Frustrated With Females

June 1, 2016

I guess I just needed to vent a little bit. So sorry ahead of time lol.

I am 28 years old. I own my own 3 bedroom 2 bath home which I just recently put a new roof on. My car is paid off. I put money in the bank monthly. I'm 6' and weigh around 175. Not in too bad of shape. Go to the gym about twice a week. I have a great sense of humor. I'm one of the cleanest and neatest guys I know in both my physical appearance and the way I keep my home/lawn. I don't smoke. Rarely drink. I've been told I'm a great looking guy all of my life as well.

Now if I was a female I would read all of that and think to myself something like wow he's really got his stuff together. Or he isn't perfect but there is a lot of potential there. Maybe even we have a winner!! Haha. That just doesn't seem to be the case though. I do both online dating and try to meet women out in person but really don't have that much luck.

Online Dating:

Now keep in mind I'm not shy and do send messages when I'm interested. I understand that it's the man's job to make the first move most of the time. No problem. The thing is my messages will be seen but get no response. I'll even wait a little while and send a follow up message. Hell one female I sent like 5 messages to with each message being a week apart just as a science experiment to see if I would get blocked or a response eventually lol. She didn't block me and read all of my messages but still no response. She even viewed my profile twice. Some women enjoy my compliments to them or laugh when I make a joke but wont do anything to keep the conversation alive after a message or two.

It seems to me like women enjoy getting messaged. They enjoy compliments. They'll even view my profile and stuff. Just none of them do anything to help me make the interaction go anywhere. I guess it's just silly of me to expect them to put in any kind of effort after I reveal my interest and try to make something happen. You would think that on an online dating site that for them this would be the ideal situation. This is why we are here people!! lol. I don't know what the deal is honestly.

Meeting Women In Person:

There are problems here too. I don't stand around and creep for an hour before I approach or anything. When I do approach I try to keep it light hearted and funny. I've got conversation starters for any situation really. In a clothing store for example I'll ask how a shirt would look on me or something like that. You know to get a "female perspective" lol. Or I'll pull a stunt like asking where a certain store is located in the mall even though I'm standing right in the middle of it. Then I'll tell her I just wanted to meet her and had to know if she had a good sense of humor. Pretty creative right? Not weird at all at least in my opinion. Could be wrong. Who knows.

What I find here is that women just don't seem to be very responsive at all. They either seem unsure about what my intentions are or they are so preoccupied with something else that they just don't want to be approached at all. Some of them are downright rude actually. Occasionally I'll find someone who is a breath of fresh air and have a great interaction but this doesn't happen as often as I would like. It's like I've been judged before they even know me at times. Almost guilty until proven innocent.

Now what I would really like to know is this...Is there something that I am doing that is getting me the wrong results or are the women in modern society just so picky that a lot of them refuse to settle for someone who doesn't make at least $100,000 a year on an online dating profile lol? Or maybe he doesn't have the right college degree etc? Or maybe he doesn't drive the right kind of car? I'm just frustrated. I feel like on paper I am what most women say that they want but in reality they are somehow missing all of my potential and choosing men who to me don't seem like a good match for them at all. Lower quality men in my eyes.

So....what's up with you crazy ladies?

June 1, 2016

Things will get better in your 30's and when you move on from 'crazy ladies', either calling them that or interacting with the clinical variety.

June 1, 2016

It might be your attitude/how you come across? To some women, you can have all the money, looks etc but if the right personality/attitude (to them) isn't there then the interest will be placed elsewhere.

What are some examples of your first messages on dating sites? The hey what's up/hey sexy etc get no response from me.

Maybe you need to tone it down a bit.

The right one will come along.

June 1, 2016

Meeting Women In Person:
There are problems here too. I don't stand around and creep for an hour before I approach or anything. When I do approach I try to keep it light hearted and funny. I've got conversation starters for any situation really. In a clothing store for example I'll ask how a shirt would look on me or something like that. You know to get a "female perspective" lol. Or I'll pull a stunt like asking where a certain store is located in the mall even though I'm standing right in the middle of it. Then I'll tell her I just wanted to meet her and had to know if she had a good sense of humor. Pretty creative right? Not weird at all at least in my opinion. Could be wrong. Who knows.

What I find here is that women just don't seem to be very responsive at all. They either seem unsure about what my intentions are or they are so preoccupied with something else that they just don't want to be approached at all. Some of them are downright rude actually. Occasionally I'll find someone who is a breath of fresh air and have a great interaction but this doesn't happen as often as I would like. It's like I've been judged before they even know me at times. Almost guilty until proven innocent.

