spiderowl Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 (edited) I was wondering whether guys think beyond the obvious at first when they meet a woman they like? I get the impression from chatting to guys online that it is just attraction then wanting to meet. They do not think about compatibility, what each person wants in the long run, or care much about what the woman does for work or anything. In a roundabout way, what they are asking is "are you free and available" and "will you have sex with me?" When you try to talk about anything else, their eyes glaze over. So I wondered what guys' own experience of this is. What are you thinking when you see someone you like? Do you think about a possible long-term relationship or is that something that sort of creeps up on you as time goes on? What key things are you looking for when starting dating? Edited June 5, 2016 by spiderowl
planb1973 Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Personally I skip the online chit-chat and arrange for a date right away. Yes I want a relationship and yes I want sex. I arrange for a date right away because I find them attractive and want to see if we even like each other in real life. If the first date goes well, conversation is flowing and we have similar ideals and interests then I ask for a second date. To answer your question I go on a date out of simple physical attraction hoping that there is more to them and a relationship can form. If there is no compatibility but I still find them hot I have been known to go for some plain old sex NSA. But really I am looking for a relationship.
Author spiderowl Posted June 5, 2016 Author Posted June 5, 2016 Thanks for your thoughts on this PlanB, it does sound like pretty much how I think things often are.
ltjg45 Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 When I see a woman I like, the only two things I noticed is how she acts in public and her physical beauty. If she acts like she has no manners, I would leave her alone, no matter how attractive she is. However, if we passes both of my mental tests on it, I am interested in her. Now that tend to be as far as it goes since I simply don't approach women these days. I would have to find them by themselves and showing interest in me before I engage her and that is basically impossible these days. As for online dating, I have a little more information to go by so I am even pickier there. I have to see if her dreams would match up with me. Would I be willing to support her along the way? Once I write to her a few times, if I like what I am seeing so far, then I move on to asking her out for a date, if she is close enough. Of course, I have yet to meet such a woman so I can't stay for sure if that will happen....but that would be the general idea.
SwordofFlame Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) I go by physical attraction first. I always try to meet as soon as possible after messaging to see if there is chemistry. I don't go looking for one night stands, but I also don't disqalify women based on less than perfect compatibility. I guess you can say I kind of look for friends with benefits first, than decide if pursuing a relationship is right. Edited June 6, 2016 by SwordofFlame
dichotomy Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 Depends what the goals of the guy (or girl) are, and also likely what phase in life they are at - young (20's) ready for marriage and kids (late 20's early 30's), or divorced/older and wanting no kids. General speaking I always petered a relationship (with sex) to just causal hookups - but times change I guess (i am older).
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