Cooper04 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 Met a girl online a couple of weeks ago. Been on two dates with her, ended up having sex on the second date. This was on saturday. She told me she was going to a dinner on sunday, with some colleagues or school mates or something. On monday she sent me a cryptic message about "the dinner didn't go so well", but didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. She was home from work on monday due to illness, then on tuesday night she messaged me telling me she had been raped! She tells me she had been talking to this guy a while, they had set up a dinner date before she met me. She says she thought it would be easier to go have dinner with him and then never talk to him again rather than cancelling and having an awkward conversation about why. She's been to the emergency room, but waited 2 days. There are no visible signs of violence that can be proven to have been caused by him. She is saying she doesn't want to press charges. She's a lawyer and claims since she willingly went there there is enough to create reasonable doubt, and she can't face the embarrasment of being questioned by a defence lawyer. She also won't tell me the guys name, so I can't sort him out myself. There are 2 issues here, after our second date I had pretty much decided to end this. I like her, but not as a girlfriend. But I can't get myself to tell her that now. But if I keep seeing her, I'm leading her on. How should I handle this? The second point is, I can't believe she's gonna let this guy get away with this.. How can I convince her to go to the police?
PegNosePete Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 after our second date I had pretty much decided to end this. I like her, but not as a girlfriend. But I can't get myself to tell her that now. But if I keep seeing her, I'm leading her on. How should I handle this? "I'm sorry, I don't think we're a match". The second point is, I can't believe she's gonna let this guy get away with this.. How can I convince her to go to the police? You can't. It's her decision. You're just some guy she went on 2 dates with. Let it go. 2
SugarLips72 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I'm sorry but this girl is drama. Cut it off now before you totally lead her on. Wish her well. Move on. You are not obligated to be a boyfriend or anything to her because she has gone through a tramautic event. Her unwillingness to go to police is awkward. She is claiming rape but she won't go to the authorities. Date rape is harder to prove. Who knows what really happened here. Good luck 1
JS84 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 "I'm sorry, I don't think we're a match". You can't. It's her decision. You're just some guy she went on 2 dates with. Let it go. Going to have to agree with this. You went on 2 dates, I doubt she was expecting a marriage proposal. The timing isn't the greatest but better to just rip the band aid off for her then drag things out. And how she chooses to deal with the rape is completely up to her as it should be. She shouldn't be pressured to do anything she doesn't feel comfortable doing.
lilmissjava Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 After you have sex with her, you want to end it? Just tell her you aren't feeling it and if you are looking for casual, tell your dating prospects you want casual sex and nothing else. I'd be a little upset that you pulled a pump and dump, but that's just me. She undoubtedly has a family and/or friends to get her through the rape.
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