Now what I would really like to know is this...Is there something that I am doing that is getting me the wrong results or are the women in modern society just so picky that a lot of them refuse to settle for someone who doesn't make at least $100,000 a year on an online dating profile lol? Or maybe he doesn't have the right college degree etc? Or maybe he doesn't drive the right kind of car? I'm just frustrated. I feel like on paper I am what most women say that they want but in reality they are somehow missing all of my potential and choosing men who to me don't seem like a good match for them at all. Lower quality men in my eyes.

So....what's up with you crazy ladies?

Not trying to be critical but you sound like you're being fake. Do you ever meet women 'organically' - at work, socially (thru friends etc.)? If you spend your days moving on women at the store it's gonna be a low percentage game, and all the more so if you use these supposedly clever ruses to artificially start conversations.

June 1, 2016

Well I'm not crazy but here's what I personally think. Take it or leave it.

I am 28 years old. I own my own 3 bedroom 2 bath home which I just recently put a new roof on. My car is paid off. I put money in the bank monthly. I'm 6' and weigh around 175. Not in too bad of shape. Go to the gym about twice a week. I have a great sense of humor. I'm one of the cleanest and neatest guys I know in both my physical appearance and the way I keep my home/lawn. I don't smoke. Rarely drink. I've been told I'm a great looking guy all of my life as well.

Honestly? Who cares. I'm not trying to be rude here but what about that makes you think women should be swarming all over you? I've never met a guy yet who doesn't believe they are a 'great looking guy' regardless. It's almost a cliche and yet the world isn't over-run with Adonis'. You think because you own a car and a home that should make a difference? It will only make a difference to a woman looking to get herself a car and a home through a boyfriend. Many women these days also have their own cars and homes, it's not a drawcard. It's a personal achievement that you can rightly take pride in but isn't a ticket to dating heaven.

The fundamental problem a lot of males have when thinking about dating is they seem to think the material possessions they have are some kind of bargaining chip when it comes to relationships. And yet the world has moved on.

Now if I was a female I would read all of that and think to myself something like wow he's really got his stuff together. Or he isn't perfect but there is a lot of potential there. Maybe even we have a winner!! Haha. That just doesn't seem to be the case though. I do both online dating and try to meet women out in person but really don't have that much luck.

The reason why that isn't the case is because women don't think like you. :roll eyes: You are looking at this exclusively through the lens of what you personally think makes a great catch. Which incidentally (if your results are anything to go by) isn't what women think makes a great catch.

It seems to me like women enjoy getting messaged. They enjoy compliments. They'll even view my profile and stuff.

No....really? Think about it. People like getting messaged, they enjoy compliments because they are people. You can't tell me that the hottest studs on a dating site aren't sitting there enjoying the large array of msgs they receive and even check out the profiles of the people they are attracting for pure enjoyment? Of course they do. Some of the biggest attention seekers on instragram are men!

I guess it's just silly of me to expect them to put in any kind of effort after I reveal my interest and try to make something happen. You would think that on an online dating site that for them this would be the ideal situation. This is why we are here people!! lol. I don't know what the deal is honestly.

It is silly of you to expect people who clearly aren't interested in you to put in effort and make something happen, yes. You seem to be under the misapprehension that you are the ideal situation for every woman you contact. Clearly that is not the case.

Meeting Women In Person:
What I find here is that women just don't seem to be very responsive at all. They either seem unsure about what my intentions are or they are so preoccupied with something else that they just don't want to be approached at all. Some of them are downright rude actually. Occasionally I'll find someone who is a breath of fresh air and have a great interaction but this doesn't happen as often as I would like. It's like I've been judged before they even know me at times. Almost guilty until proven innocent.

Well, if you were out and about minding your own business and some random stranger interrupts you with their self-proclaimed witty banter you might be a little short on conversation too. The thing is, these women aren't inviting you to talk to them, you are interrupting them. They are pre-occupied because funnily enough, you are interrupting them. They were doing something else. Sure you don't find who want to chat to you as often as you'd like. That happens to everyone. It's called life.

are the women in modern society just so picky that a lot of them refuse to settle for someone.

Yes. Women now have a choice about their lives, they aren't needing relationships for the sake of it. If they are going to 'settle' it will be with someone they are truly interested in. You need to take into account that person may not be you.

Lower quality men in my eyes.

As I said before because you are using your own perceptions about what makes someone an attractive relationship option as the yardstick. Since you see a lot of other men as inferior to you this may be coming off in your interactions with women.

I'll be blunt here because it sounds like you can handle it and because it's often the truth, although few people will tell you so.

