beachlover966 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) I went on a date for coffee with a guy that I met online. I was the one who asked him out for coffee. I am 20 and he is 25. We talked for a few minutes while we were waiting in line. We never got coffee. All of the sudden his phone was ringing and then he answered it. He stepped outside to take his phone call and then he never came back. I texted him to ask where he was and then he never texted me back. Is it my fault that he left early? Edited June 4, 2016 by beachlover966 Link to post Share on other sites
iphone_user1 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 LOL what a coward, his wingman called him. They probably made a plan, something like "Follow and keep your distance. If I make this movement, that's the sign, you call me on my phone". 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 He didn't leave early. He ran out on the date. People leaving early give an explanation whether it's the truth or a lie. His behavior was horrible. It's not your fault. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
chphan Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Sadly he didn't find you attractive enough to even go to do the coffee so he bailed out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 He took a look at you and decided 'no thanks'. It's not your fault, no. He's just not attracted to you. IMO his actions though are pretty poor so I don't think you're missing out on much. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 You might want to make sure your pictures on your online dating app/site actually look like you. The only time I've wanted to just run out (I've never actually done so) was when the women looked 30lbs or more in person compared to her pictures. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Hats off to you for even asking someone out. Don't let this discourage you. learn from the experience, make adjustments, improve whatever it is that needs improving, then go forward. Keep trying. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Not your fault... He's a jerk and clearly not worthy of your time. Be glad you found this out before you dated him. Keep your chin up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NIGHT1985 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Your pictures are either very old, or very deceiving. Update them 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Or his wife called. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I think a lot of assumptions are being made here. She may be the hottest chick who ever walked the face of the earth and he completely panicked from anxiety and ran out! He would not be the first guy to do that either! Recall the poster who made a date with the woman he had been fantasizing about for a year, However as soon as he made a date with her, he literally panicked, broke out in a cold sweat, and was just about to cancel the date, but she beat him to it. Note again this was s woman he had been fantasizing about going out with for year! Could possibly be the same concept here, hot girl completely out of his league, his anxiety got the best of him, he panicked, and ran out. People are weird and have weird fears and anxieties, what can I say. It's possible! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I think a lot of assumptions are being made here. She may be the hottest chick who ever walked the face of the earth and he completely panicked from anxiety and ran out! He would not be the first guy to do that either! Recall the poster who made a date with the woman he had been fantasizing about for a year, However as soon as he made a date with her, he literally panicked, broke out in a cold sweat, and was just about to cancel the date, but she beat him to it. Note again this was s woman he had been fantasizing about going out with for year! Could possibly be the same concept here, hot girl completely out of his league, his anxiety got the best of him, he panicked, and ran out. People are weird and have weird fears and anxieties, what can I say. It's possible! Anything is possible. But my money would be betting that he wasn't interested and took a cowards way out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 (edited) beachlover, no matter why he ran out, doing so the way he did was beyond rude and inconsiderate. YOU dodged that bullet hun. Unless you are posting pics that misrepresent the real you, you did nothing wrong.... so no need to go reassessing yourself, making adjustments, changing or "improving" anything.... geez. He is a butthead, pls do not give him another thought. Edited June 5, 2016 by katiegrl 5 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 beachlover's past threads indicate she has guys chasing her (Instagram) telling her how pretty she is and *she* rejects them, so I highly doubt he ran out cuz he didn't like her looks. It could be anything, the guy is a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 beachlover's past threads indicate she has guys chasing her (Instagram) telling her how pretty she is and *she* rejects them, so I highly doubt he ran out cuz he didn't like her looks. It could be anything, the guy is a jerk. Could also mean her pictures misrepresent herself on Instagram ,no? I have a friend who's all over dating apps and gets heaps attentions but in reality she is overweight and not so attractive either and she would only flirt with guys online, would never agree to any meetings because she knows guys will run away. So beachlove only you know what's going on and if you are misrepresenting yourself , simply stop doing that . If you are not, then he's weird you forget about him and move on Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Look at it this way: let's say he went through with the coffee. You make conversation, ask questions about each other's interests, share a few laughs. You leave with vague plans to be in touch. Now you're wondering whether or not he is interested, whether he will contact you again. Let's say you found him intriguing and genuinely want to see him again. Now you're pining for that phone call, email or text message from him, asking