Pandalavian Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 (edited) I have resorted to this forum because I have been venting out my sadness and frustration to my friends for days on end and I do not want to annoy them with my problems anymore. My LDR girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me less than a month ago and it is killing me. It happened because we had different priorities in mind. She prioritised our relationship whereas I had put it to the back of my mind and was simply going about with life because I was in an incredibly happy place with her and where we were. As bad as that sounds, I do love her very much and we have been each other's main support for years. I fell in love with her even before she showed interest in me so getting together was like a dream come true. As it was long distance, for the past few years, both of us have been making plans around each other's schedules so that we had time to stay home and spend time with each other. Unlike me, she was eventually getting tired of being so repetitive most days. She still made me happy every time we spoke or texted, but I didn't have the same effect on her anymore. We gradually realised that we were on totally different pages in terms of our points of view on the relationship. Because it wasn't based on physicality, I am rather emotionally attached to the relationship. It has only been a few weeks but there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought about her. Getting back together is not an option, she has made that clear. So I'm not here for advice, I'm just looking for people with similar experiences to share their stories of how they got over it. For me, going out with friends makes me forget about it temporarily but I kind of spiral back into the sadness when I get home. In that sense, it definitely is the worst time for me to go through a break up right now because everyone is busy with exams (uni students) and the only consolation and support I have been getting is via occasional texts and messages. I feel very lost without her. Edited June 1, 2016 by Pandalavian
Daxter325 Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 Brother, I feel your pain. The woman I I first ever (and still am) In love with has made it crystal ball clear that she has no intentions of returning to me or our son. And every single day it honestly destroys my soul that she isn't with us. As far as getting over it, honestly, I myself am having a hard time getting over it but I do *try* to get over it. Here's a few things I do -Gym, this is an opportune time for you to literally change the way you look when my sons mother left us I was overweight and honestly did not feel too confident. Now I have regained some confidence as my total physical appearance is light years ahead of where I was. -Do not look at her social media, I did this and boy were those HUGE mistakes. Each time I did, I would always see her posting how happy she is and how she misses her new guy and not a single mention of her son. It made me feel worthless it made me feel like our 6 years of "love" was all in vain, it made me feel really bad my friend. So please don't do it. -Do not contact her at all. Doing so does two things 1) it'll cause you to be desperate and blurt out things that you probably shouldn't like "I miss you please come back to me", "You completely destroyed me how dare you" or "I just want you back" 2) You will start to ask questions without end and trust me she's not gonna wanna answer them which will hurt you 3x more and you'll start asking even more questions with still no answer -Grieve, it's ok to cry. Just typing this up almost made me shed a tear. Just hang on and time will heal. 1
Author Pandalavian Posted June 1, 2016 Author Posted June 1, 2016 Do not contact her at all. Doing so does two things 1) it'll cause you to be desperate and blurt out things that you probably shouldn't like "I miss you please come back to me", "You completely destroyed me how dare you" or "I just want you back" 2) You will start to ask questions without end and trust me she's not gonna wanna answer them which will hurt you 3x more and you'll start asking even more questions with still no answer Unfortunately, that has already happened before I came here to rant haha. I'm surprised at how accurate you are. I can definitely relate in terms of heartbreak. I have been slowly removing everything I have her on, even deactivating my social media platforms to get away from her. I wish I can erase memories of knowing HOW to contact her, because there is always a way. She is probably better off than I am right now, so that makes me feel less guilty for 'trying' to let her go. But in the end, I'm the one who is the saddest. All the best to you and your son, thanks for sharing. 1
Orion39 Posted June 2, 2016 Posted June 2, 2016 I've been there. The best relationships I've had have been long distance and the breakups some of the most painful. I think the best thing to do to get over it is to make a choice to move on, try not to make any connection to her and keep living life.
gaig Posted June 6, 2016 Posted June 6, 2016 So I'm not here for advice, I'm just looking for people with similar experiences to share their stories of how they got over it. For me, going out with friends makes me forget about it temporarily but I kind of spiral back into the sadness when I get home. In that sense, it definitely is the worst time for me to go through a break up right now because everyone is busy with exams (uni students) and the only consolation and support I have been getting is via occasional texts and messages. I feel very lost without her. Have a look to my threads.. My story took place in your area It is quite fresh and impossible for me to stop thinking about her, often difficult to focus at work. Me and my ex were not always in LDR. Actually, before we go LDR we were living happily together and being very very close. But other reasons (environment, family, professional) were fighting against our happiness and giving us stress. We decided to relocate to resolve all these and promised we will make it! I am 10 years older, she was always looking up to me and I knew she is still a kid discovering the world. My two month close-to-depression-and-lethargy phase should never be an excuse for stop supporting her properly. As I said, I am 10 years older and much more experienced. So maybe in the end roles swapped and I was the confused kid.. Now it is late, she completely disappeared (we all know what this means) the days we were discussing her coming by my area just to sit down and talk whether there is a way to fix this situation. Add to that the stress I am getting from starting a startup business in a country that I am a complete foreigner with numerous difficulties and there is a recipe for proper depression. It's just so hard, cause she did all the mistakes in the end and her reactions were rather spasmodic, but I knew she is a kid and that when she has a lot in her mind she gets confused and usually negative (chronic depression from her childhood). Where do I pump tranquility and support? From my family and close friends (and thank god I have a lot of them back in my country). And this is what I advice you to do..
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