- Its highly likely you are nowhere near as physically attractive as you think you are. Many people make this mistake. They assume that because they are slightly better than the average that qualifies them as great catches. Well, no actually. Unless you are the kind of person that turns heads, attracts random strangers (who are attractive to you) by standing on street corners it's very likely you are an average Joe. Nothing wrong with being that, most of us are that. But it helps if you can understand that fact. Average good-looking is the plight of many people. It means they generally don't have huge problems finding someone attractive but they aren't universally attractive. If you haven't got a model agent and women aren't approaching you at the supermarket, you can rest assured you're a regular guy. Which means you have a lot of competition.

- Many women are happy single, or waiting an eternity for the right guy to come along. It's by no means logical to assume that every woman is looking for a man. Many women you approach will be partnered, happily single or dating someone of interest. The pool of women actively seeking relationships and being available for them isn't as large as it used to be.

- Many women don't care less about your 3 bed home and the fact you own your own car. They care more about what kind of person you are and how you will treat them in a relationship. Since I haven't witnessed your interactions with women I can't really comment on what might be turning them off. But a few things you've said in this post alone raise question marks to me.

The biggest one being your attitude that there is something wrong with women because you can't get a date.

Edited June 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

June 1, 2016

What Buddhist said = brilliant. I can't possibly add anything to the great stuff she just said. Hers might be the best, most direct, most insightful advice about dating you will ever get.

June 1, 2016

I'm wondering if the assets you list here are also on your online dating profile. Because they don't say anything about you and frankly, they make you sound kinda dull. Unlike what you believe, I don't read them and think 'what a catch!". I don't care about looks (although being average fitness is a good thing) and "good sense of humour" is subjective. Being neat is just a no brainer. Not drinking much could match you with a girl who's the same or turn off a party girl. But it's not an asset per se.

Tell us about YOU. What makes you tick. What makes you laugh and what makes you cry. How do you spend your spare time?

I can't comment on online dating because I'm old and have been in a relationship since forever. But I can say that being hit on when out shopping has never appealed to me. In a recent thread, we talked about limiting cold approaches those women who signal interest. If you see a girl you're interested in and the two of you make eye contact and smile, then go chat with her. But if she doesn't signal interest, leave the poor thing alone to do her shopping.

A previous poster mentioned meeting people organically. I can't underscore this enough. Meet people who are friends of friends: At parties, sporting and interest groups. The exception to not wanting to be chatted up when I'm out would be in a pub where my group and another group start mingling. Or perhaps I start chatting with a guy while killing time in the queue for the bar. And even then, don't ask her out unless she appears interested in continuing conversation with you.

June 1, 2016

Enigma32:

Thanks for the advice. I'm slowly finding that I might not want to continue with online dating. Just seems like a waste of not only time but hard earned money as well. At least meeting women in public is free lol. I'm usually pretty good with indicators of interest but often times they come from women that I don't want them from. Having a wing man or girl is an interesting idea though. Might give it a try.

Poppyolive:

I don't think anything is wrong with my attitude. I'm usually pretty upbeat and like I said I try to make them laugh. I approach with a smile on my face. That's why I started online dating. I just felt like maybe a lot of them were already taken or unavailable. Wanted to be around more singles that I knew wanted the same thing. Well that didn't work lol.

Jen1447:

I tried dating a women at work once. Never again. Better to separate work and love haha. Makes things weird if it doesn't end well. Clever ruses?Artificially start conversations? I suppose I'll have to save her cat from getting run over by a car before it's a real life acceptable conversation lol? I'm taking it that you don't ask a lot of men out on dates. Why would you? It's the guys job to ask right? That's all I'm doing. I'm being a man. If we didn't ask you out you couldn't accept our invitation. All I'm trying to do is break the ice. If she can't understand and appreciate that then I don't know what else to say. Artificially created conversation or not. Both sexes have their problems. I'm not saying it's enjoyable to be asked out 20 times a day if your a woman and your busy. I'd also like you to imagine though how a man would feel if he got rejected multiple times but it's still his job to make the first move? Let's all just try to be understanding of the opposite side of the issue here ok? I've had women ask me for help when they didn't need it to talk to me in the past. Isn't that being....fake?

Buddhist:

I was raised in a single parent home. Just my mother and my sister lived with me growing up. Most of what "I think a woman wants" was taught to me by a single mother who wanted a dependable partner around who was mature enough to date a woman with two kids. I mean after all she didn't want a third adult male child around did she? He had to have a job, his own vehicle, and certain things were to be expected of him if he was going to be dating her. I guess I just assumed that having certain things like a home, car, and so on would make that clear in a woman's mind. I don't need taken care of and I'm mature enough to be in a real relationship. It's not about what I own. It's about what I own says about me as a person. I work hard, I'm dependable, I'm mature, and not a bum who can't support himself or his future family with her. That's the big secret.

