stillafool Posted June 3, 2016 Posted June 3, 2016 If she is a 10 don't chase her because she is more than likely use to that.
Author btunesful Posted June 3, 2016 Author Posted June 3, 2016 Truth, ^ That's why I told her we don't need to continue talking or hanging out after she said what she did.
phineas Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 "i don't want a relationship" "I'm scared of getting hurt" or whatever lines they toss your way to turn you down but keep your attention doesn't matter. If they were into you, they would date you. If they were into you and won't date you then they got issues and are doing you a favor. just walk away.
tinkerbell16 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Maybe, but maybe not. Elaine thinks I made her feel used. Other people think I should walk away bc she rejected me. But I'm the only who really knows this girl, and honestly I think she's just confused. She doesn't know how she really feels about me and everything that was happening between us got too intense too fast. On both our ends. She didn't outright reject me because she did say she still wanted to hangout, but I took the not ready for a relationship as code for "friend zone" so I said I'm not going to be friend zoned I have enough friends already and haven't said a word since. I'll wait 2 weeks, hit her up. See what happens. Or maybe she'll contact me before. In the meantime, I'll do my own thing and hookup with whoever I want, and do whatever I want. And continue doing that I think she was feeling used and cut you loose before she became more emotionally involved. You said she is a 10... a babe... a Victoria Secret model. I bet you told her at some point the same. I had a boyfriend who referred to me as "smokin' hot blondie" instead of my name. This was 2 mos into our dating. Maybe he thought he was complimenting me but it definitely made me think hmm... this guy's is not interested in anything more than my body. Now when I hear a guy call me "smokin hot" I cringe. She said she didn't want a relationship because she didn't want one with someone that makes her feel like a piece of meat. My guess. You never once described any other quality about her other than physical that you liked. Do her a favor and let her move on to someone who can appreciate both her inner and outer qualities.
tinkerbell16 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I realize I don't really have feelings for her anyway. She's just really ****in hot and I wanted to keep her around. When she did this it confused me is all Exactly why she went cold. She knew you were using her. "***in hot" does NOT = stupid. 1
tinkerbell16 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 She's putting you in a queue full of dummies and lining you all up, then deciding which one she wants. More than likely she will choose none of you. She will pick a guy who isn't even in the queue that treats her like a bag of dog food. Loose your feelings for her, keep her as a friend, and get her to hook you up with one of her hot friends. Since we are all assuming we know what she was thinking I will add to it... she was abused before... realized she was being used... said she didn't want a relationship so she could easily remove herself from a no-where bootie call relationship. She was protecting herself and her heart. Not every "10" plays with men in the way most assume. Some want someone who appreciates and respects their other non-physical qualities.
Jabron1 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 She said maybe if we're both not doing anything we could meet for a drink sometime. I told her that I didn't want to hangout with a girl who's friend zoned me and haven't talked to her since. Was that the wrong move? Yeah, I think your response was a bit OTT. I don't think you had been friendzoned. What she said should have just went in one ear and out the other. It's best to keep your options open, instead of burning bridges. She's just really ****in hot and I wanted to keep her around. It sounds like she wanted to keep you around, but you flipped out. Sure, she was trying to put you on the backburner. But what of that? Who cares?
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Exactly why she went cold. She knew you were using her. "***in hot" does NOT = stupid. is there anything i can do to change that?
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Yeah, I think your response was a bit OTT. I don't think you had been friendzoned. What she said should have just went in one ear and out the other. It's best to keep your options open, instead of burning bridges. It sounds like she wanted to keep you around, but you flipped out. Sure, she was trying to put you on the backburner. But what of that? Who cares? treat em like dirt and they stick to you like mud, right?
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Since we are all assuming we know what she was thinking I will add to it... she was abused before... realized she was being used... said she didn't want a relationship so she could easily remove herself from a no-where bootie call relationship. She was protecting herself and her heart. Not every "10" plays with men in the way most assume. Some want someone who appreciates and respects their other non-physical qualities. I wasnt using her btw, i would date this girl. hell, i would marry this girl. i liked her so far. i didnt know her well enough to form a real committed relationship yet though. she didnt talk to me for a week and i asked what was up and she said she didnt want to date me and wasnt ready for a relationship right now. i didnt even tell her i wanted one in the first place?
