Do Not Ever Chase Men

[fands]

What if some guy runs away with my purse? Am I supposed to just let him get away with it?!

[SammySammy]

Several things made me come up with this already-confirmed theory that chasing men is one sure way to lose him:

1. Once he told me in a conversation that I had masculine energy...I thought it was a compliment back then...

2. He wanted me to "Act hesitant" within our sexual play

3. there were phases where I would get naturally busy and initiate less or be slightly out of reach and guess what-he was back on!

4. The reason why this man ended things with me was because "he couldn't deliver what I deserved"

5. A very similar thing happened to my best friend last year she got dumped 2 weeks after talking about marriage. Literally..2 weeks later, you guys.

6. This advice has been around till this day because it WORKS!

 

Surely you realize your experience is not a ... panacea. It doesn't apply to all situations or all men.

 

Some of us have long moved past the point where rules "work" on us. On to a different level where men and women can communicate and express what they feel rather than having to "act" a certain way in an attempt to induce a result we want.

 

Rather than trying to apply a crude understanding of "men" or "women" to our personal relationship, the couple is free to discuss, discover and apply what works best for them.

[Buddhist]

I can say with 100% certainty that this particular man in my life WAS interested since he asked me out first and was quite consistent with compliments and date ideas. AS the relationship progressed I started switching roles with him which turned him off and killed his attraction. As my attachment and chasing increased his interest in me decreased: you see the negative correlation? My behavior changed his beavior or impacted it heavily. I mean come on, it is no surprise that needy/clingy women lose the man. There are movies about it and it is happening in our real lives every day.

Another thing, when the guy first meets the girl within the initial stages he doesn't know what he wants yet, he is still "studying" her he is observing, doing his little test to see if she is gf material. That's when we mess up: overpurshing overinvesing and chasing them away.

 

And you don't think at all that it could just be the type of men that you habitually date? Aka, men who are distant, unattached and not looking for commitment? Men who are simply not compatible with you and how you naturally are?

 

My guess is you've been dumped because the guy in question could easily discern you had some kind of end-game in mind....aka a marriage proposal, rather than seeking to know who he was and enjoy your journey with him. Nothing turns people off faster than sensing an agenda. I'd apply the same logic to your friend.

 

I'm not going to argue with your experience, it is after all your experience. But I do think you've got your causality mixed up. If finding a love partner was a simply matter of adopting a socially accepted mix of behaviours according to a set formula no-one would ever bemoan being single.

 

I do not in any way subscribe to what you've stated as being 'your rules' of conduct. I frequently violate them, and yet I've had no trouble at all finding compatible partners and getting commitments out of them. I've never once been dumped. I ascribe this to choosing men who are compatible with me, albeit not always men I desire to keep.

 

To my way of thinking, while everyone out there is attempting to act out a charade, the chances of meeting anyone being authentic is very low. People can only keep up an act for so long before the real person emerges. If that real person isn't compatible with the real person they're in a relationship with, a break up occurs. It's really no more difficult than that. Personally I think it's better to be authentic upfront and let those who are turned off by who you are make their getaway in the early stages. Less time wasting on both sides.

Edited June 4, 2016 by Buddhist

[deep_night]

yes, i guess i agree with the spirit of your post. when someone likes you for YOU then they wont be unsettled if you want to see them and are nice to them. but when they are in it for the ego boost or the challenge, or they just conquer you "just in case", then i guess they'll lose interest easily. ive personally come to a point that im always with one foot out of the door, constantly talking myself out of falling for men before they prove their interest with action. it works in the sense that i end up disenchanted and not really hurt. but i dont think im happy, i still feel the void, even though i didnt shed a single tear.. fck.

[Buddhist]

The elephant in the thread here is the unstated assumption that men go into relationships with women looking for a marriage partner the way that many women do. It's not true. Plenty of men at all ages are just looking for someone to date until they get bored of them. Then they look for someone else to date. It wouldn't matter what you do, if he's not looking for anything more than dating, the relationship is ending at some point.