I think it's wonderful that the women of 2016 have their own cars and their own homes. I admire that actually. It tells me the same things about them. They are mature, they can support themselves, and so on. This is actually my ideal partner really. It's not that I want the house or car that they have. I want the woman who worked her butt off to get those things and would probably work her butt off in a relationship as well. Get it? I'm not going to date a woman who lives at home, is unemployed, cant drive, and cant manage her finances. I would expect a female to not want to date someone like that either. I guess that's irrational though..

As far as the attraction thing goes I'm not too worried. I get a lot of attention. Just like a lot of women though I don't want the attention from the individuals I'm getting it from. Call me picky I guess. When I said crazy ladies I was joking by the way. That's why I put the wink face. I guess you missed the joke there. I was being playful.

Edited June 1, 2016 by wesmel06

June 1, 2016

How long have you been single OP

June 1, 2016

Wesmel, out of curiousity, what is your success rate of going up to a woman cold, cracking a joke and having her accept a date? Based on my own feelings about this, I would have thought success was practically zero - but as you keep doing it, perhaps other women don't find it as annoying as me?

June 1, 2016

I was raised in a single parent home. Just my mother and my sister lived with me growing up. Most of what "I think a woman wants" was taught to me by a single mother who wanted a dependable partner around who was mature enough to date a woman with two kids.

Well, at least you are aware enough to know it's subconscious imprinting from your parent. That will be just fine with any woman is who your mother. But most women aren't and everyone else also comes with their subconscious imprinting from their parents. You might think those things = dependable/reliable etc and they probably do. But not every woman you meet is going to read that in the same way. Nor will she have those exact same things as her priority. I was raised by a single parent who valued strength and independence in men. I however tend to go for artistic types despite the fact they are often not to be relied upon for anything really....

Let me tell you something, as a child who grew up around violence much of it perpetrated by men I will not date any man who is....1. Physically larger than me....2. Displays any kind of dominance traits, even if they are supposedly good manly type traits.

That's just me I know. But you see how assuming women are all after the same things can lead you astray? You will be one woman's idea of fantastic and another woman's idea of overbearing.

I know your idea's are coming from a place of wanting to be responsible and a good father/husband. But you've just got to wait until the woman who truly wants all of that comes along. It isn't universal for all women, no matter how much advertising tries to tell us it is. There are many women, like myself, who through experience have come to be distrustful of men. That isn't fair, but it happens and of course those women are not going to be receptive to being approached by strangers in the street or whatever.

June 1, 2016

Enigma32:
I was raised in a single parent home. Just my mother and my sister lived with me growing up. Most of what "I think a woman wants" was taught to me by a single mother who wanted a dependable partner around who was mature enough to date a woman with two kids. I mean after all she didn't want a third adult male child around did she? He had to have a job, his own vehicle, and certain things were to be expected of him if he was going to be dating her. I guess I just assumed that having certain things like a home, car, and so on would make that clear in a woman's mind. I don't need taken care of and I'm mature enough to be in a real relationship. It's not about what I own. It's about what I own says about me as a person. I work hard, I'm dependable, I'm mature, and not a bum who can't support himself or his future family with her. That's the big secret.

I think it's wonderful that the women of 2016 have their own cars and their own homes. I admire that actually. It tells me the same things about them. They are mature, they can support themselves, and so on. This is actually my ideal partner really. It's not that I want the house or car that they have. I want the woman who worked her butt off to get those things and would probably work her butt off in a relationship as well. Get it? I'm not going to date a woman who lives at home, is unemployed, cant drive, and cant manage her finances. I would expect a female to not want to date someone like that either. I guess that's irrational though..

As far as the attraction thing goes I'm not too worried. I get a lot of attention. Just like a lot of women though I don't want the attention from the individuals I'm getting it from. Call me picky I guess. When I said crazy ladies I was joking by the way. That's why I put the wink face. I guess you missed the joke there. I was being playful.

Do you think it's the area you live/work in? I assume that's where most of your interactions are with women - outside OLD?

June 1, 2016

I think that you are doing something , but is it approaching ?

make your intentions crystal clear to the woman that you're interested in , ask women in clubs instead of malls , at the mall they're doing some shopping so at this point a purse on sales is way more attractive to her than you .

at clubs , they WANT to be approached so do it in there , I am not a big fan of online dating to be honest , I think its convienent and lazy , asking someone out should be an experience , you must deal with that akwardness and get rejected which is something that you have and I commend you on it , the vast majorty of men are affraid of rejection .

you need to be less result-driven , you have approached her which is a victory in and of itself , move on to someone else , and remember , if rejection doesn't bother you anymore then you can play the simple numbers game , ask 10 girls everyday , thats 300 a month , there must be atleast someone who is interested .

