TOYAJ85 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Good Morning ALL, I have a question really need some honest feedback. Me and My mate Have be together exclusively for 2 years now, Friends with benefits for 8. Mind you he's 13 years old than me I'm 30 he's 43 Now that we're in a relationship things has really changed. He blames everything on me. EVERYTHING! My issue with my him is trust he has lied to me in the past. I forgave him, but I still see some signs that I don't like. He hides his phone, he has so called female customers calling him at 7am & 3am. (He sales cars). He lies about the pettiest things. Like if I walkout of the room he'll check his phone and I'll say well who called or texted he says I haven't touched my phone but I see it's moved from where it was.He always threatens to leave me then once we make up he says he didn't say that. He says he's tired of talking about the same thing I say maybe you need to make some changes he says I'm the one that needs to do the changing. Like I said before my issue is Trust and communication. Help?
mikeylo Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 The old cliché: trust is earned. If his actions are not trustworthy, then you can't trust him. What is he doing to earn it ? Petty lies can turn into huge lies and turn your life upside down. It's probably over.
Author TOYAJ85 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 Nothing , He sees no wrong in what he does he always try to flip it around me. He said if he hasn't done enough to show me he's not doing anything then that's on me because he's done trying. A relationship is like a garden you have to tend to it. I said so when you get in a relationship you don't try to maintain it? He also says I'm always going to have an issue because he deals with a lot females is his work field. I said there is a thing called being professional. Meaning They should only call your business phone during business hours and you all shouldn't be calling each other baby and talking about your personal life am I wrong? He calls it being sociable.
mikeylo Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Not again ! Really , this issue of female friends is going bizarre! Read more threads on this same issue. He is not going to change. He wants to have and eat his cake too. He is an insecure azz who needs constant female validation. Not worth a dime. Find a decent guy who is secure in himself. What's the purpose of a relationship if partners are glued to opposite sex ' friends'. I'll never get it. Dump him and give him all the freedom to socialize. He will find an equally azz woman who will put up with it because of her own male validation issues.
Author TOYAJ85 Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 Thank You. I guess I was trying to hold on to something that wasn't there for my kids.
mikeylo Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 A man like this is an extremely bad influence on kids. He is setting a very bad example to them about relationship integrity and how to treat women. Him disrespecting you and the relationship will in turn , have the kids giving two shaets about him later. Dump his arse and find a guy with relationship basic skills.
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