 

Someone asking you out on a date is not necessarily someone interviewing you for the position of 'wife'. It's often the case that you are good enough....for now. This is what many women have a hard time accepting presumably because they themselves are looking for a future husband and wouldn't bother dating someone whom they didn't see in that role.

[elaine567]

I don't think anyone really wants to be overly chased. There are limits for everyone especially in a new relationship.

It can be a bit of an ego stroke at first if someone is "crazy" about you, but it can get tiresome pretty fast if boundaries are breached and no respect is given to the individual involved.

 

I don't really feel it is a gender thing, some people love to be close, they love to be taken notice of, they love all the attention and they don't really care if there is no breathing space, others at the other end of the spectrum, like to be independent, they love their own space and they dislike being very close or being chased.

 

Some people would love to be close to one person and would love to be chased, but would rather another person, in another time and place, keep their distance, or vice versa, so its not as if the "rules" can even be applied to certain individuals.

 

People need to match their behaviour to the people they are involved with, so some want to be chased and made a fuss off, others hate it.

Being attune to other people needs is important.

 

Whilst all this "hands off" approach may work with some men, others will be turned off and go seek other conquests.

I do not really believe in fixed formulas or rules when it comes to dealing with individuals, everyone is different.

The trick is to match up.

[phineas]

Can I get Amen?!?!! I have been there. You want something, you go after it. That is what we have been taught. As women, we think that we can have/do it all. Well, we really can't. Men say that they like it when women chase them, but they really don't. They either are or are not interested in a woman. Fact. Life is not always fair. Unfortunately for many of us, this is the means we find out about the hard way.

 

I have been criticized by people on this forum for my rules / regulations / codes I live by in this arena. But facts are facts. I wish people would prove otherwise.

 

So you have achieved your relationship goals by following your own rules?

How many yrs of following did it take?

Those are facts i'd like to hear.

 

The extent of my chasing is getting rejected twice. be that a "i'm busy" without an alternative date, a flake, i'll check my schedule, or a simple no.

Either way, I lose interest.

 

Then it's up to the woman to chase me and get my interest back and they do sometimes because they were playing games and realized i wasn't going to chase.

Edited June 4, 2016 by phineas

[katiegrl]

So you have achieved your relationship goals by following your own rules?

How many yrs of following did it take?

Those are facts i'd like to hear.

 

 

 

 

----

 

The extent of my chasing is getting rejected twice. be that a "i'm busy" without an alternative date, a flake, i'll check my schedule, or a simple no.

Either way, I lose interest.

 

Then it's up to the woman to chase me and get my interest back and they do sometimes because they were playing games and realized i wasn't going to chase.

 

Of course you lost interest. Anyone, man or woman, with even a semblance of self esteem and self-respect would!

 

Rather than expect *her* to start chasing you, a better response would be to expect yourself to block, delete, NEXT ... and realize you deserve better than that crap, no matter who is doing the chasing!

 

And you say sometimes she *would* get your interest back ? Why? Why would you want to waste time dating a woman who admitted she was playing a game?

 

Not getting that...

 

No one is advocating playing games phineas, stay away from game players, they are toxic.

Edited June 4, 2016 by katiegrl

[Jabron1]

And you say sometimes she *would* get your interest back ? Why? Why would you want to waste time dating a woman who admitted she was playing a game?

 

Not getting that...

 

Sex.

 

No one is advocating playing games phineas, stay away from game players, they are toxic.

 

Everyone is playing the game. It's completely dishonest, or delusional to suggest otherwise.

 

I can't imagine life without game. Perhaps it would go something like this:

 

Man: Hello lady. Would you be interested in having some sex today?

 

Woman: Only if we are exclusive. And I would like to be married within a respectable time-frame.

 

Man: These terms are unacceptable to me. Can we negotiate?

 

Woman: Well, I could use sex, but it means that our agreement ends when I meet a suitable marriage prospect.

 

Man: These terms are more to my liking. Let's meet tonight for NSA animal sex.

