carhill Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Yeah, the sex urge is the lizard brain talking. Sometimes, for some people, the big brain concurs and casual sex results. For others, the two never agree and the big brain, if it's the one that runs the show, rules. I confine sex to only committed relationships or marriage so the lizard brain doesn't get fed, though it is a tenacious devil. Heh.
Author Laprus9 Posted June 3, 2016 Author Posted June 3, 2016 Yeah, the sex urge is the lizard brain talking. Sometimes, for some people, the big brain concurs and casual sex results. For others, the two never agree and the big brain, if it's the one that runs the show, rules. I confine sex to only committed relationships or marriage so the lizard brain doesn't get fed, though it is a tenacious devil. Heh. Tell me about it, the right woman can bring it out of me, but I have to have passion and feelings for a woman, I can't just stick it in. I've had propositions but I have always turned them down. I do think that's weird because most men would have just stuck their little johnny in and had a few smashes. Practise makes perfect, so I hear.
joseb Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Tell me about it, the right woman can bring it out of me, but I have to have passion and feelings for a woman, I can't just stick it in. I've had propositions but I have always turned them down. I do think that's weird because most men would have just stuck their little johnny in and had a few smashes. Practise makes perfect, so I hear. Oh I need some passion and feelings too, I'm pretty fussy about where I put it As you point out, you can relieve the urge yourself if you need to. But I can get genuinely attracted to a woman and sleep with her and keep it casual without getting into any of the relationship bs.
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Good for you, OP - at least you're not using women as a sperm-release receptacle. If you're happy, that's that.
mortensorchid Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Maybe you ha e had a bad experience you are not sharing here. I have met many guys (and girls) who think the same things due to some past experience. You (and others) have to to try again if you want success. Because you will have many a bad experience before you have a good one.
Author Laprus9 Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Oh I need some passion and feelings too, I'm pretty fussy about where I put it As you point out, you can relieve the urge yourself if you need to. But I can get genuinely attracted to a woman and sleep with her and keep it casual without getting into any of the relationship bs. That's an art form, right there. I'd get attached, get hurt and then spend a few months whining about it. Maybe you ha e had a bad experience you are not sharing here. I have met many guys (and girls) who think the same things due to some past experience. You (and others) have to to try again if you want success. Because you will have many a bad experience before you have a good one. I have had numerous bad experiences, in fact I've never had a good experience, so yes you are right and that's what I meant when I said I am happier on my own. No woe, near frustration, no stress, no games, no physiological warfare, no problems. I'm laid back, I'm chilled, I'm happy and that's important to me.
Karine26 Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I know a few guys like this and they all have the same thing in common: They got burned bc they treated women are full of drama and/or didn't even respect themselves with the utmost respect and got burned. I don't know your story but it seems like the more I hear men's stories (and the more I read these threads) they for some reason go above and beyond for slutty women with lots of issues whereas there are tons of normal, nice women wondering where the nice guys are. I realize women do this too with men. Again, I'm not saying this is the case with you but maybe if men (and women) learn to leave when they see the red flags in the beginning there would be less feeling like you have wasted time and energy on women. Pick the right ones I once had a guy tell me he could't date me bc I didn't nag him and left him alone when he watched football on Sundays with his friends. He said that bc of that he got the feeling that I didn't care about him. I guess this is what guys have become accustomed to and don't know how it feels to be with a secure woman. How sad. That was a huge turn off for me and was over it within 45 minutes lol Anyway, do what is right for you. I really do feel though that if you put energy into the right one and not ignore you gut it'll be worth it. You are still young so I wouldn't really worry. It's your life. Good luck!
Blanco Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I'll disagree with the above poster. I usually got a long time in between relationships. I don't even really date casually in between. I invest a lot in my relationships, so when they end, I usually feel a mix of emotionally drained, melancholy, and ready to be alone for a while. I've had good and bad relationships. But all of my post-relationship phases have played out this way. It does get lonely sometimes, but I'm not interested in using someone to fill a void. Nothing healthy blooms from that method and it creates a sense of dependency, where you almost can't deal with the fallout of a breakup without using another person as an emotional crutch. 1
VeveCakes Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 But yet here you all are on a relationship forum ... 1
Karine26 Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I'll disagree with the above poster. I usually got a long time in between relationships. I don't even really date casually in between. I invest a lot in my relationships, so when they end, I usually feel a mix of emotionally drained, melancholy, and ready to be alone for a while. I've had good and bad relationships. But all of my post-relationship phases have played out this way. It does get lonely sometimes, but I'm not interested in using someone to fill a void. Nothing healthy blooms from that method and it creates a sense of dependency, where you almost can't deal with the fallout of a breakup without using another person as an emotional crutch. Well I feel like there's a bit of a difference between wanting to be alone for awhile in between relationships (totally fair and very mature) and feeling like you just give up or not interested in having feelings for someone again. The OP has the characteristics of the guys I mentioned in my above post. They all (surprisingly lol) admitted I was right that they had a pattern for falling for the same type of woman (drama queen) and was just so completely burned out to the point where they didn't even want to try anymore when in the end, it turns out that they played more of a role in feeling this way bc they kept choosing the same type of girl. I'm not saying this is right in all cases where men feel this way but I'd be pretty confident in saying it plays out this way a lot.
