Do ex boyfriends ever feel regret?

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, please believe him when he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. There is no positive take-away from that, aside from the fact that he has set you free so that you can someday meet someone who wants the same things you do.

 

I know it's hurtful, and many of us have been where you are. Speaking from experience, the best thing you can do is consider that chapter closed and really begin your healing. You need to stop analyzing his words, looking for hope. You'll drive yourself crazy and delay your recovery. You haven't heard from him in a little while now - that should tell you all you need to know about his mindset at this time.

 

Don't take your friends' advice and date others. You're not ready, and it's not fair to the guys you're going on dates with. It won't help you get over your ex either.

 

Focus on yourself and healing from inside.

[Giggles666]

I had a second chance 15 years later with a woman...it lasted weeks when we got back together. It was a disaster unlike any dating experience I ever had...by a landslide. Not to say that's the norm, but in those 15 years I moved on. I also went through a period after this last breakup where I thought, "well, it is 3 strikes before you are out". Such is life, but once I got healed up a bit I realized...don;t be ridiculous.

 

Not to nitpick, but it seems you want to only hear "it can happen and it will work".

 

1 or 2 years, perhaps, as others have said you need to work through whatever it was that was the problem. In the meantime, you need to move on in my experience. Live your life for you. You might not even want a reconciliation in a year or 2, or if you don;t move on you might still have wasted a year or 2 of your life.

[firefairy]

This is the amount of time I would consider as well.. years! not months.

 

We need to get detached..completely. Especially myself because I guess she is already "detached" in someone else's arms.

 

But if we meet after years, we are in the same phase, not in serious relationships and just hang out and actually enjoy it, then..

 

It would still take time and numerous meetups because we would both be quite hesitant (me subconsciously not trusting her, her afraid her old empty feelings prevailing against me).

 

However, I was the dumpee, so I might be as open as above regarding reconciliation and her not at all.

But I wouldnt go back to her even if she calls tom, says she loves me, she made a huge mistake and wants to start again.

 

We were done for a reason, or actually for many reasons, I did a lot of mistakes in the beginning of our ldr, she did all of them in the end.

 

These need to be wiped out for good

 

edit: and yes, we guys regret. When hurting a woman I feel very bad with myself even if I have no romantic feelings towards her anymore.

 

Yes exactly, as much as I'd love to be with him - I want the past, not what it could be like now. And of course, I can't have the past!

I don't think everything is so black and white.. there's no reason we couldn't at least be good friends like we were before we got together in a few years time, when he's less fragile and indecisive about his life, and scared of it.

 

I don't want him to regret breaking up with me, I told him that that was his choice and not to feel guilty over it. But I just hope he doesn't simply forget what we had, who I was.. that scares me the most. That "love" can be so one-sided, in the end

[firefairy]

OP, please believe him when he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. There is no positive take-away from that, aside from the fact that he has set you free so that you can someday meet someone who wants the same things you do.

 

I know it's hurtful, and many of us have been where you are. Speaking from experience, the best thing you can do is consider that chapter closed and really begin your healing. You need to stop analyzing his words, looking for hope. You'll drive yourself crazy and delay your recovery. You haven't heard from him in a little while now - that should tell you all you need to know about his mindset at this time.

 

Don't take your friends' advice and date others. You're not ready, and it's not fair to the guys you're going on dates with. It won't help you get over your ex either.

 

Focus on yourself and healing from inside.

 

But how do I stop blaming myself? My character?

One of the replies here said he wad lying when he said he didn't want a relationship, he just didn't want one with me, specifically.

but he didn't want a relationship from the start, he hadn't been in one in years after he was dumped - and when things were getting remotely serious, he left.

Am I an idiot for considering not taking this personally? Like I'm not loveable by his standards? Am I a naive little girl for thinking it was all in his own head, and it had nothing to do with me?

[firefairy]

I had a second chance 15 years later with a woman...it lasted weeks when we got back together. It was a disaster unlike any dating experience I ever had...by a landslide. Not to say that's the norm, but in those 15 years I moved on. I also went through a period after this last breakup where I thought, "well, it is 3 strikes before you are out". Such is life, but once I got healed up a bit I realized...don;t be ridiculous.

 

Not to nitpick, but it seems you want to only hear "it can happen and it will work".

 

1 or 2 years, perhaps, as others have said you need to work through whatever it was that was the problem. In the meantime, you need to move on in my experience. Live your life for you. You might not even want a reconciliation in a year or 2, or if you don;t move on you might still have wasted a year or 2 of your life.

