Zoee Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Hi, everyone It's been about two weeks (or more) since my boyfriend broke up with me. We have been together for about an year. I've been in relationships before (2 of them), and had my heart broken two times (but i wasn't in a relationship with the 2 guys who broke my heart. Both of them were my very good friends, and I fell in love with them after 2-3 years of freindship but they always saw me as a friend). It was different this time. I liked him from the moment i met him, and everything was so easy. No suffering, no games.. We are both 22. He never had a girlfriend before me, or any experience.. Sleeping together was the first time for both of us. So for me, this relationship was different than anything I have had in the past. I'm a person who doesn't talk very easily about my problems, and i also need emotions for intimacy. As time passed by, i never got enough, i was enjoyng the relationship. We both knew that he is going away for the summer and the semester (erasmus) but we only ever planned how we are going to keep contact during those 6 months. And then, two weeks ago, we were sitting in a park..he started saying how 'unprofitable' it is to stay in this relationship since he would be away so long. and then he started to pull out some stupid reasons which really didn't make any sense (they seemed as reasons for breakup of someone in first grade of high school-such as-we are not so similar, i dont go out much, and he adores going out etc)... I didn't know how to react, i couldn't understand what was going on. After everything..and nothing was wrong, we didn't fight, we had a lovely relationship. It was the first time I felt that I actually feel something real, and we had this awesome dynamics in a relationship, and I know that it is something not often found.. I'm very sad and depressed, i keep hoping he will change his mind, that he will somehow figure out how rare this is. He didn't have anyone before me, and i went through some **** before finding him. I can't seem to let go of the thought that he thinks that our relationship is something easy to find.. I don't know what to tell myself anymore, and I don't know how to get out of this misery I am feeling. I' havent contacted him since, because I know it is not good for me. But I can't let go of the hope..
stillafool Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 I'm so sorry. He was your first love and they are hard to get over. I guess since you guys are so young he wants to get out and party. That is not strange for someone in your age range. Please don't hold on to hope that he will come back because they rarely do. Continue NC and go out with friends and try to have fun. You will love again. 2
bummer Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Stillafool is right. Maybe NC will seem too dramatic since the breakup largely is a logistics issue, but he is making excuses to end it so he can enjoy himself guilt free. You should do the same to enjoy yourself and new people as you will certainly find new great guys out there. The more you linger in the aftermath friend zone with texts etc the more guilt he will relieve that you are over it too and the harder you'll fall if he tells you he found someone new. If you can handle the pain with continued contact as friends feel free. Just be careful with your false hope. 1
Buddhist Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I'm very sad and depressed, i keep hoping he will change his mind, that he will somehow figure out how rare this is. He didn't have anyone before me, and i went through some **** before finding him. I can't seem to let go of the thought that he thinks that our relationship is something easy to find.. He may never realise this. The bottom line is, he didn't want to be tied down to anyone. He just wants his freedom. He framed it in the way he did because there was no reason to hurt you or make you feel as if it was something you did. He just wants his freedom and that is that. I don't know what to tell myself anymore, and I don't know how to get out of this misery I am feeling. I' havent contacted him since, because I know it is not good for me. But I can't let go of the hope.. Holding out hope is part of the grieving process, hold onto it for as long as you need to. Eventually it will pass. There is no quick or easy way to go through this. It takes as long as it takes. You just have to stick with it. 2
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