Author xra Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Update: So I confronted him (safely, in a public space). He was caught completely off guard, and said that he's had a fantasy of him and me having sex with another couple. I'm not sure what exactly he was planning on doing during this 4-some (sex with me, or the other guy, or everyone, who knows). He told me that the photos were ones he sent to this guy he found of Craigslist, and says he never sent photos with his or my face in them. The guy he was talking to was bi, which is why he sent all these dick photos to him, but he wasn't planning on actually having sex with him (?!). As for the photos of the two naked women I found in the folder, he said he sent them claiming that it was me, so the other couple could see the body (the photos were from the neck down, and the body types were somewhat similar to mine). He thought that he'd try to get to know these people first, and sent the dick photo with the handwritten location/date stamp to prove he was real and local. Then, he said that after a few email exchanges with this man on CL (who apparently sent my fiance a photo of himself and his gf/wife naked), it got too weird and he stopped the communication. He claims that he deleted all emails from this exchange, and his browser history as well, so there is no way to prove or disprove anything he said. He said he never even got the name of the other man or woman. The CL post (if there ever was one) would be long gone by now, since it's been over 2 months. I really want to believe that this is all there is to the story. Even if this is an isolated incident, I still think that he cheated by going behind my back and secretly sending nudes to some strangers on CL in hopes of scoring some group sex or whatever. He says he can't believe he was so stupid, and hates himself for what he did. I don't know what to do from here. There is no way to prove or disprove anything, it seems.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 So, he's making decisions about your sex life that you never consented to and had no knowledge of. He shared pictures of you without your permission. That is disturbing on many levels, and that's assuming this version of the story is true (I would not buy that's all there is to this) There is no way on earth I would marry a guy like that. If it were me, that would end the engagement. Sorry. He's not husband material. 10
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Maybe my judgment is harder because I have been there. By the way my ex was 45 when we were together. He is now 61 and he is still addicted and putting his current wife through similar hell. Did he ever seek treatment or therapy for it? Just curious.
hippychick3 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Update: So I confronted him (safely, in a public space). He was caught completely off guard, and said that he's had a fantasy of him and me having sex with another couple. I'm not sure what exactly he was planning on doing during this 4-some (sex with me, or the other guy, or everyone, who knows). He told me that the photos were ones he sent to this guy he found of Craigslist, and says he never sent photos with his or my face in them. The guy he was talking to was bi, which is why he sent all these dick photos to him, but he wasn't planning on actually having sex with him (?!). As for the photos of the two naked women I found in the folder, he said he sent them claiming that it was me, so the other couple could see the body (the photos were from the neck down, and the body types were somewhat similar to mine). He thought that he'd try to get to know these people first, and sent the dick photo with the handwritten location/date stamp to prove he was real and local. Then, he said that after a few email exchanges with this man on CL (who apparently sent my fiance a photo of himself and his gf/wife naked), it got too weird and he stopped the communication. He claims that he deleted all emails from this exchange, and his browser history as well, so there is no way to prove or disprove anything he said. He said he never even got the name of the other man or woman. The CL post (if there ever was one) would be long gone by now, since it's been over 2 months. I really want to believe that this is all there is to the story. Even if this is an isolated incident, I still think that he cheated by going behind my back and secretly sending nudes to some strangers on CL in hopes of scoring some group sex or whatever. He says he can't believe he was so stupid, and hates himself for what he did. I don't know what to do from here. There is no way to prove or disprove anything, it seems. I find it very, very strange that he deleted ALL emails and proof of his story yet kept all those sexually explicit photos of naked women and his d***. 5
mortensorchid Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Wow... I can't imagine what you must be feeling. This is serious. This is NOT GOOD and that deserves to be in all caps. What to do? I wish I could tell you. I wish I could say I have had similar experience but I haven't. If it makes you feel any better (which it doesn't) I have known others in said situations. Some ignored it, some confronted the party in question. Neither of them ended well. You came across this by accident, you were not looking through his things. But, this happens to. If you ignore it, it will always linger there between you and him. If you confront, get ready for a scene to erupt. This is a man who is obviously doing things behind your back. He is with you because you are respectable. Get out now while the getting is still good.
