TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) I had a woman flying in to town to meet me while on a business trip. It was going to be our first meeting. I'd always felt something was 'strange' about someone from 1,000 miles away pursuing me given how attractive she is. She has been messaging me, texting me, and talking to me on the phone for a few months now. Anyway, last night - the night before her flight - just as we confirm a meeting spot she messages me to tell me she may be coming in sick and also may be starting her period and that I may have to just take care of her for the weekend. I felt like it was, "surprise - nothing is going to happen between us now." I don't know why, but my gut that had been telling me maybe she was just playing me the whole time kicked in, and I felt this was just going to turn into some friendly sleep over arrangement. I'm not interested in getting sick or being played, in any case, so I told her to stay with one of her friends instead. She seemed shocked. I let her know the issue was me, not her, and left it at that. So you know, this is not about getting laid. This is about being played, and my gut was telling me I was about to walk into a win/lose situation. Still, I think I may have been reacting to her out of mistrust for past hurts I've had with women and not wanting to get hurt again, but it's hard to tease it apart and say whether or not my gut is right or I did in fact have something to be on the lookout for here. Thoughts? Edited June 4, 2016 by TunaInTheBrine
mortensorchid Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I let the man know that I am on my period for one reason and one reason alone : we are not having sex. That is what she is telling you, whether she is or isn't on her period. 1
Author TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 I let the man know that I am on my period for one reason and one reason alone : we are not having sex. That is what she is telling you, whether she is or isn't on her period. I know. That's part of why I feel played. She was the one being aggressive and sending me texts saying she yearns for my touch, imagines us having sex, and that when she gets off the plane she is going to want to do bad things with me. And then right when we solidify a meeting spot the night before her flight, BAM! I kind of laughed and shook my head when I saw that text, because I thought to myself "here is exactly what I imagined happening." I totally let it/her go without getting angry with her. 1
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I had a woman flying in to town to meet me while on a business trip. It was going to be our first meeting. I'd always felt something was 'strange' about someone from 1,000 miles away pursuing me given how attractive she is. She has been messaging me, texting me, and talking to me on the phone for a few months now. Anyway, last night - the night before her flight - just as we confirm a meeting spot she messages me to tell me she may be coming in sick and also may be starting her period and that I may have to just take care of her for the weekend. I felt like it was, "surprise - nothing is going to happen between us now." I don't know why, but my gut that had been telling me maybe she was just playing me the whole time kicked in, and I felt this was just going to turn into some friendly sleep over arrangement. I'm not interested in getting sick or being played, in any case, so I told her to stay with one of her friends instead. She seemed shocked. I let her know the issue was me, not her, and left it at that. So you know, this is not about getting laid. This is about being played, and my gut was telling me I was about to walk into a win/lose situation. Still, I think I may have been reacting to her out of mistrust for past hurts I've had with women and not wanting to get hurt again, but it's hard to tease it apart and say whether or not my gut is right or I did in fact have something to be on the lookout for here. Thoughts? >>just as we confirm a meeting spot she messages me to tell me she may be coming in sick and also may be starting her period and that I may have to just take care of her for the weekend.<< Tuna I don't blame you one bit. Any women who says this^ to you prior to even meeting you has got some screws loose IMO. I mean WTH goes through the head of some of these chicks anyway..... boggles the mind.
Stage5Clinger Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 It was just a text, brah. She's probably nervous AF as she should be. I think it was dumb to lash out against her for one stupid text. It may have been a challenge but your chances of getting some just diminished exponentially.