Some of them are downright rude actually

so what ? they are perfect strangers , their rudeness can't hurt you unless you're thin skinned .

stop trying to CONVINCE someone to date you or go out with you , just strike up a conversation and be yourself , pass the sh#$t tests she throws at you and you'll get her in bed

June 1, 2016

Well, at least you are aware enough to know it's subconscious imprinting from your parent. That will be just fine with any woman is who your mother. But most women aren't and everyone else also comes with their subconscious imprinting from their parents. You might think those things = dependable/reliable etc and they probably do. But not every woman you meet is going to read that in the same way. Nor will she have those exact same things as her priority. I was raised by a single parent who valued strength and independence in men. I however tend to go for artistic types despite the fact they are often not to be relied upon for anything really....

Let me tell you something, as a child who grew up around violence much of it perpetrated by men I will not date any man who is....1. Physically larger than me....2. Displays any kind of dominance traits, even if they are supposedly good manly type traits.

That's just me I know. But you see how assuming women are all after the same things can lead you astray? You will be one woman's idea of fantastic and another woman's idea of overbearing.

I know your idea's are coming from a place of wanting to be responsible and a good father/husband. But you've just got to wait until the woman who truly wants all of that comes along. It isn't universal for all women, no matter how much advertising tries to tell us it is. There are many women, like myself, who through experience have come to be distrustful of men. That isn't fair, but it happens and of course those women are not going to be receptive to being approached by strangers in the street or whatever.

what is universal about women is that they all want sex just as much as men , and they care about looks just as much as men , you think it is creepy to approach a perfect stranger as long as that perfect stranger looks average , but if he was , as girls put it " aw my gawd he s hawt " they will be drooling over him

June 1, 2016

What Buddhitst said =brilliant.

My first thought was, you should bitter and a little entitled. I'm not saying this to be unkind, I understand that you are very frustrated. But, women will not be very attracted if you present like this.

I am not a crazy woman, and I would be very attracted by the fact that you have your life together. But then, it's all about your personality and the way you make me feel when I'm with you. Money, cars, houses, etc... Mean nothing to a woman that has substance. Kindness, sense of humor, intelligence, etc... Are what it's all about. Work on this, and you will be golden.

Good luck in your search. It is hard and you do have to weed through a lot of people to find the gem!

June 1, 2016

What Buddhist said =brilliant.

My original thought was that you sound bitter and entitled. I am not saying this to be unkind, I understand that you are frustrated. But, women will not be attracted to anyone who presents this way.

Actually a lot of women love bitter and entitled guys

Seriously. A guy's personality isn't usually the issue, it tends to be about what he wants. Which kinda applies to most people in general.

June 1, 2016

I guess I just needed to vent a little bit. So sorry ahead of time lol.

I am 28 years old. I own my own 3 bedroom 2 bath home which I just recently put a new roof on. My car is paid off. I put money in the bank monthly. I'm 6' and weigh around 175. Not in too bad of shape. Go to the gym about twice a week. I have a great sense of humor. I'm one of the cleanest and neatest guys I know in both my physical appearance and the way I keep my home/lawn. I don't smoke. Rarely drink. I've been told I'm a great looking guy all of my life as well.

Now if I was a female I would read all of that and think to myself something like wow he's really got his stuff together. Or he isn't perfect but there is a lot of potential there. Maybe even we have a winner!! Haha. That just doesn't seem to be the case though. I do both online dating and try to meet women out in person but really don't have that much luck.

The level of how impressed women are by this stuff correlates to the type of women you are pursuing. In my circle, this is baseline. You have a job, own a house, go to the gym. Big deal. So do most people. It's expected. To a woman who lives with her parents and is unemployed this stuff might be impressive. To a woman who is also self supporting and has a decent job and lifestyle, you have merely met the minimum requirements she is looking for. This means your competition -- the other guys who are hitting on her and pursuing her who she might be interested in dating -- also have the same qualities.

Online Dating:
Now keep in mind I'm not shy and do send messages when I'm interested. I understand that it's the man's job to make the first move most of the time. No problem. The thing is my messages will be seen but get no response.

If you aren't getting a response, something about your profile is turning them off. The most obvious guess would be your looks, but it could be anything, such as location, sense of humor, whatever. If you ticked all her boxes, she would respond.