Gaeta Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Did he ever seek treatment or therapy for it? Just curious. No he never did. The day I left I told him if he stopped I was ready to forgive him. He said could not stop, he never could. He had cheated on all of his wives and gf including his children's mother.
SugarLips72 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 So he was planning sex with other couples and not talking about it with you first? Ask to see his Craigs list account. Even if the ad expired, ads are in there under is account. I've placed a CL ad before, I can still access all old ads. Tell him you want to read it. He is sneaking around and not being totally honest with you. 3
Gaeta Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Update: So I confronted him (safely, in a public space). He was caught completely off guard, and said that he's had a fantasy of him and me having sex with another couple. I'm not sure what exactly he was planning on doing during this 4-some (sex with me, or the other guy, or everyone, who knows). He told me that the photos were ones he sent to this guy he found of Craigslist, and says he never sent photos with his or my face in them. The guy he was talking to was bi, which is why he sent all these dick photos to him, but he wasn't planning on actually having sex with him (?!). As for the photos of the two naked women I found in the folder, he said he sent them claiming that it was me, so the other couple could see the body (the photos were from the neck down, and the body types were somewhat similar to mine). He thought that he'd try to get to know these people first, and sent the dick photo with the handwritten location/date stamp to prove he was real and local. Then, he said that after a few email exchanges with this man on CL (who apparently sent my fiance a photo of himself and his gf/wife naked), it got too weird and he stopped the communication. He claims that he deleted all emails from this exchange, and his browser history as well, so there is no way to prove or disprove anything he said. He said he never even got the name of the other man or woman. The CL post (if there ever was one) would be long gone by now, since it's been over 2 months. I really want to believe that this is all there is to the story. Even if this is an isolated incident, I still think that he cheated by going behind my back and secretly sending nudes to some strangers on CL in hopes of scoring some group sex or whatever. He says he can't believe he was so stupid, and hates himself for what he did. I don't know what to do from here. There is no way to prove or disprove anything, it seems. Sweetie, he broke something that can never be put back together. You will never know how much of this is true and what else he could be hiding. You will live with this in the back of your mind always. He's not worth it. You only have one life to live, don't pick a life of distrust. 1
Art_Critic Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Sweetie, he broke something that can never be put back together. You will never know how much of this is true and what else he could be hiding. You will live with this in the back of your mind always. He's not worth it. You only have one life to live, don't pick a life of distrust. Best reply ever to such a post, all of it.... OP, you need to break it off with this guy... 1
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Sadly I think Gaeta and others are right. What I foresee happening is you will stay together, but the RL will slowly start eroding with you not fully trusting and him walking on eggshells. Perhaps (most likely) even continuing the behavior but trying harder to hide it from you. What he's probably kicking himself about is the fact he maintained these photos on his computer where you could find them. THAT is what he is feeling stupid about.... I suspect you will stay and hope for the best. You love him, have a long history I get that. But it will never be the same, I can't see how it ever could be. You could end it now and just save yourselves the misery of a slow erosion..... or stay and experience it eroding gradually and painfully. Your choice. Good luck with whatever you decide..... 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) Update: So I confronted him (safely, in a public space). He was caught completely off guard, and said that he's had a fantasy of him and me having sex with another couple. I'm not sure what exactly he was planning on doing during this 4-some (sex with me, or the other guy, or everyone, who knows). He told me that the photos were ones he sent to this guy he found of Craigslist, and says he never sent photos with his or my face in them. The guy he was talking to was bi, which is why he sent all these dick photos to him, but he wasn't planning on actually having sex with him (?!). As for the photos of the two naked women I found in the folder, he said he sent them claiming that it was me, so the other couple could see the body (the photos were from the neck down, and the body types were somewhat similar to mine). He thought that he'd try to get to know these people first, and sent the dick photo with the handwritten location/date stamp to prove he was real and local. Then, he said that after a few email exchanges with this man on CL (who apparently sent my fiance a photo of himself and his gf/wife naked), it got too weird and he stopped the communication. He claims that he deleted all emails from this exchange, and his browser history as well, so there is no way to prove or disprove anything he said. He said he never even got the name of the other man or woman. The CL post (if there ever was