Jabron1 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 treat em like dirt and they stick to you like mud, right? That's like the complete opposite of what I said. But then I don't think you are listening or being honest. One second you are okay being casual, and you say that you are indifferent. But yet you get upset when she doesn't want a relationship, and you now say that you were considering marriage. Not sure what to think at all. 1
katiegrl Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 is there anything i can do to change that? Why do you even care? You said yourself you are not even that into her, she's just gorgeous and that is all it is. Which I am not buying for one second by the way, I think you *are* very into her .... otherwise this thread wouldn't exist. Not sure why you insist on denying that to a bunch of strangers on the internet but whatevs. In any event, not sure how you can change it, cuz I am not her and don't know what she is thinking. I agree to blurt out "I am not ready for a relationship" is a strange thing to say .... given you never told her you wanted a relationship ........ but again I am not her.... Maybe call her on that? I don't know this entire situation sounds strange..... How about just letting some time pass, then give her a buzz or text, ask her out (something casual) and TALK. Just have it out, no secrets, no games. If you are interested in her, then tell her! No need to be sappy about it, just be honest NO games. Games are toxic. Best of luck..... 1
tinkerbell16 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 is there anything i can do to change that? Like Jabron said, you are all over the place. In one post you said you weren't emotionally attached in the next you would marry her. Maybe you are one of those guys who try to stay detached and buy into the old hookup culture to keep yourself from being hurt? Keep her at arms length yet your p*nis reached her just fine... game playing bull***t. Can you do something about it? IF you GENUINELY have feelings for her yeah... Loose the false bravado, tell her how you feel about her (without describing her in any physical way) like how you liked how you laughed together, etc. whatever it was that made you think she was marriage material... make her FEEL SAFE with you (not literally but emotionally) and see how she reacts. You have already lost her so you have nothing to loose and a potential good thing to gain. If your just interested in her because she looks like a Victorias Secret Model them let her go so she can be with someone who appreciates her. I know of no girl or woman who do casual relationships because they WANT casual. It's usually because they gave compartmentalized their emoytions due to PAST HURT and DISAPPOINTMENT... When you are an attractive woman it is even tougher to find a good man because you attract a lot of superficial as*hats who freak out (not unlike your reaction) when they start to feel something for you GAWD forbid. Sorry I may be grumpy and direct... I am in bed with the flu lol
tinkerbell16 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Why do you even care? You said yourself you are not even that into her, she's just gorgeous and that is all it is. Which I am not buying for one second by the way, I think you *are* very into her .... otherwise this thread wouldn't exist. Not sure why you insist on denying that to a bunch of strangers on the internet but whatevs. In any event, not sure how you can change it, cuz I am not her and don't know what she is thinking. I agree to blurt out "I am not ready for a relationship" is a strange thing to say .... given you never told her you wanted a relationship ........ but again I am not her.... Maybe call her on that? I don't know this entire situation sounds strange..... How about just letting some time pass, then give her a buzz or text, ask her out (something casual) and TALK. Just have it out, no secrets, no games. If you are interested in her, then tell her! No need to be sappy about it, just be honest NO games. Games are toxic. Best of luck..... Agree with you Katie... her "not ready for a relationship" was true what they had would be a perfect scenario given he alluded to not wanting one either and treated her like a fwb. That is why it doesn't make sense. Because its likely not the reason she ended it. 1
tinkerbell16 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 treat em like dirt and they stick to you like mud, right? Ugh (head in hands) 1
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 That's like the complete opposite of what I said. But then I don't think you are listening or being honest. One second you are okay being casual, and you say that you are indifferent. But yet you get upset when she doesn't want a relationship, and you now say that you were considering marriage. Not sure what to think at all. what im saying is: i didnt know her well enough yet to form a committed relationship. she is gorgeous and she is really cool, easy to get a long with and fun. the type of girl any guy would want to marry--eventually, after getting to know her better, obviously. but we had been hanging out for just two months. not long enough to even form a relationship yet imo. when she said she didnt want a relationship and we could hangout "sometime," that cut off the opportunity for me to keep getting to know her. and it was strange considering i hadnt brought up a relationship at all, I was still just trying to get to know her. i said i wasnt interested in a girl who wanted to friendzone me, which now feels like it was the wrong move. I want to continue getting to know her, bc I am into her, but not so much as to get down about this because i still barely know her. I started this post because i am confused. I dont know how to proceed with continuing to get to know her now, which is all i want and maybe we could be a thing. I think i will wait a while and call her.