 

Wow, 15 years is a long time!

I guess, essentially, yes. I know it's over. I know that much, I know he left...

But is everything this black and white? I can't wrap my head around that.

 

That's true - I don't know what my mind set will be like in a couple of years..but for now I know I miss him terribly, and can't shake it

[gaig]

I always had regrets that I hadn't done certain things, and I definitely had regrets about things in the past with me and her, there was never any cheating or anything like that between us, but we did have some very bad arguments etc that did lead to a bit of resentment between us at times, and I massively regret that and I still often now think if that had never happened, then things probably would have progressed a lot better between us than they did.. and we quite possibly still would have been together. I regret not doing a lot of things with her that she will now do with her current boyfriend etc.

 

Wow mr steve you are describing here my daily routine..

[gaig]

But I just hope he doesn't simply forget what we had, who I was.. that scares me the most. That "love" can be so one-sided, in the end

 

I dont think they just simply forget..

 

They discover ways to fall in oblivion.. dont look or erase photos, throw again things/gifts, avoid situations that are tied with us.. Everything that they know will fill them up with guilt because deep inside them they acknowledge they treated us wrong

[ExpatInItaly]

But how do I stop blaming myself? My character?

One of the replies here said he wad lying when he said he didn't want a relationship, he just didn't want one with me, specifically.

but he didn't want a relationship from the start, he hadn't been in one in years after he was dumped - and when things were getting remotely serious, he left.

Am I an idiot for considering not taking this personally? Like I'm not loveable by his standards? Am I a naive little girl for thinking it was all in his own head, and it had nothing to do with me?

 

You build up your own self-esteem.

 

It's natural to wonder if something is wrong with us when we're broken up with, but ultimately you need to come to a point where you realize you're pretty darn awesome. You'll learn to love yourself more and realize the right guy will appreciate those qualities in you. This mindset takes practice but it works.

 

Why do you need to be lovable by anyone else's standards? Love who you are.

 

It honestly sounds to me like he just wants to be single and have fun with no bigger commitment right now. He knows himself best; if he let you go, he did it for a reason. I know it sucks, I've been there too. But in the end, it really was for the best.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes exactly, as much as I'd love to be with him - I want the past, not what it could be like now. And of course, I can't have the past!

I don't think everything is so black and white.. there's no reason we couldn't at least be good friends like we were before we got together in a few years time, when he's less fragile and indecisive about his life, and scared of it.

 

I don't want him to regret breaking up with me, I told him that that was his choice and not to feel guilty over it. But I just hope he doesn't simply forget what we had, who I was.. that scares me the most. That "love" can be so one-sided, in the end

 

And to address this point, he's not going to just forget all about you. Human memory doesn't work that way.

 

Even the men I have broken up with, I have never forgotten. I can appreciate the good times we shared and I have some fond memories. They're part of my life story. I didn't just simply delete them completely.

[firefairy]

I dont think they just simply forget..

 

They discover ways to fall in oblivion.. dont look or erase photos, throw again things/gifts, avoid situations that are tied with us.. Everything that they know will fill them up with guilt because deep inside them they acknowledge they treated us wrong

am I weak because I don't want him to feel guilt?

I love the boy. he's a stupid boy...a confused, young boy but not a bad one. If that makes sense. Maybe it's pathetic I still stand up for him, maybe it's not..

[firefairy]

And to address this point, he's not going to just forget all about you. Human memory doesn't work that way.

 

Even the men I have broken up with, I have never forgotten. I can appreciate the good times we shared and I have some fond memories. They're part of my life story. I didn't just simply delete them completely.

 

I'm young so he was my first real relationship, but I don't want to be remembered, I want to be given another chance down the line. We had barely begun.. he seemed so happy to be with me... I'm finding to difficult to accept and let go of that last glimmer of hope that one day we'll reconnect and fall in love again..

 

Time..

Thank you for your response

[gaig]

am I weak because I don't want him to feel guilt?

I love the boy. he's a stupid boy...a confused, young boy but not a bad one. If that makes sense. Maybe it's pathetic I still stand up for him, maybe it's not..

 

In your post above replace "boy" with "girl" and you are already in my mind..

