, deep down I believe I AM waiting because I've held back from getting into anything more than casual dating. I still have strong feelings for him but also still have my doubts about whether or not we will be able to make it work. I would like to try. Should I continue to wait? Should I email or text him again or just wait until he contacts me? Am I on dope? Do you think I'm putting my relationship status on hold because of him or am I just using him as an excuse to keep other guys at bay because I'm not really over my marriage ending (I will get over it, no chance of reconciliation). I'm going on vacation first week of July, rented a cabin for me and the kids. I was thinking of telling him this, but maybe I should just not say a word and let him wonder what's up with me? To me that is playing games. Is it though?
Pocky Posted June 24, 2005 Posted June 24, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 To me that is playing games. Is it though? I've always wanted someone to be with me because they wanted to and not because I tricked them or manipulated the situation so that they wanted me. Deep down I wanted to know that they were with me, without all the pride, jealousy, anger or lust, but with just love and the only way for me to know that was to be honest and expect honesty. With that expectation, I never really felt a reason to play games when dating. In my opinion, if you want to be with him, tell him so. Express what you want, find out what he wants and see if they can work together. In my mind, games are for people that want to have relationships and not for people that are looking to love another person. I would contact him and find out the truth so you don't have to question or wonder and you'll know that either way, you went after what you wanted.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 11, 2005 Author Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky In my opinion, if you want to be with him, tell him so. Express what you want, find out what he wants and see if they can work together. In my mind, games are for people that want to have relationships and not for people that are looking to love another person. I would contact him and find out the truth so you don't have to question or wonder and you'll know that either way, you went after what you wanted. Okay here's more to the story. I last heard from him on June 10 when we exchanged a couple of text messages and the mood was light and happy, as we missed each other. The following week, as I mentioned, I sent him birthday messages. So, I emailed him to let him know I was going away. I told him I missed him and hoped everything was okay and that I was hoping I'd have heard from him as to where he was and how close to the end of the job they were. It wasn't a needy or lonely email. BUT it came back undeliverable. I don't know if he blocked me or even why he would, or if his inbox is full, or he cancelled his internet or wtf is up. So, I decided to call his cell #. Well, the message was different. Instead of giving numbers for his replacement contacts, he just said "this is so'n'so...blah blah leave a message". So I take this to mean he is back in the province, still doing the work here but also running his business. I left him a message, to say hi, and that I was going away, and that I tried to email but it came back. And left it at that. Didn't sound needy or clingy, just the usual hello. It is really unlike him (and damn inconsiderate I might add) to not even acknowledge my messages. I don't understand. So the next day, which was the day before my vacation (July 2) I left him another voicemail. This time I wrote everything down what I was going to say: -told him i was going on vacation July 3-10 -told him I was wondering why he hasn't returned my calls and didn't want to assume anything -said I was looking forward to his return, and knew he'd be busy catching up on things, but was hoping I was one of the things he wanted to catch up on -said that if he didn't want me to contact him, at least tell me as much, and I won't even ask why -told him I put my heart into this relationship and if he wanted me to move on, I will (voice cracked here) -said I love you and miss you That was a week ago. Text'd him today....said I'd like to talk, please just say yes or no. And haven't heard a thing. So now what am I supposed to think? As always I should not assume things. Last we talked, he loved me...said "I love you ... bottom line". Does he want me to "take a hint"? My heart is broken.....it took me a while to figure out why I am going so crazy here....but that is why.
Author MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 11, 2005 Author Posted July 11, 2005 I don't want to move on unless he tells me to. Deep down I feel he wants us to be together, but why has he blown me off? Here are my assumptions but I want to hear it from him 1) it's all work work work for him, too focused on work and wants to get it done so he can finally make time for me 2) he knows he can't make time for me so it's all work work work so he doesn't have to think about me 3) his mother is ill and any spare time he is spending with his family 4) he knows I'm hurting and can't deal with it so .... work work work But couldn't he at least call or text or email me to tell me? something? anything? This isn't like him at all, at least not the way I've known him to be for nearly a year. Is he laying in a hospital bed somewhere or worse? That doesn't explain how his voicemail msg got changed. Should I call his friend? I've never met him, only seen him in the background on msn. Should I keep calling him? I don't want to stalk him, or drive by his house, that's way to creepy! I haven't called his home, cuz if he was actually home I feel he would call. I believe he is still on the road, but I just wish I knew.
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