 

etc, etc.

[SmartDude]

The extent of my chasing is getting rejected twice. be that a "i'm busy" without an alternative date, a flake, i'll check my schedule, or a simple no.

Either way, I lose interest.

 

Then it's up to the woman to chase me and get my interest back and they do sometimes because they were playing games and realized i wasn't going to chase.

 

This is what I do as well. I suspect that this is a common policy for guys who are popular/attractive to women. A woman making me chase her or playing hard to get is a much greater problem than a women who is a little too eager at the begining. Women who play hard to get don't even get a chance with me, they ussually just piss me off and then they are not on my mind anymore.

[NTV]

This is what I have learned after being dumped by someone I really cared about. This was the relationship/the guy that I put on the pedestal and that's when I started making all the mistakes. I know this topic is beaten to death and you hear this advice from your friends/family to glossy women's magazines. IT IS TRUE! It is so true, i cannot emphasize this enough when I say chasing men only chases them away.

 

Lot of times we don't even realize that we are chasing them, we think we are being friendly or that we must show that we're interested in. There are better ways to show you're interested such as not declining their offers to date/talk/make plans/have sex. However, every time we decide to become the social director of the relationship, start making plans when they don't, initiate more contact, over-invest and over-pursue-they start losing attraction. Men are NOT wired to be chased as evolutionary/ancestral as it sounds. Men want to chase women, not to the extreme of course, I am not saying to be impossible to get and make him jump through the hoops, but if you are overly available and you are the one pursuing him-he will eventually get bored and leave. That's what happens every time.

 

He's just not that into you is the reason why he doesn't call, doesn't ask you out, doesn't marry, doesn't define the relationship and etc. IF the man is really into you-you know it, he makes it so clear. Really, men are not that complicated as we make them to be. Everything is simple: if they like you and they are ready to be in a relationship-you know it. Stop making excuses for him ( he is busy, he is tried, he is emotionally unavailable, he is dealing with work/family drama). Men always go after the woman they truly want, if not they pull away, they give you hot and cold...all because he's just not that into you.

 

So what is the solution? Well it took me several heartaches to finally figure this one out, but basically there are 2 options.

1. If you are attracted to him/in love with him you can stick around and inspire him to come to you, but you have got to stop pursuing/chasing him.

2. You walk away and date new men that are into you.

 

I was that crazy gazelle who was chasing after the lions for years finally I have realized that it was pushing them away. Here's an interesting thing: Some guys will say that they hate the games, that they hate when women play hard to get, well they don't know what they want. Subconsciously no man is attracted to masculine energy woman who does all the pursuing and chasing, there is no thrill for him. He may even agree to go out/have sex/spend some time with you, but he will never fall in love with you, you'll never gauge his true level of interest because you are in his face all the time. So save yourself the heartache and walk away/date others if you feel like you have to chase him. Most of the time YOU have to chase HIM because he's just not that into you.

 

 

I think that here the problem with this circumstance isn't the chased/not chased thing but rather the pedestal thing. Don't ever put anyone on a pedestal---they will ALWAYS fall off.

(well, I guess excepting the whole religious figures type of thing, but that's a whole different conversation)

[katiegrl]

Sex.

 

 

 

Everyone is playing the game. It's completely dishonest, or delusional to suggest otherwise.

 

I can't imagine life without game. Perhaps it would go something like this:

 

Man: Hello lady. Would you be interested in having some sex today?

 

Woman: Only if we are exclusive. And I would like to be married within a respectable time-frame.

 

Man: These terms are unacceptable to me. Can we negotiate?

 

Woman: Well, I could use sex, but it means that our agreement ends when I meet a suitable marriage prospect.

 

Man: These terms are more to my liking. Let's meet tonight for NSA animal sex.

 

etc, etc.

 

No not everyone plays games, that thinking is really warped!

 

And thank you for suggesting I am"delusional" and "dishonest" what a lovely thing to accuse someone of ....... what a peach....