 

Eg, I know my ex was super confused and stressed, I knew it a year ago how her brain blocks in a specific way. And I kind of initiated it. Then the girl got confused. She doesn't know how love works, that love is still there when the excitement at some point goes away, that it can still come back.. She panicked and given her rough childhood (plus abandonment syndrome) she ran away like there is no tomorrow! She changed numbers, accounts, social media within 2-3 days!

 

But I still avoid blaming her, taking her side, defending her reaction to my family and close friends asking what happened.

 

About memories.. I never really liked photos, posing, etc and I have 35GB with her in 2 years! Just the thought of her deleting all these to avoid giving her regretful thoughts is killing me.

 

The only consolation I can offer is that you are not alone there.. Regardless age, sex, culture, background..

[firefairy]

In your post above replace "boy" with "girl" and you are already in my mind..

 

Eg, I know my ex was super confused and stressed, I knew it a year ago how her brain blocks in a specific way. And I kind of initiated it. Then the girl got confused. She doesn't know how love works, that love is still there when the excitement at some point goes away, that it can still come back.. She panicked and given her rough childhood (plus abandonment syndrome) she ran away like there is no tomorrow! She changed numbers, accounts, social media within 2-3 days!

 

But I still avoid blaming her, taking her side, defending her reaction to my family and close friends asking what happened.

 

About memories.. I never really liked photos, posing, etc and I have 35GB with her in 2 years! Just the thought of her deleting all these to avoid giving her regretful thoughts is killing me.

 

The only consolation I can offer is that you are not alone there.. Regardless age, sex, culture, background..

 

Oh my gosh, some people are just not built to love, or commit. Maybe it is a case of right people, wrong time for them..

I knew from day 1 this guy was terrified of committing, but in the end he chose to, I didn't force him so I don't blame myself for any pressure.

I guess you not fully blaming her is simply a good reflection on you. It's easy to sit here and wallow in anger, the fact they betrayed out trust and left, but it dehumanizes the good times. And I don't think that's fair..

 

I wouldn't even think about her deleting that crap. It means nothing. If she did, that's a conscious choice, same if she didn't. You'll never know why she would do either.

 

Yep, I can tell I'm not! Man reading these forums is like looking in a mirror... I like the balance of hope and reality, too..

[gaig]

I knew from day 1 this guy was terrified of committing, but in the end he chose to, I didn't force him so I don't blame myself for any pressure.

 

Definitely the right persons, absolutely definitely wrong timing in our lives or just in theirs.

 

I've experienced that before, timing killing a relationship because we were not in the same page. It is more usual in couples with age gap, however it appears the gap is only in our minds and actually the moment. You might be aligned at a specific time, but when problems show up in your relationship then you become desynchronized. Why? I would say numerous factors. Truth is, you cannot force them..

 

 

I wouldn't even think about her deleting that crap. It means nothing. If she did, that's a conscious choice, same if she didn't. You'll never know why she would do either.

 

My ex is at your age, maybe you can understand better.

 

To make it even worse, she was printing out few of our best photos and handing them to me from time to time with words about our family, house, kids, etc (remember, we've been 2.5 years together). She thought I didn't really care, but in the contrary, I was making inscriptions and notes on the back side of each one of them! Then I thought I will make it look like a puzzle (she loved puzzles) and one of the last pieces would have the proposal!

 

Ofc we wouldn't push for it immediately, probably after 2-3 years when she would be over with her studies (it's common in her culture to do it like this).

 

But as you can understand, since things took a twist, I cancelled that and was not intending to give her this photo collection anyway.

 

Last time I saw her (a month ago) she was feeling very bad for her attitude towards me and she noticed that album.. I explained it was something I was preparing for quite some time with these photos, but it was not just for her; we were supposed to read through this together "on a special day". Her eyes got wet and really asked me to give her and that she needed to know, to get her mind clear.. It wasn't just for her, but how could I say no? She promised she would take care of it and me since I had there my most personal thoughts on us.

 

5 days later, she disappeared, +2 days she posed with couple hoodies with a 20 year old boy in social media and probably didn't even take time to read it, but rather threw it in the trash can (she was very busy that week).

 

Just thinking that she took her quick decision without even having a look at it, is breaking my heart into tiny pieces on a daily basis..

[firefairy]

Definitely the right persons, absolutely definitely wrong timing in our lives or just in theirs.

 

I've experienced that before, timing killing a relationship because we were not in the same page. It is more usual in couples with age gap, however it appears the gap is only in our minds and actually the moment. You might be aligned at a specific time, but when problems show up in your relationship then you become desynchronized. Why? I would say numerous factors. Truth is, you cannot force them..

