spicerp Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I am a male who has not had a relationship in a very long time, and am naturally a little hestitant/fearful about getting into another one. I have been thinking of asking out a sweet woman at my local meditation centre, but there would be dietary issues, and I understand these can cause problems/break-ups. I am a sensitive, easy going lacto-vegetarian. I like to eat reasonably healthily, but for me eating is to be accomplished with the minimum of fuss. She is vegan, and in fact a very strict 'pure food' zealot who will not touch any kind of sauce, pasta , bread etc. She also has a host of smell allergies. Observing her personality I suspect she could be a nag, criticising me for drinking milk etc. I can see that would be difficult taking out such a person for a meal, for example. Has anyone any experience of this or any advice? Thanks.
fands Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 Just go for it. You're overthinking things, I think. All relationships are about compromise, despite what you might read around here.
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I am a male who has not had a relationship in a very long time, and am naturally a little hestitant/fearful about getting into another one. I have been thinking of asking out a sweet woman at my local meditation centre, but there would be dietary issues, and I understand these can cause problems/break-ups. I am a sensitive, easy going lacto-vegetarian. I like to eat reasonably healthily, but for me eating is to be accomplished with the minimum of fuss. She is vegan, and in fact a very strict 'pure food' zealot who will not touch any kind of sauce, pasta , bread etc. She also has a host of smell allergies. Observing her personality I suspect she could be a nag, criticising me for drinking milk etc. I can see that would be difficult taking out such a person for a meal, for example. Has anyone any experience of this or any advice? Thanks. You're overthinking and prejudging. It's just a meal. If she has strict requirements I'm sure she can suggest a place that's good to eat. I've been strict vegan for well over a decade and it's never caused an issue in relationships, nor have I passed judgment on someone else's choices unless asked for my opinion. It's just a date. 1
Buddhist Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) Don't know where you live but there are raw food restaurants in major cities now. Being raw food it tends to not have animal product in it. That's one option. However I think you are right to worry about this incompatibility though. People with extremely strict diets don't tend to mix well with people with a free-er eating pattern. Of course it depends on her attitude to non-pure, non-vegetarians in general. If she's the kind of person who mimics vomiting from the smell of canned tuna. Yeah that's a foible which will get old real quick. If however she is the type to say...well I eat this way because I want to but it's really none of my business what other people do. You could be okay there. Extremely fussy people are entitled to their fussiness but when they set about trying to control the way others behave it's a deal breaker. I see no reason to believe she is the latter though from what you've provided. Edited June 6, 2016 by Buddhist 1
Tribble Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I don't think I'd go there. Not because of dietary preferences but because you seem to have already made up your mind and judged a problem. That's never a good place to start. If you're trying to make up an excuse as to why it won't work because you're scared, it might be worth a shot. Otherwise, you've already judged her unsuitable. I'm a veggie and eat vegan most of the time and I'm careful of what I eat and when. I'm well aware how difficult it can be to eat out and I know how that impacts on the people I'm with. I work around it, I'll suggest somewhere or make it work where a friend wants to go. Because at the end of the day, dating isn't about the food, it's about the company. I've never dated a vegetarian and I've never come across a problem. If she is judgy and tries to convert you, you move on. A date is the process of seeing if you're compatible. You're already assuming your not. That is the problem, not her diet.
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 It's a lifestyle and for some they live it and breath it like a political belief. It would be like a smoker dating someone who has recently quit smoking....there is going to be a lecture for sure. If I were you I wouldn't date someone who is in the same class. If you dump her or not ask her for a second date, you are going to be seeing her at the class.....awkward. 1
Emilia Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I'm lactose intolerant so I'm sympathetic to people's food issues ... to a degree. I learned what to cook, where to eat, most of asian food is fine etc. I've learned that more or less it's only Italian food that's out. Went through that process, have to be a little careful but now I don't have to think about it twice nowdays. However, I can't bear neurotic fussy eaters that want to survive on air and salad. It would be a total turn off and incompatibility for me. I honestly think some people have too much time on their hands. 1
smackie9 Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 If they won't eat steak and drink beer, then there would be no date lol. 2
Author spicerp Posted June 6, 2016 Author Posted June 6, 2016 Some interesting and varied views. Thanks a lot!
Gaeta Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 It's so complicated to come up with an original tasty dinner 365 days a year for 2 people with no restrictions I can't imagine having to cook for a vegan or something else. I would not deal with it. I have turned down dating vegetarians before. It's complicated.
amaysngrace Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 It's not that big of a deal as long as you both don't try to force your eating habits onto the other but you should probably expect her to spit and not swallow.
Lorenza Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I'm a vegan (previously ovo-vegetarian) who's dating a meat eater. I do sometimes try to make him more aware, but never judge and preach. As long as he is opened to vegan meals (and he is) I'm content. So don't judge before you find out. Most vegans I know are happy as long as their partners cut down on some meat, but you're even more "advanced", you're lacto-veg.
Recommended Posts