Laprus9 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I find women attractive, so I am not an asexual but I am so content with being single that I have no reason to date or no motivation to be in a relationship. At the moment a beautiful woman at work is interested in me and I do like her, I am attracted to her and we do get on with each other, but I just don't want to give it a shot, I can't be bothered. Every-time I get close to a woman or things happen, it ends and I always end up feeling sad, but when I am single, I am always happy, always full of life. I find women drain that out of me.
Conviction Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Not weird at all. You'll probably change your mind at some point and be open to it, who knows. I remember being that way right after my separation. The thought of a relationship made me cringe and I had no desire to be in one. I'm kind of in that mindset now actually. I've been in a couple relationships that failed, and countless dates, and you're right it starts to drain you after awhile and being single suddenly appeals more.
The_Dork_Lard Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 No it's not weird. You've just seen behind the candy coating and realised relationships and women aren't what you've imagined them to be. I'm also at this point in life. No woman is anywhere near important enough for me to bother dating them. They're mostly a drain, a pain in the arse, and a liability of some sort . Sure I get occasional fleeting feelings of romantic attraction, but I know what's in store if I pursue it. So these days I date myself, I pursue me, I invest in me, and like you, I'm strangely content.
Author Laprus9 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 I'm glad I am not alone in this. I see a lot of people desperately hoping that their hot first date becomes their special someone and for me, I'd rather play Overwatch on my PC with a nice cup of green tea (lemon and ginger flavor). Dating, romance, relationships and sex just aren't for me.
Jabron1 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 You have got the fundamental, crucial detail of this entire game right. Few men ever do. Want to know the secret? I'll tell you: Never put women on a pedestal. 2
Author Laprus9 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 You have got the fundamental, crucial detail of this entire game right. Few men ever do. Want to know the secret? I'll tell you: Never put women on a pedestal. I haven't done that for years. I never see any woman as being worth more than me, she ****s and farts the same way I do and she's equal to me. 2
Miss Peach Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 How old are you OP? Usually I've seen that from older men when they stop producing as much testosterone. They often aren't as sex crazed as younger men.
Author Laprus9 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 How old are you OP? Usually I've seen that from older men when they stop producing as much testosterone. I'm 27 years of age.
The_Dork_Lard Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 for me, I'd rather play Overwatch on my PC with a nice cup of green tea (lemon and ginger flavor). Ha ha ha, I'd rather sit in bed reading Philip Larkin with a few cans of beer and some dark chocolate. I could never understand people who used to say these things, now I can.
Conviction Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 You have got the fundamental, crucial detail of this entire game right. Few men ever do. Want to know the secret? I'll tell you: Never put women on a pedestal. Truth. Do that, and get burned.
Jabron1 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 How old are you OP? Usually I've seen that from older men when they stop producing as much testosterone. They often aren't as sex crazed as younger men. A guy can put that energy to anything. This is why so many nerds end up so successful, and then they complain that their success isn't attracting the women It's why in combat sports, we don't f*ck for a few weeks before a tournament or fight. Truth. Do that, and get burned. Guys that do this are nothing but tools (literally).
thecrucible Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 You don't have to feel like dating all the time. As a single person, there are times I feel more lovelorn and other times when I'm too busy to think about it. Honestly a healthy dose of scepticism is a good thing. But too much scepticism just makes you miss out on potential because you'll generalise and misread situations. And yeah I do see what you mean. The element of the chase is exciting but mentally tiring and it's easy not to feel up to it. I think you should still consider this lady but give up if it's too hard to chase her and then you'll save a great deal of dignity and won't feel so drained. But yeah if it's not the right time then it's not the right time and the time will eventually come around when you do feel up to it again.