one) would be long gone by now, since it's been over 2 months. I really want to believe that this is all there is to the story. Even if this is an isolated incident, I still think that he cheated by going behind my back and secretly sending nudes to some strangers on CL in hopes of scoring some group sex or whatever. He says he can't believe he was so stupid, and hates himself for what he did. I don't know what to do from here. There is no way to prove or disprove anything, it seems. Once again, I'm going to try and keep myself in check here because what I really want to do is give you a good shake sweetie. The thing you must remember when confronting a wayward partner is IF you're 'lucky' enough to have one that at least admits to some wrong doing and then tries to explain his actions away to you, there is ALWAYS MORE...WAY MORE...TO THE STORY than what he's admitting. You can believe about 10% of what he's telling you. I also think you really need to spend some serious time and think about what he was actually doing. He was actively soliciting a strange couple he found on Craig's List (of all places!!) to have sex with the two of you WITHOUT your knowledge or consent. WAKE UP SWEETIE!!!!!! Having fantasies are great and healthy for the most part and having threesomes and swinging fantasies aren't all that uncommon BUT to actively search, solicit, communicate, interact, exchange and plan without your approval is taking things to a level I find incredibly disturbing. Do what you want but I think it's unanimous by the members posting here that your man isn't worthy of you. And for the members who say you can save this, I would love to see how they would react if their partners were caught doing the same thing. Trust is precious and when someone chucks that away in the manner in which your man did it is unforgivable in my eyes. He took it too far including you in his web of crazy. Edited June 4, 2016 by Michelle ma Belle 11
Deidre Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Say good bye and block his number. He's a liar. I don't believe he was looking to have a threesome with you, that's a lie. He made it up because he was caught. He was cheating on you, plain and simple. It will hurt, but I'd totally move on. If someone is doing this at this stage, can you imagine how he will be taking advantage of you a year from now? I'd end it. Sorry you're in this situation. 1
Author xra Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Once again, I'm going to try and keep myself in check here because what I really want to do is give you a good shake sweetie. The thing you must remember when confronting a wayward partner is IF you're 'lucky' enough to have one that at least admits to some wrong doing and then tries to explain his actions away to you, there is ALWAYS MORE...WAY MORE...TO THE STORY than what he's admitting. You can believe about 10% of what he's telling you. I also think you really need to spend some serious time and think about what he was actually doing. He was actively soliciting a strange couple he found on Craig's List (of all places!!) to have sex with the two of you WITHOUT your knowledge or consent. WAKE UP SWEETIE!!!!!! Having fantasies are great and healthy for the most part and having threesomes and swinging fantasies aren't all that uncommon BUT to actively search, solicit, communicate, interact, exchange and plan without your approval is taking things to a level I find incredibly disturbing. Do what you want but I think it's unanimous by the members posting here that your man isn't worthy of you. And for the members who say you can save this, I would love to see how they would react if their partners were caught doing the same thing. Trust is precious and when someone chucks that away in the manner in which your man did it is unforgivable in my eyes. He took it too far including you in his web of crazy. Thank you. I hear you, I really do. And I'm not an idiot, despite what it sounds like. I know that broken trust is veryyyy difficult to repair, and even impossible in some cases. I don't know what will happen in this case. What I'm most torn up by is that I've been cheated on and lied to before (twice, actually). Guess i have terrible luck, or maybe terrible taste. And I left those two liars and cheaters, and never regretted those decisions. This guy though, I always thought he's different. Everyone who knows us as a couple was always amazed by what a good match we are. I never before wanted to get married and have kids with a man, and he changed all that. I've always been cautious in relationships, but this is the first time I truly felt that I could let my walls down and just be happy. If he is another cheater and liar, even if his story is 100% true and all he wanted was to 'surprise' me with this swinger party... even so, he still lied and went behind my back. And broke my trust, in the worst way. If this guy, who seemed like the kindest, sweetest man I've ever met, turns out to be a lying d-bag... I don't think I can ever get over that. I don't know if I can ever trust or love anyone again. And I don't think I'll ever find someone whom I can love and trust. I'm independent and quite content being single for a while, but I don't know if I can spend my life alone. Do true, loving, happy relationships ever happen anymore?? From everything I've ever witnessed, the answer is no. I don't have a single girlfriend who's had a happy ending. Granted, I'm still pretty young (late 20s), but is it even worth trying? Hell, even my father cheated on my mom after 20 years of marriage. I want to believe that love, honesty, faith, good people still exist out there somewhere, but that just sounds naive.