 

 

 

 

My ex is at your age, maybe you can understand better.

 

To make it even worse, she was printing out few of our best photos and handing them to me from time to time with words about our family, house, kids, etc (remember, we've been 2.5 years together). She thought I didn't really care, but in the contrary, I was making inscriptions and notes on the back side of each one of them! Then I thought I will make it look like a puzzle (she loved puzzles) and one of the last pieces would have the proposal!

 

Ofc we wouldn't push for it immediately, probably after 2-3 years when she would be over with her studies (it's common in her culture to do it like this).

 

But as you can understand, since things took a twist, I cancelled that and was not intending to give her this photo collection anyway.

 

Last time I saw her (a month ago) she was feeling very bad for her attitude towards me and she noticed that album.. I explained it was something I was preparing for quite some time with these photos, but it was not just for her; we were supposed to read through this together "on a special day". Her eyes got wet and really asked me to give her and that she needed to know, to get her mind clear.. It wasn't just for her, but how could I say no? She promised she would take care of it and me since I had there my most personal thoughts on us.

 

5 days later, she disappeared, +2 days she posed with couple hoodies with a 20 year old boy in social media and probably didn't even take time to read it, but rather threw it in the trash can (she was very busy that week).

 

Just thinking that she took her quick decision without even having a look at it, is breaking my heart into tiny pieces on a daily basis..

 

 

There was only a 2 year age gap between me and him - yet I was far more mature throughout the relationship. We never had any fights as such, but any discussion regarding disagreement was initiated by me - which he told me he appreciated so much as in his previous relationship, everything was swept under the rug.

 

Some people have their sunshine and rainbows phase and up and go. Unless there was abuse, or cheating , you and I shouldn't take their rash decisions personally.

 

It was very big of you to give that back - I would have thrown it out. You're the better person now in that sense, hold onto that next time you feel your heart break into tiny pieces.. you did your best and showed compassion literally until the bitter end...

 

The guilt they feel will either turn into indifference towards us, or the opposite. I'm not banking on either. He dealt with the breakup horribly, treated me horribly and even said that before I realized it for myself.

 

I'm becoming physically exhausted with pining over him and missing him, it's become nearly as addictive as our relationship in the first place.

[gaig]

He dealt with the breakup horribly, treated me horribly and even said that before I realized it for myself.

 

I'm becoming physically exhausted with pining over him and missing him, it's become nearly as addictive as our relationship in the first place.

 

Should you consider yourself the lucky one since you got feedback on closure? lol

At least it is something, allow him to live with the guilt because I am sure he will never really forget. He might move on completely and stop thinking about you but..what goes around, comes around.. And when it will get him, then he will remember the way he treated ms Firefairy and think that probably karma was lurking at him for a long time.

 

In my case she just blocked the **** out of me without a single word. (actually she called, I missed it and 5-10 minutes later when I called, I was already blocked, still not an excuse to vanish like that).

 

Personally, I am already exhausted, I am on a relatively not busy period at work and I have lost my sleep, I am even noticing changes on my body..

[Laydback1]

Tht guy is unstable and playing games. He makes it bad for the guy thts going to come into ur life and love and cherish u. But u might see the dirtbag in the nice guy and punish him for what tht guy did. If u treated him like u wanted to be treated leave him alone and get someine better. U deserve tht right? Hope it helps.

[Blanco]

I'm young so he was my first real relationship, but I don't want to be remembered, I want to be given another chance down the line. We had barely begun.. he seemed so happy to be with me... I'm finding to difficult to accept and let go of that last glimmer of hope that one day we'll reconnect and fall in love again..

 

Time..

Thank you for your response

 

He can't fall in love with you again, because he wasn't in love with you to begin with.

 

I know it hurts, but you have to work to push past the denial/delusional stage of grieving where you think you know his thoughts better than he does.

[Blanco]

Tht guy is unstable and playing games. He makes it bad for the guy thts going to come into ur life and love and cherish u. But u might see the dirtbag in the nice guy and punish him for what tht guy did.

 

This really isn't even relevant to the conversation at hand. Having read your own thread, it sounds like you're just projecting here.

[firefairy]

He can't fall in love with you again, because he wasn't in love with you to begin with.

 

I know it hurts, but you have to work to push past the denial/delusional stage of grieving where you think you know his thoughts better than he does.