smackie9 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 If it was a first meeting why would you even bother invite them to stay at your place? And with an expectation of sex? come on whatever happened to "When you come to town, lets meet up for dinner and drinks..." while she stays at a hotel or a friends place. You don't really know this person, it's just someone you have messaged. There are so many con artists out there lookin for a free plane ticket or accommodation, meals etc. As the saying goes, if it's too good to be true, it is. 5
frus69 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 "It's not about being laid, it's about being played"? Come on, you feel like you are being played because you won't be getting laid. She might be playing you but you ain't Saint here either. I think, if you weren't thinking about getting laid with a total stranger at the first place , then you wouldn't have put yourself in this situation (being played ) blame no one else here 4
Author TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) "It's not about being laid, it's about being played"? Come on, you feel like you are being played because you won't be getting laid. She might be playing you but you ain't Saint here either. I think, if you weren't thinking about getting laid with a total stranger at the first place , then you wouldn't have put yourself in this situation (being played ) blame no one else here Actually, I had no expectation of getting laid going into this initially. She set it up, including wanting to stay at my place. I'm going to say 'no' to that? Again, it's not about getting laid, it's about being manipulated. I feel that's what is happening here and I have no patience for it. Not the least bit. And she "might be" sick and wants me to take care of her for the weekend? Ha! I never blamed her. What I did say was that this was MY issue - I'm not feeling trusting of her after she pulled that text. I'm owning that. She can react how she wants to, and I will not judge it as wrong. But I absolutely will protect ME. I am not going to let a woman string me along. I won't even chance it. Why does someone have to be 'the bad one' here? The way I see it is that we had plans, a curve ball got thrown in and I had been smelling bull***t the whole time, and for me this confirmed it (whether it's true or not). So I bailed. I have no regrets at this point. Edited June 4, 2016 by TunaInTheBrine
Shanex Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 She was being a tease the whole time. I understand that you feel manipulated. Period sex is actually feasible (condoms, showers, towels) yet not very glamour especially as a first encounter. 1
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Again, it's not about getting laid, it's about being manipulated. I feel that's what is happening here and I have no patience for it. Not the least bit. And she "might be" sick and wants me to take care of her for the weekend? Ha! Why does someone have to be 'the bad one' here? LOL, ha! is right! Tuna, I think it's okay to admit you were just turned off. I sure would have been.... I mean you haven't even met yet and she tells you she has her "period," and wants you to "take care of her"? Who says this before even meeting? As I said, boggles the mind. I am glad you said what you said to her and tough tomatoes if she is pissed off.... not your problem.... and I think you dodged a bullet. 2
Author TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 She was being a tease the whole time. I understand that you feel manipulated. Period sex is actually feasible (condoms, showers, towels) yet not very glamour especially as a first encounter. Exactly. I probably wouldn't have had sex with her if she really was on her period. I'm not sure I would have had sex with her at all, at least not on the first night. It would have been strange to me unless sparks flew like wild. The second night, sure. Something wreaks of suspicion when a hot girl comes to town, has never met you, and is saying she wants to sleep with you. Some women (as in a A LOT of women) LOVE to tease and bait men. I don't challenge it when it happens since they want a reaction of some kind (either an exciting one or an angry bull**** one). My thinking is roll with it, see what they do, and be unphased. I was gentle but firm in my response to her saying to find somewhere else to sleep, that the issue was me not her, and that's that. Getting angry would have done nothing except maybe excite/validate her a little for getting a reaction. Nope, not from this guy. I call the shots.
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 She was being a tease the whole time. I understand that you feel manipulated. Period sex is actually feasible (condoms, showers, towels) yet not very glamour especially as a first encounter. I don't think that has anything to do with it.... she just sounds looney tunes!
Author TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 I don't think that has anything to do with it.... she just sounds looney tunes! Yes, and Ms. Looney Tunes has my home address. Good thing the police are nearby in case she decides to pop in unexpectedly.
Shanex Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 OP: Period sex with a current GF, in a RS or a marriage is not much a problem. With a stranger as I said its tricky. A tease or a bait, yes. Talking about sex stuffs all the time to you for nothing... Forget about her. Shortly. If you want hookups you may find way better options closer to you. 1
Author TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 OP: Period sex with a current GF, in a RS or a marriage is not much a problem. With a stranger as I said its tricky. A tease or a bait, yes. Talking about sex stuffs all the time to you for nothing... Forget about her. Shortly. If you want hookups you may find way better options closer to you. So true. Fortunately, I was guarded throughout all of this and did not invest any emotion in her. I would never bone a girl on her period that I barely knew or had no prior relationship with. Unconfirmed HIV statuses freak me out.
