jelly79 Posted June 24, 2005 Posted June 24, 2005 Have been with my boyfriend a long time (almost a 1/4 of my life!) and im still crazy about him. He is almost 30, i am 25 Weve had alot of problems the last few months and i could see him drifting off more towards his friends and as he admitted last night he 'took me for granted' and made them his priority more and more. Weve been split up for over 5 weeks now. Neither of us having seeing anyone else to my knowledge- it was an awful break up. But my choice- i had moved country and was so stressed out with mainly: His partying (a little drinking, recreationalk drugs) His taking me for granted His friend's in my face 24/7, one who shared the apartment with us His l'ittle lies over sneaking behind my back to watch porn, despite telling him over and over that it was turning me off him, and when he lied to me about watching it i caught him lying again. It broke my trust. As did him taking girls numbers 'friends' that i didnt know. I even found a girls email in his wallet after a weekend away with the lads, which he said he was innocent. All of that made me so resentful towards him and deadened all my feelings. I felt humiliated and he didnt seem to notice. I hit rock bootom and packed my stuff and quietly left without saying bye. Since then weve rowed non-stop. He said it was my fault - i left and i gave up and i blamed him for being such a selfish bastard. I gave up alot for us to stay together and he hasnt really made that much effort to win me back. So despite asking me to come- i wont. Not the way things are. Im staying with a friend.Its been real tuff in a new country and i felt so alone, but im feeling stronger. For years he was always a beautiful and kind person, but i dont know what went wrong I think he really loves me, but hes caught up in this **** right now, i dont know what to do, he says hes sacred to get back together in case we fight. I dont know what to do, i am expecting everyone to say walk away, but i just want some perspective please xxx
sarah12 Posted June 24, 2005 Posted June 24, 2005 I'm not quite sure what kind of perspective you're looking for here, as you've already walked out on him, and he doesn't seem willing to reconcile. You've said yourself that all the things he's done has made you resentful and "deadened" the feelings you've had. These are some pretty strong words of anger that won't be resolved unless the both of you are willing to put in a LOT of effort to make it work. Not to mention the lines of communication you've got going - you walking out without saying bye, him blaming you, you blaming him - do you really think this is going to stop if you get back together? So as you've expected, I'd avise you to walk away and don't turn back. Think about it, what is there in your relationship to hold onto?
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