1a2b Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Unconventional dating scenario. I am going on a first date with the girl who is pregnant with my child. We don't know each other very well. Long story short, two friends of friends that have known of each other a long time but were not friends with each other. Hooked up and here we are. We have been getting to know each other on a friend/co-parent basis but things have progressed and we're going on a date tomorrow. It's not a standard first date in that if it goes bad, I never have to see her again. Do I treat it like any other first date anyway? Not talk about baby things and just get to know each other? Figure out if we really like each other or simply the idea of being a family unit for the child?
Buddhist Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Good Lord! I do not even want to ask how this happened.... Did you impregnate her with a turkey baster?
PogoStick Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 No this isn't a regular date. This is the girl you got pregnant. Yes, you are welcome to have a great night out together. But damn, you better be asking how the pregnancy is going. "Do you need a foot massage" sht like that. Actually no, she's not a princess. She's equally responsible for getting pregnant. If she rubs your feet you can rub hers back.
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Just take it easy. This is a really difficult situation as if you're both secretly putting pressure on yourselves to get along, want to start a R and be a happy couple before baby arrived, the pressure and expectations could leave either of you feeling trapped and kill it. Just treat it like any other date as far as possible, worst case scenario you can build a friendship ready for the challenge of co parenting, best case scenario you actually like one another and agree to be exclusive and see where it goes. Try focus on just having fun? But if she wants to talk baby, follow her lead. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 It's not a standard first date in that if it goes bad, I never have to see her again. What the hell makes an obviously VERY young woman choose to have a literal stranger's baby? Who freakin' does that? And YOUR attitude is exactly why I'd never be foolish enough to get myself into this position. You just blithely think "meh....if we don't click, I never have to see her again." Was this an immaculate conception? Because that's the only acceptable reason you'd have for claiming "I never have to see her again" if the 'date' doesn't go well. If you have any integrity at all, you'll see her PLENTY for the next 21 years or so due to your involvement in the life of the child you CHOSE to have. When you were foolish enough to have unprotected sex with a stranger, you CHOSE to have a child. The two of you acted like irresponsible fools and you're 50% responsible for this child, just as she is. Start ACTING like it.
introverted1 Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 And YOUR attitude is exactly why I'd never be foolish enough to get myself into this position. You just blithely think "meh....if we don't click, I never have to see her again." I think he's saying that this date wouldn't be like a regular first date in that, if they don't click, he CAN'T just not see her again. 1
Tahirthegreat Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 No need to date her, youve already had the sex. Just make sure to take care of the kid after having a dna test done. Send her some money or something.
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