 

There is a *dance* couples do together, and certain strategies in dating to build attraction..... which is different from **attempting to manipulate** which IS a game and it's BS.

 

I actually feel a bit sorry for you if you think manipulation is healthy and normal....

 

Good gawd.

Edited June 4, 2016 by katiegrl

[Jabron1]

Okay, it's not a 'game' - it's a 'dance'

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIYS9EQWkXg

[phineas]

Sex.

 

 

 

Everyone is playing the game. It's completely dishonest, or delusional to suggest otherwise.

 

I can't imagine life without game. Perhaps it would go something like this:

 

Man: Hello lady. Would you be interested in having some sex today?

 

Woman: Only if we are exclusive. And I would like to be married within a respectable time-frame.

 

Man: These terms are unacceptable to me. Can we negotiate?

 

Woman: Well, I could use sex, but it means that our agreement ends when I meet a suitable marriage prospect.

 

Man: These terms are more to my liking. Let's meet tonight for NSA animal sex.

 

etc, etc.

 

Not just sex.

Circus sex.

 

When they come back, i just have to be a little bit of a challenge and a woman who flaked on me tree times & I told to lose my number is agreeing to drink beers in my kids wading pool at night surrounded by tiki torches and only wearing one of my wife beaters and bike shorts. (that actually happened). yeah. sometimes my game is on so good it's scary.

 

it aint gonna suck itself so why not scarf some fun when someone hands it to you on a plate while you look for a decent woman to date?

[phineas]

This is what I do as well. I suspect that this is a common policy for guys who are popular/attractive to women. A woman making me chase her or playing hard to get is a much greater problem than a women who is a little too eager at the begining. Women who play hard to get don't even get a chance with me, they ussually just piss me off and then they are not on my mind anymore.

 

There is chasing & stage5 clinger.

chasing don't bother me.

But when a chick is hounding you and you are getting pissed at how much she texts you then I run away.

[UltimatePanacea]

The elephant in the thread here is the unstated assumption that men go into relationships with women looking for a marriage partner the way that many women do. It's not true. Plenty of men at all ages are just looking for someone to date until they get bored of them. Then they look for someone else to date. It wouldn't matter what you do, if he's not looking for anything more than dating, the relationship is ending at some point.

 

Someone asking you out on a date is not necessarily someone interviewing you for the position of 'wife'. It's often the case that you are good enough....for now. This is what many women have a hard time accepting presumably because they themselves are looking for a future husband and wouldn't bother dating someone whom they didn't see in that role.

I have to agree with this, many men approach dating without agenda unlike some of us women. I am guilty of trying to push my agenda by over pursuing him into wanting to have a LTR with me. Maybe he just wanted some fun/was attracted to me physically but not interested in anything serious. The man I am talking about was well in his mid 30s I am in my early 20s and he had never been in a serious relationship before...it was a red flag but I ignored.

Either way though I understand that he was going to leave anyway but my chasing kiND of expedites the process....

[UltimatePanacea]

I think there is a difference between playing hard to get and not chasing him. Playing hard to get is as it suggests a game and yes many men will lose interest as they figure it out that you're playing some mind games. Playing hard to get includes: being flaky, turning down dates/sex too often and without a good excuse, never answering the phone and etc...

Not chasing him just means pace yourself, dont get ahead of him in the commitment department, lean back a little but still remain kind warm aND responsive, be in your feminine energy and don't initiate more than him. In other words MIRROR his behavior and level of investment.

[Gloria25]

Okay, it's not a 'game' - it's a 'dance'

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIYS9EQWkXg

 

1) I think people mistake "pursuit" for "interest"....

 

I think some men - especially men who are burnt, insecure, hurt, and/or had a lot of rejection - get gun shy and resolve not to make a move unless a woman shows genuine interest.

 

Then, what do men consider is "genuine interest" without a woman having to pursue/chase?

 

2) I think that we also live in a society where people say 'Times have changed, get with it - men can be women, women can be men and it's all good'. Well yes, now we don't ride horses around, we actually have "smart" cars.