Buddhist Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 I'd say your issue sounds more like romantic depression than anything else. It's possible to feel the way about just one aspect of life, you know. If it's not bothering you then why worry about it? You know what? It's not a required identity to be jerked around by your own hormones.
carhill Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Is it weird for a guy to have no motivation or interest in women and dating? Wierd? Nah, outside the norm or average, probably. Hetero men are chemically impelled to mate so a guy who's got normal mating chemicals and feels 'meh' is IMO outlier. I find women attractive, so I am not an asexual but I am so content with being single that I have no reason to date or no motivation to be in a relationship. Yup, BTDT. However, that was after long experience, like a few decades. As a young guy I'd bash my face into that wall repeatedly and seemingly oblivious to the pain. At the moment a beautiful woman at work is interested in me and I do like her, I am attracted to her and we do get on with each other, but I just don't want to give it a shot, I can't be bothered. Yeah, I call that 'timing'. You're apparently 'meh' and it is what it is. If it don't flow, let it go. Every-time I get close to a woman or things happen, it ends and I always end up feeling sad, but when I am single, I am always happy, always full of life. I find women drain that out of me. Old guy tip: Accept the day to day and when feeling drained, or draining, move on. Nothing in life is forever. Even under the best of circumstances, we die. The key IMO is to authentically live in, behave in and accept the moment and let it go without expectation of what that closeness brings. It could bring a life partner. It could bring a few dates. It could bring a couple hours of fun. It could bring nothing. I spent the last weekend with two single women, a rarity for me. What did I do? Went fishing at the beach with my best friend and we competed for the catch. He got more fish but mine were bigger The ladies and his wife did their girl stuff. I only saw them at dinner. That was plenty for me. Life is good.
jen1447 Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Dating, romance, relationships and sex just aren't for me. Not even sex? I've seen guys get burned out on romance and relationships but usually not sex.
ZA Dater Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 As long as you are happy who are others to question your choices. I think if you were unhappy like so many people who struggle to date are then it would be a different story. That meh feeling is quite a profound one to say the least, I find most ladies to be meh. As for sex, well I guess guys who cant ever get it just learn to live without it or come to the realisation they cant get it.
Zippy2000 Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 I have some friends who are like that. They are not bothered to be in a relationship as they just cannot he bothered with all the hassle that comes with it. Best idea is not to lead her on, and tell her what your intentions are so she doesnt get attached to you. That way she doesnt get emotionally damaged for the right guy for her when he comes along.
joseb Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Not even sex? I've seen guys get burned out on romance and relationships but usually not sex. Yip, I'm with you op. Right now I can't be bothered wirh the hassle of dating. But if I met someone interesting who was happy with just something physical, I'd be down for that.
joseb Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 Best idea is not to lead her on, and tell her what your intentions are so she doesnt get attached to you. That way she doesnt get emotionally damaged for the right guy for her when he comes along. Problem is, even if you do that they can still get attached and try to make you feel bad about not wanting more. You can't win! 1
Author Laprus9 Posted June 3, 2016 Author Posted June 3, 2016 I have some friends who are like that. They are not bothered to be in a relationship as they just cannot he bothered with all the hassle that comes with it. Best idea is not to lead her on, and tell her what your intentions are so she doesnt get attached to you. That way she doesnt get emotionally damaged for the right guy for her when he comes along. I haven't led her on, I am just treating her like the rest of my work colleagues. She gets no special treatment from me. I do like her but I just can't be arsed dealing with drama, relationship and endless amounts of **** that are sure to follow.
Author Laprus9 Posted June 3, 2016 Author Posted June 3, 2016 Not even sex? I've seen guys get burned out on romance and relationships but usually not sex. I don't do casual sex, it's not for me.
deep_night Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 aw, ure probably burnt out regarding relationships. ive been through this the last 3 years and counting...ive had feelings for people during that time but i find the idea of a relationship and commitment scary im a lady btw
Author Laprus9 Posted June 3, 2016 Author Posted June 3, 2016 aw, ure probably burnt out regarding relationships. ive been through this the last 3 years and counting...ive had feelings for people during that time but i find the idea of a relationship and commitment scary im a lady btw I feel happier, not burnt out. I don't feel dejected and I have no dislike or discord towards relationships and women but I just feel so much happier when I am not pursuing women. I don't find relationships or commitment scary, I just don't really have much of an opinion on it, it is what it is and for whatever reason it doesn't interest me. I see how much drama people embroil themselves in regards to this part of their life and I'm free of that, no stress, no drama, just a laid back, chilled out lifestyle.
jen1447 Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 I don't do casual sex, it's not for me. But no sex urge?
Author Laprus9 Posted June 3, 2016 Author Posted June 3, 2016 But no sex urge? Yeah, of course, I masturbate, so there's an urge there.
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