Deidre Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I read that you're engaged. I just broke off my engagement this week, and it was nothing like your situation, but just a gut feeling after not seeing eye to eye on some issues, that marriage would be a hardship for us both, if we went forward with it. Your situation is worse in the sense that you're about to marry someone who is already lying and doing sleazy things behind your back. His behavior is sleazy, and deceptive...and not quite sure if it's even true, or he was cheating and covering it up with another lie. Too many things to sort out, I'd really end this before you marry him. This is the writing on the wall moment. 3
BaileyB Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that this has happened... You are a good person and a good partner and it's very sad that this man was not more worthy of you love and trust. Take care.
Buddhist Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) However, I have to be honest and say that outside of the tendency to be spendy on bicycles, he never really had any faults in my eyes. He's loving and caring, he has many great friends and loves his family, always treated me like his #1 priority, etc. He's literally the most 'pure-hearted' guy I've ever met, which is why I fell for him in the first place. Which makes the current situation all the more shocking. And I was in a relationship with a guy like this and it ended....badly. When someone's an angel, it's a facade. Be worried when you've met the 'perfect guy' he doesn't exist, anywhere. They are like this so that no-one would ever suspect. Either that or the tension of maintaining this pretence of perfect son/boyfriend/husband is channeled into their alter-ego. Good healthy, normal relationships experience frustrations, the odd bickering, annoying habits and foibles that drive you up the wall. That is the sign that you are interacting with a real, authentic person. People are not perfect, when they appear so it's because it's a pretence. Why do you think stories like this are so unbelievable? Because the true character is so far away from what people know of the individual involved. Just about every psycho story is like this. Explosive anger is your big heads up here. You know it exists in him but do you know why? Because it's hard keeping up a pretence and occasionally the real person creeps out. Edited June 4, 2016 by Buddhist 11
kidm Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Thank you. I hear you, I really do. And I'm not an idiot, despite what it sounds like. I know that broken trust is veryyyy difficult to repair, and even impossible in some cases. I don't know what will happen in this case. What I'm most torn up by is that I've been cheated on and lied to before (twice, actually). Guess i have terrible luck, or maybe terrible taste. And I left those two liars and cheaters, and never regretted those decisions. This guy though, I always thought he's different. Everyone who knows us as a couple was always amazed by what a good match we are. I never before wanted to get married and have kids with a man, and he changed all that. I've always been cautious in relationships, but this is the first time I truly felt that I could let my walls down and just be happy. If he is another cheater and liar, even if his story is 100% true and all he wanted was to 'surprise' me with this swinger party... even so, he still lied and went behind my back. And broke my trust, in the worst way. If this guy, who seemed like the kindest, sweetest man I've ever met, turns out to be a lying d-bag... I don't think I can ever get over that. I don't know if I can ever trust or love anyone again. And I don't think I'll ever find someone whom I can love and trust. I'm independent and quite content being single for a while, but I don't know if I can spend my life alone. Do true, loving, happy relationships ever happen anymore?? From everything I've ever witnessed, the answer is no. I don't have a single girlfriend who's had a happy ending. Granted, I'm still pretty young (late 20s), but is it even worth trying? Hell, even my father cheated on my mom after 20 years of marriage. I want to believe that love, honesty, faith, good people still exist out there somewhere, but that just sounds naive. So you'd rather stay, turn a blind eye, and keep living this fairytale of the "kindest, sweetest man"? Even if what he described is true, it is still truly APPALLING but I don't believe a word of what he his saying. I suspect he is living a double life and you haven't even scratched the surface. Did you take the advice that a few people provided on here about searching for the pictures on google images to determine where they have been used? This is easy to do and could be invaluable. For example, if these images of women who have similar body types to you are not generally-available online, that would be a huge red flag. He has proven to be liar so I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I fear that you've already made up your mind and are going to accept his explanation so that your fairytale is not destroyed. An honest and faithful man in a committed relationship who is engaged to be married doesn't just create one-off craigslist ad and chat with a bisexual man about a possible threesome. Something doesn't sound right. He is probably going to lay low for a bit (maybe not as some can be brazen) but a leopard doesn't change its spots. Good luck! 4