Stage5Clinger Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 OP: Period sex with a current GF, in a RS or a marriage is not much a problem. With a stranger as I said its tricky. A tease or a bait, yes. Talking about sex stuffs all the time to you for nothing... Forget about her. Shortly. If you want hookups you may find way better options closer to you. My ex, a notable cray cray, treated me like a rapist when I said I was okay with period sex.
ses Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 My period makes me feel pretty gross which is why I used to avoid it with almost all of my previous partners. It's almost hard to subject a casual partner with menstrual blood because it can look pretty gruesome, and the clean up is often messy and cumbersome. You know you're serious and/or they're effin' horny when they want to have sex during your period Yes, STDs/HIV are also a concern which is another reason to avoid it if you want to be safe. Next time, don't let a girl invite herself over to your house — book a hotel! I used to do that all the time unless they specifically asked me over.
Grapesofwrath Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I'm a little confused on one point: She is coming to your town for a business trip of hers, or she is flying in to meet you while you're on a business trip? I ask because I am curious who paid for the ticket. Otherwise, I am with you completely. If she is "sick" and has her period, wouldn't she change the plans for the trip to a time she felt better, if that was really her goal? Back away slowly and move on. 1
basil67 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Let's pretend for a moment that she is getting sick. I'd expect the text to be more like "I feel like I'm coming down with something. Hopefully I'll be fine, but if I'm a bit under the weather, do you mind if we have a lazy weekend?" "Can you look after me?" is a bit much. 6
Author TheBathWater Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 I'm a little confused on one point: She is coming to your town for a business trip of hers, or she is flying in to meet you while you're on a business trip? I ask because I am curious who paid for the ticket. Otherwise, I am with you completely. If she is "sick" and has her period, wouldn't she change the plans for the trip to a time she felt better, if that was really her goal? Back away slowly and move on. She bought her own ticket and is doing brief business here but was to stay with me for two days. She's coming regardless and should be in town now.
VeveCakes Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 OP: Period sex with a current GF, in a RS or a marriage is not much a problem. With a stranger as I said its tricky. A tease or a bait, yes. Talking about sex stuffs all the time to you for nothing... Forget about her. Shortly. If you want hookups you may find way better options closer to you. Sounds like you are butt hurt because you aren't getting laid now...I know you said that's not the case, but that's how you come off. Maybe she felt that's all you wanted and decided to bail before she got played herself.
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) Sounds like you are butt hurt because you aren't getting laid now...I know you said that's not the case, but that's how you come off. Maybe she felt that's all you wanted and decided to bail before she got played herself. I 100% disagree with that.... and HE bailed not her. SHE wanted to spend the weekend with him and have him "take care of her" because she felt sick and had her period. It's almost laughable . No it IS laughable.... lol. Edited June 4, 2016 by katiegrl
VeveCakes Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I 100% disagree with that.... and HE bailed not her. SHE wanted to spend the weekend with him and have him "take care of her" becsuse she felt sick and had her period. It's almost laughable . Well she might actually have her period and want to avoid that awkward moment when you are going for it and you have to break the bad news. She took sex off the table so he said MEH to even hanging out with her. Pretty clear signs to me.
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) Well she might actually have her period and want to avoid that awkward moment when you are going for it and you have to break the bad news. She took sex off the table so he said MEH to even hanging out with her. Pretty clear signs to me. Again don't agree but you are entitled to your opinion... To me, it sounds like the whole thing just turned him off... Note to women:. Please don't ever tell a guy before you even meet that you have your period and ask them to take care of you. Please please please. No. If you don't want to have sex that is your prerogative, just say no. Jeez. Edited June 4, 2016 by katiegrl 1
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