Flowerpotgirl Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I'm new to this so please be kind. He walked out when I was on a day out with his sister in law. Took the car , computer and just left a note. He'd been reticent for some months and had been having intimate texts with someone. I wasn't perfect but I wanted to work at it. Still devastated a year on and have tried to cope. Why do I still miss him ? Thankyou
Daxter325 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I am almost done with my first day of No Contact, and to me it feels like a year. You on the other hand have actually gone through a year and I can only imagine how much this is hurting you. It's ok to grieve, if it motivates you just remember that he definitely has moved on so it might be time that you try to move on as well. Acknowledge the memories and see them as just that, a small memory in what will become decades long of experiences and stories you will have to share. Best of luck
Daxter325 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I'm copying a list of how I handled things, hopefully it serves you well. Definitely take a look at the pinned guide for No Contact . -Gym, this is an opportune time for you to literally change the way you look when my sons mother left us I was overweight and honestly did not feel too confident. Now I have regained some confidence as my total physical appearance is light years ahead of where I was. -Do not look at his social media, I did this and boy were those HUGE mistakes. Each time I did, I would always see her posting how happy she is and how she misses her new guy and not a single mention of her son. It made me feel worthless it made me feel like our 6 years of "love" was all in vain, it made me feel really bad my friend. So please don't do it. -Do not contact him at all. Doing so does two things 1) it'll cause you to be desperate and blurt out things that you probably shouldn't like "I miss you please come back to me", "You completely destroyed me how dare you" or "I just want you back" 2) You will start to ask questions without end and trust me he's not gonna wanna answer them which will hurt you 3x more and you'll start asking even more questions with still no answer -Grieve, it's ok to cry. Just typing this up almost made me shed a tear. Just hang on and time will heal. 1
Author Flowerpotgirl Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 Thankyou for responding. It's the lack of contact that has been hard, emotionally , financially and for my son. If he'd said it to my face that he was leaving I would have had closure .
ajp1999 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I'm so sorry you are hurting a year later. I've only been a couple days without contact and I've been so upset. After a year though u may want to try to force yourself to move on. Do u date. ? I know dating can be hard too but Mr right is not gonna just show up at your door step. Best of luck.
Author Flowerpotgirl Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 I've kept off social media completely with him, for that very reason.
Author Flowerpotgirl Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 I don't have the confidence to date ! I'm so sorry it's happened to you. Folk should have the decency to say things to ones face. I've moved on in lots of ways but just still miss him , that's all .
triple-s Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 its been 366 days since i found out the girl i was seeing was a sociopath and was lying to me all along. Worst part is i work with her >_< . I admit it still haunts me to this day but what helped was you need to look at this statement . You must participate in your own rescue . Why ? well cuz if you keep looking at their social media , thinking about what if ... this and that ---- In the end youre doing it to yourself . The only person who can solve this pain is YOU . For the year of 2016 i have kept no contact, no social media connections whatsoever . Let time pass and KEEP BUSY . i feel like ive improved compared to how i was back in 2015 ... FOCUS ON YOU . Its hard to do and easy to say ; i know ... but really it does fade away... This type of Pain changes people . It really does . but do it for YOU. 1
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