MargoJones Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I am so sorry you're going through this. How heartbreaking! I'm glad you found the photos BEFORE you married him. He is a cheater, and if you marry him, he's going to cheat throughout your marriage. That's just who he is. Again, so glad you found the photos before you married him. Don't fall for any story he tells you that "explains" the photos. He is having casual sex with strangers, or trying to, and that is high level cheating. I'm really aggravated by this guy and I am not even in this situation! What a horrible thing to do to you! And, even worse that he manufactured this whole gentleman persona to get a quality woman that he totally doesn't deserve. Grrrr. (((hugs))) I'm so sorry this happened to you! You can always tell him your dad doesn't approve of the marriage after all, so you will not be able to marry him. When he asks why, tell him your dad didn't like his recent photography and hand him the photos. Do NOT listen to any story or explanation. Just leave. Again, so sorry you're going through this. 1
Deidre Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 And I was in a relationship with a guy like this and it ended....badly. When someone's an angel, it's a facade. Be worried when you've met the 'perfect guy' he doesn't exist, anywhere. They are like this so that no-one would ever suspect. Either that or the tension of maintaining this pretence of perfect son/boyfriend/husband is channeled into their alter-ego. Good healthy, normal relationships experience frustrations, the odd bickering, annoying habits and foibles that drive you up the wall. That is the sign that you are interacting with a real, authentic person. People are not perfect, when they appear so it's because it's a pretence. Why do you think stories like this are so unbelievable? Because the true character is so far away from what people know of the individual involved. Just about every psycho story is like this. Explosive anger is your big heads up here. You know it exists in him but do you know why? Because it's hard keeping up a pretence and occasionally the real person creeps out. This is an excellent post!! 1
VeveCakes Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 What you found was probably just a small percentage of what you would find if you went digging. Ask me how I know. People who peruse Craig's list aren't one time offenders. I agree he is probably gay or bi. I also think he has probably met up with others or planning too, and that there are a lot more emails out there. You could always catfish him with a Craigslist ad about a couple looking for sex... but you already have all the info you need. If you stay with this man you will always be worried abot what he is up to. And will have a good reason to do so. 2
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 (edited) Thank you. I hear you, I really do. And I'm not an idiot, despite what it sounds like. I know that broken trust is veryyyy difficult to repair, and even impossible in some cases. I don't know what will happen in this case. What I'm most torn up by is that I've been cheated on and lied to before (twice, actually). Guess i have terrible luck, or maybe terrible taste. And I left those two liars and cheaters, and never regretted those decisions. This guy though, I always thought he's different. Everyone who knows us as a couple was always amazed by what a good match we are. I never before wanted to get married and have kids with a man, and he changed all that. I've always been cautious in relationships, but this is the first time I truly felt that I could let my walls down and just be happy. If he is another cheater and liar, even if his story is 100% true and all he wanted was to 'surprise' me with this swinger party... even so, he still lied and went behind my back. And broke my trust, in the worst way. If this guy, who seemed like the kindest, sweetest man I've ever met, turns out to be a lying d-bag... I don't think I can ever get over that. I don't know if I can ever trust or love anyone again. And I don't think I'll ever find someone whom I can love and trust. I'm independent and quite content being single for a while, but I don't know if I can spend my life alone. Do true, loving, happy relationships ever happen anymore?? From everything I've ever witnessed, the answer is no. I don't have a single girlfriend who's had a happy ending. Granted, I'm still pretty young (late 20s), but is it even worth trying? Hell, even my father cheated on my mom after 20 years of marriage. I want to believe that love, honesty, faith, good people still exist out there somewhere, but that just sounds naive. What do you mean "if" he is a liar and a cheater ...... "if" it turns out he is a lying d-bag, there is no "if" in this scenario, he IS