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Playing spot the difference between a genuine guy and a big time flirt.

ForeverAlone2016

By ForeverAlone2016
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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

Posted
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I always have trouble spotting the difference between a flirt and a genuine man.

 

I have come across guys that barely know me but they are to be very flirty with me. He claims that he is not a flirt, but I am wise enough to know otherwise.

 

How does everyone tell the difference between a 'flirt with everyone' type of guy and 'flirts coz u r special to him' guy.

Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted (edited)

Easy. Guys who flirt to garner attention generally do this....

 

- They like to stare at you from across the room

- They don't bother striking up conversations with you unless you initiate them

- If you try to get to know them as people, they generally aren't interested in that

- They never escalate their interest into asking you out on a date, nor do they include you in their circle of friend.

- If you stop paying attention to them they immediately notice and double their efforts, only to then show apparent disinterest again

- They only ever give you enough interest/attention to maintain yours on them. Breadcrumbs.

- They maintain this apparent interest ad-inifinitum and seem absolutely comfortable that it's going nowhere.

Edited by Buddhist
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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

Posted
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Posted
Easy. Guys who flirt to garner attention generally do this....

 

- They like to stare at you from across the room

- They don't bother striking up conversations with you unless you initiate them

- If you try to get to know them as people, they generally aren't interested in that

- They never escalate their interest into asking you out on a date, nor do they include you in their circle of friend.

- If you stop paying attention to them they immediately notice and double their efforts, only to then show apparent disinterest again

- They only ever give you enough interest/attention to maintain yours on them. Breadcrumbs.

- They maintain this apparent interest ad-inifinitum and seem absolutely comfortable that it's going nowhere.

 

Very very helpful. Since dating has increasingly become digital. How does one spot the difference in the virtual world?

Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted
Very very helpful. Since dating has increasingly become digital. How does one spot the difference in the virtual world?

 

No idea. I don't do online dating.

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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

Posted
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No idea. I don't do online dating.

 

I meant in text messaging and calling. Some guys come off as absolute flirts.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

How does everyone tell the difference between a 'flirt with everyone' type of guy and 'flirts coz u r special to him' guy.

 

Easy answer: Does he know you well enough to gauge that you are special to him?

 

If he hasn't spent a lot of time with you and therefore doesn't know you well, then you can't be special to him. In which case, he's just a big flirt. It's also important to consider that you really can't be special to anyone who you've never/barely met.

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Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted
I meant in text messaging and calling. Some guys come off as absolute flirts.

 

I don't text and rarely use a phone for anything except paying bills. ;) I tend not use electronics as a medium for flirting/getting to know someone. I only ever date people I meet IRL and leave my interactions with them to IRL too. Outside of that I'm happy to have little to no contact with them in-between dates.

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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

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I am very confused about this guy's intentions.

 

I have known him through friends for a while, but we have never really hung out together.

 

I am not looking for a relationship, but I do want to avoid potential players. He is a very very good looking guy and his Facebook is filled with girls complimenting him.

 

We started talking and he started flirting with me instantaneously. This put me off, because how can you be so flirty with someone you have just started speaking to? He asked for us to meet sometime in the next couple of weeks. I am not sure if its a date or just a casual get together.

 

He doesn't really try to get to know me or my interests and most times I have to initiate the conversation.

 

Oh and he mostly txts me at night. I am hoping it is because he is busy but I do see him online sometimes and he does not reply.

 

Should I keep talking to him or get out before things get deeper?

Jersey born raised Established Member

Jersey born raised

Posted
Posted

Friend zone him. If he stiil flirts with you laugh and say I think I know a girl who would really enjoy you. Will you like me to see if she is dating someone. That is kinder than a friend who meet a girl and she gave him the phone number of the police station.

joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted
I am very confused about this guy's intentions.

 

I have known him through friends for a while, but we have never really hung out together.

 

I am not looking for a relationship, but I do want to avoid potential players. He is a very very good looking guy and his Facebook is filled with girls complimenting him.

 

We started talking and he started flirting with me instantaneously. This put me off, because how can you be so flirty with someone you have just started speaking to? He asked for us to meet sometime in the next couple of weeks. I am not sure if its a date or just a casual get together.

 

He doesn't really try to get to know me or my interests and most times I have to initiate the conversation.

 

Oh and he mostly txts me at night. I am hoping it is because he is busy but I do see him online sometimes and he does not reply.

 

Should I keep talking to him or get out before things get deeper?

 

You are not looking for a relationship - yet expect to attract a guy that thinks you are special and is crazy about you and isn't looking for casual.

Did I get that right?

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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

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No actually you got it all wrong.

 

I meant I am not actively looking for a relationship but if it happens it happens.

 

Although, I have been cheated on before and I know I can become sucked into the sweet talk. Which is why I queried his behaviour on the forum. I don't want to go down the same rabbit hole again.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

How can you be flirty with someone you just started speaking to? Easy. This is the basis of easily attracting a partner. And it's fun.

 

That said, he can't be that much of a flirt if he doesn't initiate conversation. I'm wondering why you're bothering talking to a guy who doesn't ask questions or initiate conversation.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

He doesn't really try to get to know me or my interests and most times I have to initiate the conversation.

Even if you are only looking for a fwb or casual or a fling, why would you want to waste time with a guy who shows no real interest in you whatsoever, past some flirty talk to get into your pants?

He sounds superficial, egotistical and no doubt thick.

 

Oh and he mostly txts me at night.
Booty call?
joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted

If you know him through friends, then maybe you can ask them what they think if him.

 

To me, sounds like he has low intetest but might be up for a booty call, based on time he messages and lack of initiating.

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alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
How does everyone tell the difference between a 'flirt with everyone' type of guy and 'flirts coz u r special to him' guy.

initially you can't tell but the passage of time will tell

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted

OP, can you give specific things he says or texts that lead you to believe he is flirting?

 

Bombarding you with compliments, what?

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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

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He asked me out on a date. Although I get the impression that he is not very interested, so it is very likely that I will turn him down.

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ForeverAlone2016 Member

ForeverAlone2016

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OP, can you give specific things he says or texts that lead you to believe he is flirting?

 

Bombarding you with compliments, what?

 

Yes he compliments me a lot - but not the nice kind - the sleazy kind. He specifically compliments my figure. Normally I would be okay with that, but this guy doesn't even take the time out to talk to me about what makes me tick.

 

He never initiates conversation which makes me assume that he is only looking for one thing.

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