I'll even wait a little while and send a follow up message. Hell one female I sent like 5 messages to with each message being a week apart just as a science experiment to see if I would get blocked or a response eventually lol. She didn't block me and read all of my messages but still no response. She even viewed my profile twice. Some women enjoy my compliments to them or laugh when I make a joke but wont do anything to keep the conversation alive after a message or two.

Sending multiple messages isn't a great way to get a response. This woman actually looked at your profile twice and still didn't respond. This means something in your profile was a deal breaker for her. If she was interested in dating you, she would have responded.

It seems to me like women enjoy getting messaged. They enjoy compliments. They'll even view my profile and stuff. Just none of them do anything to help me make the interaction go anywhere. I guess it's just silly of me to expect them to put in any kind of effort after I reveal my interest and try to make something happen. You would think that on an online dating site that for them this would be the ideal situation. This is why we are here people!! lol. I don't know what the deal is honestly.

They aren't responding because they aren't interested in dating you, for whatever reason. Do you reach out to women who you aren't interested in dating? Do you try to get an interaction going with those women? It's the same thing.

Meeting Women In Person:
There are problems here too. I don't stand around and creep for an hour before I approach or anything. When I do approach I try to keep it light hearted and funny. I've got conversation starters for any situation really. In a clothing store for example I'll ask how a shirt would look on me or something like that. You know to get a "female perspective" lol. Or I'll pull a stunt like asking where a certain store is located in the mall even though I'm standing right in the middle of it. Then I'll tell her I just wanted to meet her and had to know if she had a good sense of humor. Pretty creative right? Not weird at all at least in my opinion. Could be wrong. Who knows.

The success of cold approach at a store is totally dependent on if the woman likes that kind of thing, is single, and is in the mood for it. I'm not saying don't try it, but it's typically not going to have a huge degree of success. But you might get lucky.

Honestly, if a guy came up to me in Macy's and asked me where Macy's is located, I probably wouldn't think that was funny. It just feels kind of lame and sad.

What I find here is that women just don't seem to be very responsive at all. They either seem unsure about what my intentions are or they are so preoccupied with something else that they just don't want to be approached at all. Some of them are downright rude actually. Occasionally I'll find someone who is a breath of fresh air and have a great interaction but this doesn't happen as often as I would like. It's like I've been judged before they even know me at times. Almost guilty until proven innocent.

As someone else mentioned above, it's because you are interrupting them. Most women aren't going out shopping with the intention of meeting a man, so it can be an annoyance. If you want more success with a cold approach, try doing it at places where women are going to be social and to try to meet someone -- like bars, concerts, festivals, etc.

Now what I would really like to know is this...Is there something that I am doing that is getting me the wrong results or are the women in modern society just so picky that a lot of them refuse to settle for someone who doesn't make at least $100,000 a year on an online dating profile lol? Or maybe he doesn't have the right college degree etc? Or maybe he doesn't drive the right kind of car? I'm just frustrated. I feel like on paper I am what most women say that they want but in reality they are somehow missing all of my potential and choosing men who to me don't seem like a good match for them at all. Lower quality men in my eyes.

You are likely aiming out of your league.

June 1, 2016

I too am in complete agreement with Buddhist. It's hard to follow that in depth response except to say that perhaps you need to take some responsibility for the kind of women you're chasing.

It seems you have a type and obviously that type doesn't seem all that interested in you or your 'paper'.

I agree with whoever said that part of the problem may be that you think you're far better looking than you really are. I'm not a subscriber of leagues per se but I suspect you might be reaching a bit. That can sometimes work of course but not if you're carrying around a sense of entitlement. Most women can smell that a mile a way and it's a huge turn off.

June 1, 2016

I am 28 years old. I own my own 3 bedroom 2 bath home which I just recently put a new roof on. My car is paid off. I put money in the bank monthly. I'm 6' and weigh around 175. Not in too bad of shape. Go to the gym about twice a week. I have a great sense of humor. I'm one of the cleanest and neatest guys I know in both my physical appearance and the way I keep my home/lawn. I don't smoke. Rarely drink. I've been told I'm a great looking guy all of my life as well.

The only non-material/physical thing you listed here was the sense of humour, which was listed way after your new roof. It seems as if you care about image too much, and women might not see all the organic substance of your character as a consequence. Believe it or not, women will more often than not be concerned about your inner character and how that makes them feel. We're led to believe women like the trinkets we can dangle, and to some extent there's some truth to some of that sometimes. But with a character permeated with inner strength, confidence, and experience it would only be the most hardy of gold-diggers that wouldn't care.

June 1, 2016

The only non-material/physical thing you listed here was the sense of humour, which was listed way after your new roof. It seems as if you care about image too much, and women might not see all the organic substance of your character as a consequence. Believe it or not, women will more often than not be concerned about your inner character and how that makes them feel.