those things... what are you thinking? He lacks integrity. He lacks honesty. He lacks character. Period the end. It doesn't matter that everyone thought you were a great couple, or that you thought he was "different". None of that matters now. What matters now is that you have discovered he is not who you "thought" he was, and now that you do know, you open your eyes and deal with the reality of the situation, think of yourself and your future children ...... what's in your and their best interests..... and take the appropriate steps to move forward ....ideally without him. Be thankful you found out now rather than after you are married with 2+ kids. You are still very young. Still plenty of time to meet a great guy with integrity and strong character...who doesn't lie and deceive and cheat. Who isn't bi or gay and who is not interested in threesomes or foursomes ....good god. You deserve that and don't ever lose sight of that... ever ever. Edited June 4, 2016 by katiegrl 7
dreamingoftigers Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I mean, this sounds great and all, but we literally have built a life together. We are leasing an apartment in both of our names, bought all the furniture together, all our friends and relatives know each other, etc. It's not as easy as locking him out and saying 'FU, have a nice life'. Also, I f***ing love him. Imagine how much more effed up and difficult it gets with kids and a looming divorce involved. Not to sound snark, but the would have given just about anything to have that knowledge pre-marriage. You don't know him as well as you think you do. He's not the guy you thought he was and he's screwing you over Get out now before he gives you a gift you can't return like a crazy stalker other-girlfriend or an STD.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 OP, there is no "if" here - he is a liar. He is deceiving you. I know you must be in shock and trying to find ways to make sense of this. But you must realize that the man you thought you were engaged to doesn't exist. You need to get yourself tested for STIs. I would not trust him that nothing more has happened. His story doesn't make any sense. Had you ever expressed a desire to swing? If not, you know he's full of BS. I think you weren't part of his plan at all. Sorry. 3
Timshel Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I agree with some posters that this is the end of the line....but it is my opinion. OP has to make her own conclusion and it needs to be from her own heart and she needs to feel strong about it. So xra went and stepped in a hill of cr*p. Sweetie, clear your head, take a minute and be still. All of the answers are in the quiet and calm..they always have been. So again, are you able to take some time away and let yourself/mind/soul center? Whatever you choose to do has to be your own, otherwise it won't settle. Woman, if it was myself....no, nope. 3
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Update: So I confronted him (safely, in a public space). He was caught completely off guard, and said that he's had a fantasy of him and me having sex with another couple. I'm not sure what exactly he was planning on doing during this 4-some (sex with me, or the other guy, or everyone, who knows). He told me that the photos were ones he sent to this guy he found of Craigslist, and says he never sent photos with his or my face in them. The guy he was talking to was bi, which is why he sent all these dick photos to him, but he wasn't planning on actually having sex with him (?!). As for the photos of the two naked women I found in the folder, he said he sent them claiming that it was me, so the other couple could see the body (the photos were from the neck down, and the body types were somewhat similar to mine). He thought that he'd try to get to know these people first, and sent the dick photo with the handwritten location/date stamp to prove he was real and local. Then, he said that after a few email exchanges with this man on CL (who apparently sent my fiance a photo of himself and his gf/wife naked), it got too weird and he stopped the communication. He claims that he deleted all emails from this exchange, and his browser history as well, so there is no way to prove or disprove anything he said. He said he never even got the name of the other man or woman. The CL post (if there ever was one) would be long gone by now, since it's been over 2 months. I really want to believe that this is all there is to the story. Even if this is an isolated incident, I still think that he cheated by going behind my back and secretly sending nudes to some strangers on CL in hopes of scoring some group sex or whatever. He says he can't believe he was so stupid, and hates himself for what he did. I don't know what to do from here. There is no way to prove or disprove anything, it seems. There's always some potentially plausible explanation, including bigfoot and aliens, and con men get by in this world by exploiting the narrative of that gray area and getting ppl to believe what they want to believe. :-/ 10
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