 

But let me ask you this? Does the Sun rise in the East or the West? Hasn't the Sun been rising in the East for centuries? Well gosh darn, this is 2016, you'd think that the Sun would "get with the program" and change where it rises/sets. Heck, why won't it change places with the Moon?

 

Because, believe in God or not, while times have changed - our biology hasn't. We cannot change what we're programmed to do. Yes, some of us can change with environment, but we still have that "pull" to our biology.

 

Our biology is that men "pursue, hunt". So, even when you have these guys say that they're flattered when a woman initiates/pursues - fact is, he bores of it and while initially it is flattering, he still is lukewarm about her in the long run.

 

3) Yes, in an "established" relationship, I'm all for the back/forth of initiation. But the first stages of a RL sorta set the tone for the rest of it. If you're pursuing someone and they're not reciprocating and/or showing interest then they're just not into you.

 

And, IMO, guys should take more responsibility for reading a woman's signals and women should send out more clear signals. I've had guys approach me out of ego, arrogance and/or me simply being "polite".

 

I've had guys approach me who in no way are a "match" with me, but somehow in their head they think they got a chance. So, when they get rejected (cuz they misread a woman's signs and/or were delusional in trying to talk to a particular woman) - they wanna curse all womanhood and demand we chase them.

 

Now women, stop being nice to a guy you're not romantically interested in. Stop having orbiters. Stop dressing as if you're gonna hook up with the whole room. Show clear and straight forward interest (i.e. if a guy starts paying "special" attention to you and you like him, do something like rub his shoulders, compliment him...give him a green light).

 

That way if men were more clear about reading a woman's interest and women were more clear about displaying them, the "dance" would go more smooth instead of both people trying to lead. In a "dance" only one person leads...and, that's the man.

 

4) He/she isn't that into you. Again, goes for both parties.

 

Lemme use an example where guy initiates. You're at a party, a guy walks up to you and starts asking you stuff...Guy, if she starts talking about having a bf (even though you never met him) and/or isn't looking at you, getting giddy, having a fluid convo - she ISN'T interested...move on and don't curse womanhood cuz one chick rebuffed you.

 

Same example - but woman initiating. Gal comes over to guy, starts asking him stuff - you see him looking at other chicks while he's talking to you. At the end of the convo, if he didn't ask your number, don't offer yours - he's not interested.

 

5) I'll use two of my real-life examples...

 

-My neighbor - the one who I spent like forever trying to "interpret" this or that he did....

 

Dude, whenever he'd see me he'd literally get nervous, look and hide. Talk to me, but be short. Maybe one would say he's shy, that I should have encouraged him a bit. Ok, I did...and still, nothing.

 

His now "wife"? He actively pursued her. She didn't have to encourage, initiate, nothing.

 

Moral of the story - even "shy/insecure/rebuffed/rejected" guys go after the woman they want. IMO, she was, isn't and will never be on the same level as me, so he didn't feel intimidated with her....so, he had INTEREST in her. He PURSUED her. Again, interested guys act interested.

 

-My current guy. Cuz it took so long for him and I to kick it off, I've been in overdrive about making time for him and the effort I put into seeing him - cuz I'm trying to make up for not kicking it off with him for so long....In other words, I want him to be clear that now that we are clicking so well, I AM INTERESTED for sure.

 

Well, as of late we're having issues with meeting. No matter how much bending and initiating I'm doing, he's coming up with ten different reasons why he can't make it - but doesn't want to break it off. In other words, me taking the "lead" and initiating, arranging, etc, has taken away his biological need as a man to run the show and he's losing interest. I'm not appealing to him anymore cuz I'm the one doing all the work.

 

So yes, women pursuing/initiating doesn't work. Even "if" you can get his attention initially, he'll start getting bored and pull back cuz you're being the "man" in the RL and he needs to.