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I know a few guys like this and they all have the same thing in common: They got burned bc they treated women are full of drama and/or didn't even respect themselves with the utmost respect and got burned. I don't know your story but it seems like the more I hear men's stories (and the more I read these threads) they for some reason go above and beyond for slutty women with lots of issues whereas there are tons of normal, nice women wondering where the nice guys are. I realize women do this too with men. Again, I'm not saying this is the case with you but maybe if men (and women) learn to leave when they see the red flags in the beginning there would be less feeling like you have wasted time and energy on women. Pick the right ones I once had a guy tell me he could't date me bc I didn't nag him and left him alone when he watched football on Sundays with his friends. He said that bc of that he got the feeling that I didn't care about him. I guess this is what guys have become accustomed to and don't know how it feels to be with a secure woman. How sad. That was a huge turn off for me and was over it within 45 minutes lol Anyway, do what is right for you. I really do feel though that if you put energy into the right one and not ignore you gut it'll be worth it. You are still young so I wouldn't really worry. It's your life. Good luck! I have a male friend, early 50s, that simply don't have the energy to put in the planning and jump through the hoops for women anymore. It just seems like a chore to him. Not saying he's been burnt, but it does seem a lot of women have made it more difficult for men to approach them, ask them out, and do the game playing / phone tag thing. I knew a guy that would give up after leaving a message after ONE phone call to a woman, where she didn't return his call. His female friends would tell him, "He gives up too easily." That he should continue to badger a woman into going out with him. That way, she knows repeated phone calls to her shows HER he's willing to put some work into her. And who wants to put THAT kind of work. He even had women drill him with qualifying questions, sizing him up a a suitable partner, as if they could make any USE of him as to someone they genuinely enjoy. It's like men have become utilitarian. Now it's all "me, me, me", pretty much on both sides of the genders. It's become all commodity-based and "What do YOU have to bring to the table/offer?!" I don't want to be a part of that. 1
Tahirthegreat Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I have a few family members like that. ALl of them have had women do some terrible things to them and they no longer care for dating, marriage etc. I think its a normal reaction to being treated unfairly, nothing wrong with it at all.
Karine26 Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 I have a male friend, early 50s, that simply don't have the energy to put in the planning and jump through the hoops for women anymore. It just seems like a chore to him. Not saying he's been burnt, but it does seem a lot of women have made it more difficult for men to approach them, ask them out, and do the game playing / phone tag thing. I knew a guy that would give up after leaving a message after ONE phone call to a woman, where she didn't return his call. His female friends would tell him, "He gives up too easily." That he should continue to badger a woman into going out with him. That way, she knows repeated phone calls to her shows HER he's willing to put some work into her. And who wants to put THAT kind of work. He even had women drill him with qualifying questions, sizing him up a a suitable partner, as if they could make any USE of him as to someone they genuinely enjoy. It's like men have become utilitarian. Now it's all "me, me, me", pretty much on both sides of the genders. It's become all commodity-based and "What do YOU have to bring to the table/offer?!" I don't want to be a part of that. Wow. I get it. That doesn't sound fun at all. I'm 20 years younger and I feel like its not going to get better as we get older. I had a guy say that since I wasn't a Kobe Bryant fan it was a done deal hahaha There are some doosies out there lol I think bc of OLD people know that a bigger better deal can be located at their fingertips so they have unrealistic expectations, even when they are not quite the catch themselves.
Blanco Posted June 5, 2016 Posted June 5, 2016 Well I feel like there's a bit of a difference between wanting to be alone for awhile in between relationships (totally fair and very mature) and feeling like you just give up or not interested in having feelings for someone again. The OP has the characteristics of the guys I mentioned in my above post. They all (surprisingly lol) admitted I was right that they had a pattern for falling for the same type of woman (drama queen) and was just so completely burned out to the point where they didn't even want to try anymore when in the end, it turns out that they played more of a role in feeling this way bc they kept choosing the same type of girl. I'm not saying this is right in all cases where men feel this way but I'd be pretty confident in saying it plays out this way a lot. Well, truthfully, I can relate a bit to the OP and some of the others who have agreed with him in that I just can't be bothered to be involved with someone right now. That's always a pending status, though, as I'm not going to shut down someone who would be a great fit for me. But I see the number of people around me in unhappy relationships and it just doesn't appeal to me at all. I'd rather be single than involved for the sake of not being single.
Revolver Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 I have a very high sex drive and masturbate at least twice a week. I just don't feel like going through all the hoops and survivor style last man left competition over females. It also doesn't help I get rejected by every female I've tried to approach over the course of my life. I get such bad looks when I'm trying to approach any girl. Whether she average or hot. It's always the same reaction. I don't even try anymore;)
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