you out on a date. Instead, there are crickets. So you come on here and share the details of the date, enlisting others' help to suss out whether or not he was interested or what could have gone wrong in what you said / did that might have put him off. Instead, he saved you the stress of all that. He saved himself the angst of having to tell you thanks, but no thanks. Of course what he did was rude, but if he really wasn't interested you at least didn't have too much of your time wasted. Nothing sucks more, at least to me, than sitting across from a stranger and feeling that he's not connecting with you (you know, the darty eyes, the monosyllabic responses with no reciprocal questions for you, the feeling that he'd rather be somewhere else). If it didn't click at all for him upon seeing you, then no hour-or-less tete-a-tete would have changed that. But, yeah, screw him for not even giving you a chance. That said, do follow other posters' advice and make sure your online dating photos reflect what you really look like. Mix up your photos so that you represent yourself in a range of situations: dressed up and made up, casual and no makeup such as on a hike or camping trip, with a smile showing your teeth, without sunglasses if you have them on in other photos. And ALWAYS provide a full-body shot. If they don't like what they see, they don't have to message you and you don't have to waste gas and valuable time arranging and executing a meeting where even if you look great, the sheer fact of the difference between how you look in person versus how you look in your profile photos could scare him away. Disregard the above advice, of course, if your profile photos do show you realistically. Sometimes people are just weird, and rude, and neurotic, and idiotic. He could have run because he got spooked at the idea of online dating as a whole and decided he just couldn't handle it. Increasingly I feel that OLD is a weird medium for meeting people and it can make even normal, good people a little wacko. As well as providing a veritable hunting ground for wackos. So chin up, and don't give this any more thought. Hope you at least got a good coffee or coffee drink for yourself 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I would much prefer it if all guys that aren't interested would be that obvious. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NIGHT1985 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 beachlover's past threads indicate she has guys chasing her (Instagram) telling her how pretty she is and *she* rejects them, so I highly doubt he ran out cuz he didn't like her looks. It could be anything, the guy is a jerk. Not all men are attracted to the same women. And if she in fact did post old or deceiving pictures, she should expect for these type of occurrences. It's happened to me 3-4 times during Internet dating, and while I didn't just get up and leave, I did show lack of interest and cut the date short. Being that deceitful from the start is a huge red flag from the get go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Not all men are attracted to the same women. And if she in fact did post old or deceiving pictures, she should expect for these type of occurrences. It's happened to me 3-4 times during Internet dating, and while I didn't just get up and leave, I did show lack of interest and cut the date short. Being that deceitful from the start is a huge red flag from the get go. Wholeheartedly agree with you... And am happy to hear that even tho you were disappointed, you had the courtesy and consideration to not just run out the way this schmo did .... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 You might want to make sure your pictures on your online dating app/site actually look like you. The only time I've wanted to just run out (I've never actually done so) was when the women looked 30lbs or more in person compared to her pictures. Could be this. I've had it happen too, stayed for the date. But the 'not so recent' pictures and you've gained weight since might be discouraging. Catfish. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I went on a date for coffee with a guy that I met online. I was the one who asked him out for coffee. I am 20 and he is 25. We talked for a few minutes while we were waiting in line. We never got coffee. All of the sudden his phone was ringing and then he answered it. He stepped outside to take his phone call and then he never came back. I texted him to ask where he was and then he never texted me back. Is it my fault that he left early? No. You drew a toad, and one who has no home training at that. You're best rid of something like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 @ Beach Damn did that really happen?! Man! That's some cold sh*t! The world has gotten colder in my perspective. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WellHelloThere Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Sometimes girls have just a couple pictures and they are from an angle that is the most flattering. Then you meet them and you know they put up the best pictures out of 100. But still, most decent people would have sat and had coffee for an hour. Then just not contact them again if they aren't attracted. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 In this case it means that you saved a lot of time. Dating is a process designed to get to know people. He showed you who he is very quickly. Whether his reason was crippling anxiety, lack of attraction to you, or a sudden emergency that took him away, he had several more considerate options. Including a text after the date explaining his behavior. Don't take it personally. I'm sure that's not the first time he's done that, nor the last. Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Whether his reason was crippling anxiety, lack of attraction to you, or a sudden emergency that took him away, he had several more considerate options. Including a text after the date explaining his behavior. . hahaha...imaging getting a text from a guy " sorry had to run because you look nothing like your pic!" Link to post Share on other sites
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