I agree with whoever said that part of the problem may be that you think you're far better looking than you really are.

The level of how impressed women are by this stuff correlates to the type of women you are pursuing. In my circle, this is baseline. You have a job, own a house, go to the gym. Big deal. So do most people. It's expected. To a woman who lives with her parents and is unemployed this stuff might be impressive. To a woman who is also self supporting and has a decent job and lifestyle, you have merely met the minimum requirements she is looking for.

All great points…

Going back....

Hey everybody. I'm not new to the dating world and usually do pretty well.

But yet we have this...

Frustrated With Females

I'm not sure if I am wasting my time or if she is genuinely interested in me.

You are likely aiming out of your league.

Chasing an older highly attractive woman in another thread...

I know the thing about this site is people are commenting from around the world so I have to take this into consideration. I’m just amazed that dudes like this still don’t have a clue.

I am 28 years old. I own my own 3 bedroom 2 bath home which I just recently put a new roof on. My car is paid off. I put money in the bank monthly.

I have yet to meet a woman who would think any of this is relevant or would care in the least. If you are a guy and you DO meet a woman that thinks this superficial crap is important to her run.

Women are more successful and independent than ever and if at your age

you still don’t get that this:

how that makes them feel.

Is more important I’m sure we will see more “Frustrated with Females” Threads from you.

June 1, 2016

I guess I just needed to vent a little bit. So sorry ahead of time lol.

I am 28 years old. I own my own 3 bedroom 2 bath home which I just recently put a new roof on. My car is paid off. I put money in the bank monthly. I'm 6' and weigh around 175. Not in too bad of shape. Go to the gym about twice a week. I have a great sense of humor. I'm one of the cleanest and neatest guys I know in both my physical appearance and the way I keep my home/lawn. I don't smoke. Rarely drink. I've been told I'm a great looking guy all of my life as well.

Now if I was a female I would read all of that and think to myself something like wow he's really got his stuff together. Or he isn't perfect but there is a lot of potential there. Maybe even we have a winner!! Haha. That just doesn't seem to be the case though. I do both online dating and try to meet women out in person but really don't have that much luck.

Online Dating:
Now keep in mind I'm not shy and do send messages when I'm interested. I understand that it's the man's job to make the first move most of the time. No problem. The thing is my messages will be seen but get no response. I'll even wait a little while and send a follow up message. Hell one female I sent like 5 messages to with each message being a week apart just as a science experiment to see if I would get blocked or a response eventually lol. She didn't block me and read all of my messages but still no response. She even viewed my profile twice. Some women enjoy my compliments to them or laugh when I make a joke but wont do anything to keep the conversation alive after a message or two.

It seems to me like women enjoy getting messaged. They enjoy compliments. They'll even view my profile and stuff. Just none of them do anything to help me make the interaction go anywhere. I guess it's just silly of me to expect them to put in any kind of effort after I reveal my interest and try to make something happen. You would think that on an online dating site that for them this would be the ideal situation. This is why we are here people!! lol. I don't know what the deal is honestly.

Meeting Women In Person:
There are problems here too. I don't stand around and creep for an hour before I approach or anything. When I do approach I try to keep it light hearted and funny. I've got conversation starters for any situation really. In a clothing store for example I'll ask how a shirt would look on me or something like that. You know to get a "female perspective" lol. Or I'll pull a stunt like asking where a certain store is located in the mall even though I'm standing right in the middle of it. Then I'll tell her I just wanted to meet her and had to know if she had a good sense of humor. Pretty creative right? Not weird at all at least in my opinion. Could be wrong. Who knows.

What I find here is that women just don't seem to be very responsive at all. They either seem unsure about what my intentions are or they are so preoccupied with something else that they just don't want to be approached at all. Some of them are downright rude actually. Occasionally I'll find someone who is a breath of fresh air and have a great interaction but this doesn't happen as often as I would like. It's like I've been judged before they even know me at times. Almost guilty until proven innocent.

Now what I would really like to know is this...Is there something that I am doing that is getting me the wrong results or are the women in modern society just so picky that a lot of them refuse to settle for someone who doesn't make at least $100,000 a year on an online dating profile lol? Or maybe he doesn't have the right college degree etc? Or maybe he doesn't drive the right kind of car? I'm just frustrated. I feel like on paper I am what most women say that they want but in reality they are somehow missing all of my potential and choosing men who to me don't seem like a good match for them at all. Lower quality men in my eyes.

So....what's up with you crazy ladies?

Don't feel bad about the online dating, you're doing nothing wrong. Women get tons of emails a day, and you're holding #1001 in the Deli line. lol

As far as in person, actually, you're doing nothing wrong. The examples you've given were actually pretty cool, light-hearted, and funny.