 

I appreciate you taking the time to input and you've mad a lot of valid points in your replies, however you nor anybody else in this threat (bc180 guy) have absolutely no insight nor right to tell me he never loved me. I started this story for positive stories about exes working things out, or moving on happier than ever. I am not deluding myself and counting on his return, but I'm not going to say it'll never happen, because I don't know.

 

Your words now don't effect me but if someone said that to me 2 months ago when I was suicidal, I would've reacted badly. Please be careful with the words you use here. Honesty is only constructive when it's not based off assumptions and bitterness

 

My "denial" phase will end when my body lets it end.

[oldshirt]

Just some points in no particular order -

 

 

- I've never "regretted" ending a relationship. That doesn't mean that I didn't miss them, didn't enjoy seeing them if I bumped into them at Wal Mart or something, didn't fantasize about them to one degree or another and it certainly didn't mean that I didn't look back and appreciate the good times and have fond memories.

 

 

- Breaking up is not about not enjoying/appreciating the past and doesn't mean that the past doesn't mean anything or is forgotten. Breaking up is about the future. Breaking up doesn't mean that the past was not good necessarily. Breaking up means they don't want to continue the relationship going forward into the future.

 

 

- there is no such thing as "fear" of commitment. That is a mythological concept that does not actually exist. Noone "fears" commitment, they simply don't want it, or they do not want it with you.

 

 

- Likewise, there is rarely any "confusion" in regards to relationships or commitment or breaking up etc. There may be lots of conflicting feelings and a lot of apprehension about what the future will be like, but people are rarely actually confused about where they see the future of the relationship.

 

 

- It is not uncommon for someone who was reluctant to commit (and maybe even used the terms 'fear of commitment'etc to be engaged or married to someone else shortly after ending a prior relationship.

 

 

-Nothing bad has to occur for someone to no longer wish to continue a relationship. Again remember, breaking up is about the future and not necessarily the past. While breaking up over some transgression such as mistreatment, cheating, drunkenness/addiction, terrible, hurtful fights etc is valid, they do not need to occur to no longer want to continue the relationship.

 

 

- The one year mark is a valid time to evaluate a relationship and determine if one wants to continue or not. At it's core, dating is a process to determine if someone is "the one" for which you want to marry and build a home and family with and live out the rest of your days with. A year of adult dating is sufficient time to determine that or not. If the answer to question of, "is this person the right one for me?" is yes or even maybe, then the relationship can continue and move forward. If however the answer is no, then as painful as it may be to both parties, they are obligated to dissolve the relationship so both parties can move on and find the right match for them.

 

 

- that is a painful process for both parties. That is why so many songs and so many books and so many movies and stories etc are about breaking up and relationships going sour and unrequited love etc etc. It is such gut wrenching and painful and exasperating part of the human experience.

 

 

- some times people that dated in their teens or early 20s do get back together again later in life. However they do it as different people and at completely different stages of their lives. People go through tremendous growth and change as they transition from high school teenagers to independent adults. Most teen/early 20s relationships do not last due to all that change and development that takes place during those years. Some people do reunite, but the vast majority do not and do not want to.

[oldshirt]

so what to do about it now that this relationship has ended??

 

 

Bottom line is keep on trucking forward with your own life. Don't wallow in self pity of the break up. Don't contact him, don't chase him, don't try to reunite with him, don't follow him or social media (delete and block if you have to) and don't try to make excuses or orchestrate reasons to run into him or see him.

 

 

Very importantly, do not sit on the shelf on reserve waiting for him to come back or to contact you. Relationships need to be "all-in or all-out." If he is not all-in with you, be all-out with him.

 

 

That means no booty calls in the middle of the night if he gets lonely and calls you.

 

 

It also means do not try to be "friends." All being friends means is that you get to tear the band aid off and take the scab with it every day so that it never has a chance to heal and will eventually form a nasty scar.

 

 

He chose to terminate the relationship so accept and move on with your own life leaving him behind.

 

 

Not being friends doesn't mean that you have to hate on him or spread nasty rumors or throw darts at his picture. You can be a compassionate human being and offer to call him a tow truck if you find him broke down on the side of the road during a snow storm. But it means that you don't offer him any more emotional investment or headspace that you would for any other human being. As a fellow child of God, you owe him common courtesy and common compassion as you would a stranger on the street, but nothing more.

 

 

Get out do things. Follow your interests and passions. Devout yourself to your schooling, work, hobbies, friends, passions etc. Get out and do fun things with fun people.

