thelovetri Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 Hello everyone! I'm happy to find this site (actually my brother told me about it) but I'm glad he did! It seems to be a great community with a lot of advice. I'm in a complete rut right now and have no idea what to do. So here is my story. I'm in a very bad position in my life in terms of relationships. The guy: I've been with for 9 years, and we broke up last June. He is a very caring genuine guy who gets a long with everyone and my family loves him as he has been such a big part of it. I can see myself marrying him, and having a family. I feel completely safe with him as well. However, the "spark" is just not there. The girl: Before I met my ex guy 9 years ago, I was with this girl at a very young age for 2 years. She has a big part of my past history and I care and love her just as much as I do for my ex guy. Most of my friends don't like her, and she's very heavy into her sorority life, which I hate. She is also friends with all her ex-girlfriends which bothers me. Last June the guy and I broke up, and a few weeks later her and i started dating. The guy and I didn't talk for 5 months. At first I didn't care much but it started getting to me that he was "Gone" out of my life. After the 5 months, I broke up with her and we started talking again. He went to Europe and it devastated me as he was talking to other women and hanging out with them as well. This is what made me decided that I wasn't over him. I don't think I can ever picture him out of my life This is where I am currently at. I feel a spark with her but not sure if it's love or lust. She's perfect, but we seem to fight. She's very insecure and hates that I still talk to my guy ex. I feel safe with him and can see myself having a family with him, but that "spark" is just not there. I know the spark doesn't last forever. I truly do love and care about them both but it's unfair as now I'm single and I feel like I'm stringing them both along which I know is unfair to both of them. The girl, she is a bit crazy and needs mental help and a part of me wants to end it completely with her, but the other part of me doesn't. I think a reason why I don't is because I'm afraid she may hurt her self as she has said if "you ever leave me, I'll kill myself" I've been sexual with my ex guy. He's been honest with me and told me he had sex with two other women which I can eventually get over cause he was single. My ex girl doesn't know that him and I hang out a lot and are sometimes sexual. One day I feel like I know what I want and want to be with him. Then the next day, I'm lost and want to be with her. I'm debating on going to see a therapist in hopes of some help but figured I'd ask here for some advice. tl;dr: lost and confused between two exes. Male of 9 years, female of 5 months with past history before meeting Male.
Daxter325 Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 It doesn't sound like to me that you're ready to commit to either. Or you just like the "fun" in having options. I suggest you man/woman up and know what it is hat you want. They are human beings that most likely have feelings and you should respect it as such. Best of luck
Author thelovetri Posted June 2, 2016 Author Posted June 2, 2016 It doesn't sound like to me that you're ready to commit to either. Or you just like the "fun" in having options. I suggest you man/woman up and know what it is hat you want. They are human beings that most likely have feelings and you should respect it as such. Best of luck I believe you're right that I'm not ready to commit to either. I wouldn't say I like the fun of having options, it's more or less that they both have been a big part of my life and I truly love and care for them both. I have tried not talking to them but I just miss them terribly and I know it's wrong for me to lead them both on. Him and I did have a great relationship, and part of me just felt like we got to comfortable.
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