 

Yes, there are instances where it's not an issue of who's initiating - it's an issue of how "into" you they are...But, still, a man who's into you is gonna be pursuing you, and a woman who's into a guy will show clear signs of interest...PERIOD.

Edited June 4, 2016 by Gloria25

[katiegrl]

I have to agree with this, many men approach dating without agenda unlike some of us women. I am guilty of trying to push my agenda by over pursuing him into wanting to have a LTR with me. Maybe he just wanted some fun/was attracted to me physically but not interested in anything serious. The man I am talking about was well in his mid 30s I am in my early 20s and he had never been in a serious relationship before...it was a red flag but I ignored.

Either way though I understand that he was going to leave anyway but my chasing kiND of expedites the process....

 

UP, maybe a guy likes you and is attracted to you, but does not know you well enough to know whether or not he wants something serious "with you."

 

Of course many if not most people are looking for LTRs but it takes dating someone for awhile to determine if they want want one with that particular person....

 

I know it does for me..... I mean how can you expect someone to know if they want something serious with you before dating you awhile and getting to know you and how you interact together?

 

That said one year is plenty of time to determine that, so if you sense via his actions that he is not serious about you after that long, then just walk.

 

You can't force these things by pushing or chasing as you are figuring out.

 

Going forward, take your time..... no pushing prodding or pleading. Won't work anyway except to turn him off and push him away. Again as you are figuring out....

 

Relax, lower the expectations, enjoy the process, the dance, and get to know each other naturally and gradually.

 

Be open, fun, sexy, enthusiastic, expressive, feminine. Initiate sometimes and reciprocate.

 

Do not intentionally "play" hard to get, that is manipulation. No!

 

Instead BE hard to get! Because you have a life which you intend to live, happily, regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship.

 

Like I said, Keep him moving toward you instead of away from you.

 

The best relationships sort of just *flow*.

 

And are not fraught with anxiety, confusion, mixed messages...

 

Once I start feeling those things, it's next...

Edited June 4, 2016 by katiegrl

[UltimatePanacea]

I am finally starting to realize what happened in pretty much all of my failed relationships: it's either I was focusing on commitment phobes or chasing away the good guys.

I agree with Katiegrl that playing hard to get is NOT the same as chasing him down. PLaying hard to get is a stupid game and is not sincere, but not chasing him simply means you know your value and you mirror his level of interest and keep things balanced. I also agree with Katiegrl that it takes dating someone for a while in order to know if you want to commit to this person, however, what about the type of men that are old enough but never been in a serious relationship and are basically lifetime bachelors? Is it ever possible to "inspire" them into wanting something more meaningful and deep?

What about men that say they don't want marriage but then 8 months later you see them engaged or something ( My best friend's ex is now engaged)?

[SammySammy]

I am finally starting to realize what happened in pretty much all of my failed relationships: it's either I was focusing on commitment phobes or chasing away the good guys.

I agree with Katiegrl that playing hard to get is NOT the same as chasing him down. PLaying hard to get is a stupid game and is not sincere, but not chasing him simply means you know your value and you mirror his level of interest and keep things balanced. I also agree with Katiegrl that it takes dating someone for a while in order to know if you want to commit to this person, however, what about the type of men that are old enough but never been in a serious relationship and are basically lifetime bachelors? Is it ever possible to "inspire" them into wanting something more meaningful and deep?

What about men that say they don't want marriage but then 8 months later you see them engaged or something ( My best friend's ex is now engaged)?

 

Those men - in each situation - made a choice. In one instance, they decided they didn't want marriage. The next situation, they decided they did.

 

There are no games or tricks you can use to influence either decision. Either a man loves you or he doesn't. He wants to be with you or he doesn't.

[candie13]

I am finally starting to realize what happened in pretty much all of my failed relationships: it's either I was focusing on commitment phobes or chasing away the good guys.