But thing is, there's this 'stranger danger' thing women have, they put their walls up immediately.

I was told by a female friend that the ONLY reason a man would approach her were based on looks alone...which is a true statement, but for some reason they may consider it to be an "he's only into me for my looks."

But, a lot of women that are out and about aren't opened to being approached. I did something like that with a woman at a coffee shop, waiting in line. She was just short with me, not maintaining eye contact at all, was just eager to get her coffee and leave.

The way our parents met, which is how you described it, isn't so much like that today. Women need to have a good reason to be approached.

Now don't get me wrong, you may get lucky and ACTUALLY find a receptive woman and hit pay dirt out in public.

But sadly, some of the female perspectives on this site are as follows:

"I don't like to be approached when out running errands, I'm not there to flirt, but just there to do my thing and leave."

I could even imagine them running home, logging into Match.com on a Sat. night just after they shot down that guy that approached them in person. LOL

Same goes for other public venues.

Then she goes home, cries to her friends why she can't find a decent guy. LOL Even though one was staring them right in the face. LOL

June 1, 2016

I tried dating a women at work once. Never again. Better to separate work and love haha. Makes things weird if it doesn't end well. Clever ruses?Artificially start conversations? I suppose I'll have to save her cat from getting run over by a car before it's a real life acceptable conversation lol?

I have to laugh at some of the people that criticize the OP, Wesmel. I actually see nothing much he did wrong. By stating what he stated, homeownership, decent career, etc. that is saying a lot, it tells a woman he's stable. He's not even really giving accolades do it, just stating a fact.

Although, there are unemployed losers dating well off women. But hey, the women love 'em. lol

And these "ruses" that Jennifer speaks of, why fault him for it? Seriously?

I see this OP is relatively new, and I can tell from what he's written, there's hardly anything to criticize him for actually.

But as with most message boards dwellers, they will argue for the sake of arguing *shrug*

"Oh, maybe your eyebrow twitched when you approached her, bad move dude!" lol

June 1, 2016

I dunno, everyone seems to be saying don't approach women in malls etc,

but I remember a thread here not too long ago and a lot of women were complaining about guys not approaching enough and how they wished that a certain guy in a supermarket had chatted them up, etc.

So I don't think it's a lost cause, or there is anything wrong with it really. I rarely do it myself, and usually I wait for a bit of a clue, but have met one or two like this.

I agree with others though, don't expect a woman to be overly impressed that you own a place and look ok - it's good you do, but so do most guys. Just don't lead with that on your online profile.

Edited June 1, 2016 by joseb

June 1, 2016

YOU seem to be proud of your sense of humour but your "joke" about "crazy ladies" I guess has not gone down too well with us "females" here.

The store "joke"/clever ruse is not great either.

I know self deprecating humour can be very funny but these women do not know you, so are going to take anything you say seriously at first and think you perhaps have an intellectual disability if you do not know you are actually in the store you are looking for. Of course that then makes her then look like the idiot when you reveal you were only joking. That isn't really a good start.

Maybe, you need to look at your sense of humour and choice of language when engaging with "females"...

Get a woman friend you trust, to look over the messages you are sending to these women, you are not going to get responses if you are inadvertently offending said women in the guise of "jokes". You want to come across as someone with "inner strength, confidence, and experience" as The_Dork_Lard says, not a clown.

BUT cold approaches are not easy for anyone, someone on here who was very experienced at getting dates from cold approaches, said that even at his peak efficiency, only 1 out of 20 women would give him their number and that is still not a guaranteed date.

As Buddhist said too, many women are distrustful of strange men, so a man approaching in a store or on the street is most likely going to get short shrift, no matter how attractive a proposition he may be.

clia is correct "If you want more success with a cold approach, try doing it at places where women are going to be social and to try to meet someone -- like bars, concerts, festivals, etc."

June 1, 2016

I see this OP is relatively new, and I can tell from what he's written, there's hardly anything to criticize him for actually.

LATP I get what you are saying but just like so many people who post here what they post is contradictory to what is really going on

He is not “new”

Him:

I'm not new to the dating world and usually do pretty well.

His words…

But as I said - yet we have this...

Frustrated With Females

I'm not sure if I am wasting my time or if she is genuinely interested in me.

If he “does pretty well” his words but yet does not exhibit any signs that he understands women in general that is the issue.

When someone decides to post here it is NEVER just about that original post there are much deeper things going on. I personally don’t get that people here for the most part “will argue for the sake of arguing”

Some will choose to delve more deeply into what is written and not just take any given post at face value.

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