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Posted
Now you're talking! Look for signs of interest. Social events. Yes!

 

But don't add women who say they have a boyfriend on FB. While it may be true that they have a boyfriend, it's also an excuse many women use to avoid having to explain that we're simply not interested. In short, "I have a boyfriend" is frequently code for 'I'm not interested". Besides, how would you feel if some dude did this with your girlfriend?

 

Yip, I agree. Do the rest - sounds good, but don't push when they give you an excuse to say no (such as I have a boyfriend).

Also, if you had a girlfriend, how would you feel about her given out her facebook details to a random guy that talked to her?

 

I'll bet your success rate does go up a lot by simply targeting better.

 

Don't forget that for most people, the rate will still be low , but low is still better than zero :)

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

I think the OP is being piled on a bit harshly here. I'm not going to get into debating whether the OP deserves to stay in a dateless purgatory just because he deigned to use the word "female" as he did, especially when there are plenty of far crasser males (see what I did there?) who have plenty of success with women. My thoughts in the meanwhile:

 

1. OP, we are going by so little here. Hell we haven't even seen your OLD profile, never mind the in-person vibe you give off to women. That said, if you really have all this stuff going for you on paper (good-looking, tall, in good shape, has his life together), then that likely should at least translate to some *interest online*, even if you are doing some things wrong face-to-face so that it doesn't translate to *in-person chemistry*. Contrary to what is said on LS, it is not only the Top-1%-Man who gets any attention from dating sites. Good-looking, tall, in good shape, and a decent blurb should be plenty as long as your pictures are good.

 

The only thing I can think of is that many women in their mid-late-20s (the OP's presumed age bracket) may fill out an OLD profile but they aren't really using it to meet people as they are already meeting people through social circle ect. That may be why you aren't getting responses back.

 

2. Your in-person approaches sound a bit goofy and contrived, OP. You basically want to come across instead as a normal cool guy instead of an entertainer w routines. I realize this isn't easy to do via daytime cold-approach where there typically is hardly any context, and I can't really explain how in a single post. Which leads me to the next point...

 

3. Social events sound great! There starting a conversation with a woman and coming across as a cool normal guy is much easier.

Edited by Imajerk17
  • Like 1
Posted

 

2. Your in-person approaches sound a bit goofy and contrived, OP. You basically want to come across instead as a normal cool guy instead of an entertainer w routines. I realize this isn't easy to do via daytime cold-approach where there typically is hardly any context, and I can't really explain how in a single post. Which leads me to the next point...

 

3. Social events sound great! There starting a conversation with a woman and coming across as a cool normal guy is much easier.

 

These are valid points.

 

OP, I realize being funny and entertaining may be your natural personality but it is important to be cognizant of how women interpret that.

 

Speaking personally, when a man comes off that way straight from the get go, I interpret it as him trying too hard to impress me.

 

That may NOT be your intention and probably isn't! But neverthless, this is how many women interpret it.

 

And trying too hard is a turn off, for both men and women (if a woman is the one trying too hard).

 

I hope you are not offended I said that, cuz honestly you sound like you have a great sense of humor.

 

But early interactions are very precarious, a lot of assumptions and misconceptions can happen easily, and do!

 

Resulting in one person (or both) not wishing to move forward....

  • Like 2
Posted

Ok folks, second moderation directive in this thread!

 

After some clean-up, lets keep things on the topic of the OP's frustrations with dating and save the rest of the men/women debate for a more appropriate thread. ~Thank you

  • Like 1
Posted
You are average, that's why you don't stand out from the rest. Women pick up on social cues of attraction by how a man carries himself when he walks by...(the swagger), the smooth talker, and maybe being a little rough around the edges. You can be ok around women but if you don't put out that "I desire you" vibe you don't get very far. I worked in a club for 4 years and had plenty of time watching these guys work their magic. What they do and say clicks on a woman's attraction to them like a hot damn. Women want excitement, intrigue, mystery....remember women think with their emotions. You have to focus on what stimulates those emotions.

 

Bottom line, you gotta work on yer game.

 

There have been a few thread where a guy complains about how his buddy gets women so easily, and women ask him for his buddies phone number, even tho the level of physical appearance is the same between the two of them. It's the vibe, the eye contact, saying things the just the right way. It's the only way to take those walls down.

 

**side note, what else attract women are guys who do physically masculine activities like playing football, rock climbing, sky diving, etc. What also helps is having a good group of fun loving buddies around you when you go out. The more testosterone the better. Just saying from my observations.

 

All good points here... OP listen to what Smackie is saying. Don't fear saying the wrong things, rejection, nothing... you walk the walk with a chip on your shoulder the size of an elephant's b-llsack... the women came to see you... you're the star of the show... they want Bieber? Hell no. They want you! Now grab 'em and show 'em who the man is here... it's you, OP. I believe that's what Smackie is saying... :D

 

Side Note: Yes! Masculine activities help. Join an MMA gym and tell women you're a jiu-jitsu warrior and try to formulate a core group of buddies to hang out with... make sure though they're not d-bags who will bring you down. They have to be cool, suave, team players.

Posted
The only non-material/physical thing you listed here was the sense of humour, which was listed way after your new roof. It seems as if you care about image too much, and women might not see all the organic substance of your character as a consequence. Believe it or not, women will more often than not be concerned about your inner character and how that makes them feel. We're led to believe women like the trinkets we can dangle, and to some extent there's some truth to some of that sometimes. But with a character permeated with inner strength, confidence, and experience it would only be the most hardy of gold-diggers that wouldn't care.

Exactly... I read the list and aside from the sense of humor it read like a self sufficient adult. I didn't know there was a prize for this? I mean unless you also own a yatch it is the norm. I don't know of any woman who seeks out a homeless pot head... and many women , like myself, are self sufficient in their own right and will look for other qualities that they would be attracted to... like your sense of humor. Your list is like a woman saying "I am not crazy so why am I single"? Glad you got a new roof (and so do I :) but what this woman wants in a man can't be "purchased".

Posted

Like I said, it's how you carry yourself, how you interact with them....body language, masculinity, sexual, the vibe. You can find tips on youtube videos. Have a look, then grab a friend that is popular with women and go out.

 

 

If you are one of those who goes out alone that's a strike against you. Read my other post on page 3

Posted (edited)

With this third moderation directive, the thread will remain closed until the thread starter requests it be reopened via the 'Alert Us' button on this post.

 

We had to delete about 30 off-topic posts and remove posting privileges from a few members.

 

When/if this thread reopens, we request that members refrain from participating in off-topic gender war discussions, and remain focused on the thread starter's specific issue.

 

Thanks,

~6

Edited by Robert
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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