I agree with Katiegrl that playing hard to get is NOT the same as chasing him down. PLaying hard to get is a stupid game and is not sincere, but not chasing him simply means you know your value and you mirror his level of interest and keep things balanced. I also agree with Katiegrl that it takes dating someone for a while in order to know if you want to commit to this person, however, what about the type of men that are old enough but never been in a serious relationship and are basically lifetime bachelors? Is it ever possible to "inspire" them into wanting something more meaningful and deep?

What about men that say they don't want marriage but then 8 months later you see them engaged or something ( My best friend's ex is now engaged)?

OP, don't ever look in someone else's garden. He may be engaged, he may even marry and have children only to walk away a couple of years later.

 

focus on yourself. Your needs. Ground yourself in your life. I think once that's done, you'll stop being too available and overinvesting in men. I think for a lot of women, men are a hobby, an excuse to run away from their otherwise dull life. Get busy living and enjoying yourself now that you're single. If you do that, you won't want to see a guy 3 times a week because you actually have stuff going on, places to go, people to see, things to do. It's exciting and you're enjoying yourself, instead of being home counting the hours since the dude last texted and calculating in what reasonable amount of time to answer back because you don't want to seem overinterested.

 

so while I agree with the theory of this thread, it's the practice that's the bugger. Men feel when women are desperate for a "time filler/hobby/relationship". It really matters little how often you respond and how many dates you turn down. No one can fake being aloof forever. No one can fake having a life when they don't have one.

 

That's why it's not working, because it's an act. It stops being an act when not only do you believe the things that are being said in this thread, but when you actually believe them. When being or seeing a guy stops being your number one priority because you're having such a blast anyway.

 

A lot of women look at men as their potential unique source of entertainment, instead of letting them be, giving them the space to do stuff, observing them, learning to discover them. Almost as if men are space fillers, anyone willing to date them and give them exclusivity will do. Now, that prospect really is not encouraging for anyone, men or women .

 

I know the above because I used to do exactly that. I used to do exactly that. I wasn't - I think I wasn't - exactly chasing men, but I was putting a lot of pressure on them. Why? Because I was bored with my life. And it was way easier to find a source of entertainment outside than sit down and clear the clutter in my own life. It's how I got to 35 single. Lesson learnt. It hardly ever works when one person is looking for salvation outside.

 

rant over, I seem to be in a preaching mode tonight, apologies, folks, just my 2 cents !

[Tread Carefully]

Sex.

 

 

 

Everyone is playing the game. It's completely dishonest, or delusional to suggest otherwise.

 

I can't imagine life without game. Perhaps it would go something like this:

 

Man: Hello lady. Would you be interested in having some sex today?

 

Woman: Only if we are exclusive. And I would like to be married within a respectable time-frame.

 

Man: These terms are unacceptable to me. Can we negotiate?

 

Woman: Well, I could use sex, but it means that our agreement ends when I meet a suitable marriage prospect.

 

Man: These terms are more to my liking. Let's meet tonight for NSA animal sex.

 

etc, etc.

 

Or alternatively.....

 

 

Woman: I am pretty sure that we would have some very amazing funky monkey sex together as I am extremely attracted to you and we have spectacular chemistry. However, I'd like to get to know you and see if our intellects, personalities, sense of humor etc matches up equally as well. Therefore I propose we start dating to find out. What do you think?

 

 

Man: All I heard was, something something sex something something, so yes!

 

LOL

[Jabron1]

not chasing him simply means you know your value and you mirror his level of interest and keep things balanced.

 

I'll warn you right now that this whole 'mirroring' game that women play is completely transparent to any guy with even the slightest experience. It just makes you look daft.

 

It's also incredibly annoying.

[Jabron1]

Or alternatively.....

 

 

Woman: I am pretty sure that we would have some very amazing funky monkey sex together as I am extremely attracted to you and we have spectacular chemistry. However, I'd like to get to know you and see if our intellects, personalities, sense of humor etc matches up equally as well. Therefore I propose we start dating to find out. What do you think?

 

 

Man: All I heard was, something something sex something something, so yes!

 

LOL

 

Man (reluctantly): let's get a coffee or go to a museum.

 

And game was invented