Ex gf of 3yrs broke up and moved out but still wants me in her life

[Matt629]

So my ex gf moved out while i was at work. She works 1st shift, i work 2nd. Shes 22 im 27. We got together while she was pregnant (crazy i know but we loved each other ) we literally had nothing. I lived at my dads house she lived in her moms basement. We had crappy cars and no jobs. Then we both got jobs and new cars and started renting a house together. We had our ups and downs like anyone but we still loved each other. But. She told me that i was emotionally neglecting her before, i wasnt very open and i know this now. We broke up once for about 2 days where she moved to her dads but then came back. Then 2 months later is when she finally gave up and moved out for real. Less than a week later she went on a trip with a guy for the whole weekend. This guy is her friend, who also had a gf of 3 yrs. But he broke up with her to try with my ex. They were good friends, and work together also. Nothing was going on between them while we were together that wasnt an issue. They are the same age. We've been broken up since april so thats 2 months. They aren't officially bf gf they are both still single on their fb page, and they both still have pictures up of their exes ( me and his old gf ) and he also still talks to his ex and hangs out with her like me and my ex do. They do make goid friends but as far as a relationship goes i dont think they are compatible only time will tell though. She told me my issues and said she wished i would go to therapy. So i started, and I've learned a lot about myself and her and our old relationship. And ive been improving greatly. She said that she loves me but doesnt know if she can fall back IN love with me. She said she feels that tbe only way she thinks she could fall back in love is if we were friends first because she doesn't want me completely out of her life. She has also said that if it was meant to be then things will fall back in place and if she does come back she wont be moving back into this house ( that im still renting ) She is living with her dad and he is moving out in august and shes taking over the lease....So ive been trying to show her how im more open now and improving but it doesnt seem to be getting me anywhere. Her new "bf" who she has already told that she loves him seems to have put her in a trance or something. She gets jealous when other girls talk to him and shes really defensive about him. I dont talk about him around her though. But she talks about me around him because she feels like they can talk about anything. But shes also talking to a couple other guys, which i can see that he is starting to have trust issues with. He only sees her like 2- 3 times a week outside of work and then on the weekends goes out of town to go drinking with friends. So he barely spends any time with her at all and on the weekends she doesnt go with him ( has a kid ) so sometimes we hang out on the weekends, i dont bring up our past relationship thats dead im trying to show her ive improved and im more secure and open. I bought her a sentimental necklace for mothers day after we broke up and she wore it everyday for awhile until her new "bf" got insecure ( score ) lol. But she still wears it a lot when she goes out and wears it any time she sees me. Ive been to the ER twice this week with her, 1st time i found out and asked if she wanted me to go up there because he was "too busy" so i did. Last night she had to go back and called me at 1am to ask if i would go with her and i did. We were there for 6 hours. Once again because he was too busy. But he ended up calling her as we were leaving and she told him she loved him and he knew i was there which is probably why he called. She constantly views my snapchat stories ( i dont view hers )What makes the situation hard is theres a kid involved. I was there for him since before he was born and i still am. I see him once during the week and pick him up on Saturdays. His biological dad isn't in the picture. I know all about rebound relationships and grass is greener syndrome. Its a little depressing to see her like this because her personality has did a 180. Shes talking and hanging out with other guys and doing things she normally wouldnt do. Shes trying hard to make it look like shes happy and having fun but after being together for 3 years i can tell when shes hurting. I dont want to let go i really do love her thats why ive been making the changes and trying to be understanding of the situation. We have discussed the fact that our past relationship is dead and if we somehow start again that it would be like starting completely over. Which is what i want because im more aware of the things that drove her away. I did the typical thing right after we broke up, trying to convince her that things will be different and that if we can make it through this then we can make it through anything and blah blah. I havnt brought up getting back together for about 3 weeks. But im still confused. It doesn't feel like im getting anywhere or that shes willing to give us one more chance to have the relationship it was supposed to be. Is she just using me as a safety net? Or is she using him to forget about the break up? Or is she slowly testing me to see if she will fall back in love? Or does she really just want to be friends? Ive tried the no contact thing but that doesnt work with a kid involved.

Edited June 5, 2016 by Matt629

[LD1990]

She keeps you around strictly for emotional support and an ego boost. She's not going to fall back in love with you. You're wasting your time here. Go NC and don't look back. Seriously, you're not even with her and you're helping her raise her kid? While she sleeps with some other guy and talks to several more? Get out of there man.

[Stage5Clinger]

Always sounds like a good thing but it's not. You're only prolonging your own health and martyring your own mental health in the false hope that things work out. You going to stick around to hear about how her dating life is going? I don't think so. Cut her off.

[Giggles666]

Run and do not look back....in fact, if you can SPRINT and forget she ever existed.

[Satu]

Never be anyone's Plan B.

 

Never try to be a friend to an Ex who walked away from you.

 

Both of those lead to humiliation and a loss of dignity.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

*If you work together, nothing more than basic civil communication about work.

 

Change for yourself if you want to, but don't change for her.

 

 

Take care.