BaileyB Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I once had a guy say this to me, because he was just finalizing his divorce and he decided he needed some time to take care of things. When he said he didn't want a relationship... It meant, he didn't want a relationship! It's pretty clear. Maybe you can be friends and maybe it will grow into something more with time... But I wouldn't wait for the day. It is exactly what it means...
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 Ugh (head in hands) I told her when i was in college that I was a huge dick, and she probably wouldnt have liked me. (we went to the same university but didnt know eachother at the time) She said, "I probably would have liked that, actually." So, what do you make of that
elaine567 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I told her when i was in college that I was a huge dick, and she probably wouldnt have liked me. (we went to the same university but didnt know eachother at the time) She said, "I probably would have liked that, actually." So, what do you make of that She's probably saying that at point in her life she would have fallen for a guy who was a huge dick as she was that naive.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 I told her when i was in college that I was a huge dick, and she probably wouldnt have liked me. (we went to the same university but didnt know eachother at the time) She said, "I probably would have liked that, actually." So, what do you make of that She used a hypothetical past verb form, indicating she no longer operates under the same principle. She's telling you she has grown up since then and doesn't do that anymore. Beyond that, her statement doesn't mean anything.
PrettyEmily77 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 You're already too invested when you start analysing every sentence uttered. There's no subtext or reading between the lines: she's not ready to be in a relationship, and that's that.
Jabron1 Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 what im saying is: i didnt know her well enough yet to form a committed relationship. she is gorgeous and she is really cool, easy to get a long with and fun. the type of girl any guy would want to marry--eventually, after getting to know her better, obviously. but we had been hanging out for just two months. not long enough to even form a relationship yet imo. when she said she didnt want a relationship and we could hangout "sometime," that cut off the opportunity for me to keep getting to know her. and it was strange considering i hadnt brought up a relationship at all, I was still just trying to get to know her. i said i wasnt interested in a girl who wanted to friendzone me, which now feels like it was the wrong move. I want to continue getting to know her, bc I am into her, but not so much as to get down about this because i still barely know her. I started this post because i am confused. I dont know how to proceed with continuing to get to know her now, which is all i want and maybe we could be a thing. I think i will wait a while and call her. What do you really want, mate? Because I'm getting the vibe that you wanted to get serious with her, and she pulled back. If you were being casual, and she tells you that stuff about not wanting a relationship, then your response would have been more like 'so?'. BTW I wasn't suggesting treating her like dirt. I was saying there isn't anything wrong with having a hb10 on the backburner (as long she doesn't expect you to be her new gay friend, which It doesn't seem like the case here).
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 You're already too invested when you start analysing every sentence uttered. There's no subtext or reading between the lines: she's not ready to be in a relationship, and that's that. church it coo it coo
Author btunesful Posted June 4, 2016 Author Posted June 4, 2016 What do you really want, mate? Because I'm getting the vibe that you wanted to get serious with her, and she pulled back. If you were being casual, and she tells you that stuff about not wanting a relationship, then your response would have been more like 'so?'. BTW I wasn't suggesting treating her like dirt. I was saying there isn't anything wrong with having a hb10 on the backburner (as long she doesn't expect you to be her new gay friend, which It doesn't seem like the case here). that's not the case at all. ive already been with her, several times, we made the sex already is what im saying. i just want to keep getting to know her, homie. i could see myself getting into a realtionship with her in the future, but that wont happen if i cant keep getting to know her. and between her saying she didnt want a relationship, and then me telling her to **** off and that i didnt need anymore friends, was just questioning whether she would give me another chance. but only she holds that answer, so being on here has proven to be a waste of time, ha. Laters.
VeveCakes Posted June 4, 2016 Posted June 4, 2016 Agree with katie, it is clear you ARE into this girl and you are burned now that she doesn't want you. I think you need to get over it, she's just not that into you. You said yourself you could have any girl you want and that you weren't looking for a relationship. Move along, lots of other hotties out there. 2
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