 

 

Along with that I DO think you should get out and date. If someone you find interesting and that seems like a good person asks you out - go. Go out and have a nice time.

 

 

That doesn't mean, try to replace your lost relationship right off the bat. What it means is get out of the house and go out and do something with someone. Get to know people. Get to know how the opposite sex thinks and feels and reacts. Become a skilled dater.

 

 

If you run into someone you find attractive and interesting but they aren't asking you out, you ask them out. Take risks. Get out of your box.

 

 

It's ok to keep it casual and not have any big expectations or grand illusions, but do get out of the house and be socially active.

 

 

Your friends are kind of right in that once you start dating and interacting with guys that are "better" than your ex, he will soon just be a memory. In time, you will appreciate that you are no longer yoked to him and that you have the freedom and ability to associate with a wide variety of other people and other men.

 

 

Please note that I am not necessarily talking about sex here although there is that as well. Follow your own value system and mores and beliefs in regards to sexuality but in time, someone will push those buttons as well and will make heart rate go up.

 

 

In time, someone special will rise to the top again. that is inevitable and will happen as long as you get out and let it happen.

[Blanco]

I have the right because you've posted this on a public forum and I have not violated any of the forum rules in my posts in this thread. I've simply stated what's most likely what, as have many others in this thread who have also experienced what you've been through. I feel like that's the part you're missing.

 

You've never been through this before, while a lot of people who are posting in here have been. In other words, they have experience and genuine insight to how these things usually work out. Year-long relationships that start at 20 generally don't work out. The people involved are simply too young and too inexperienced for it to have a realistic shot at anything long term.

 

I know that's not what you want to hear, but I think that at this point, it's what you need to hear. What I post isn't based on assumptions or bitterness. It's based on experience, both my own and of those around me. Sure, I know of people who married someone they started dating at an incredibly young age. I'm now at an age where a fair number of those people are either divorced or heading in that direction.

 

You shouldn't take my claims of you being in a "denial" stage as some personal attack. It's not meant as a slight. Denial is one of the five steps of the grieving process, and I think many of us who go through an unwanted breakup experience it to some extent.

 

In closing, I'll say that your requests for only positive comments right now is only going to do more harm than good, since in your mind, positive comments can only be limited to exes coming back. Latching on to these true anomalies is only going to keep you stuck on this guy, instead of what needs to be happening: Mourning the loss of the relationship and then accepting that it is over and it's likely to stay that way.

[BC1980]

I appreciate you taking the time to input and you've mad a lot of valid points in your replies, however you nor anybody else in this threat (bc180 guy) have absolutely no insight nor right to tell me he never loved me. I started this story for positive stories about exes working things out, or moving on happier than ever. I am not deluding myself and counting on his return, but I'm not going to say it'll never happen, because I don't know.

 

Your words now don't effect me but if someone said that to me 2 months ago when I was suicidal, I would've reacted badly. Please be careful with the words you use here. Honesty is only constructive when it's not based off assumptions and bitterness

 

My "denial" phase will end when my body lets it end.

 

We are telling you he never loved you because that is based on facts. The facts lead to that conclusion. I know it's painful, and you don't want to hear it. I think you made this relationship into something it wasn't and never was going to be. I think a lot of us have been guilty of that at some point. It's easy to do because you bank on potential. I don't think it's healthy or positive to go looking for reconciliation stories at this point. It's much more healthy for you to face reality in bits and pieces.

[LD1990]

My "denial" phase will end when my body lets it end.

 

No, your denial phase ends when you accept that it's over and give up false hope of your ex coming back. It's a choice you make.

 

We've all been through breakups here and seen our fair share of other people's breakups. Some people go through a breakup, accept that it's over, and move on with their lives. It still hurts, but they get over it and find their own happiness again. Then there are people who cling to that hope that their exes will come back. Their exes still occupy their thoughts day in and day out, and they stay miserable, because how can you be happy when you're focused on someone who wants nothing to do with you?

 

You say you want people to be positive, well, the more positive way for you to handle your situation is moving on and building a life you love. Longing for a guy that dumped you is the negative, "let me wallow in my own misery" response to a breakup.

 

No one here is out to get you because of bitterness. When we tell you this guy didn't love you, it's because that's what all the facts demonstrate. We're basing this off facts, you're basing what you think off of your emotions. We tell you to move on because we've all seen plenty of people who don't move on, and all that happens is they lead sad lives until they finally accept reality.