I feel like breaking up with my BF who is constantly on his phone or watching TV!

[katiegrl]

Thanks for all your help.

 

He has always been one to be on his phone or watch TV all the time. When we started dating, he did less of those things because he had a partner and the phone/TV was a way of keeping himself entertained while alone or on days we could not see each other (due to opposite work shifts). He has family and friends, but rarely sees them. When I've gone with him to his family's or friend's houses, he's pretty quiet and prefers people-watching over conversations. Everyone was so shocked when we got together because they said he's so quiet and introverted.

 

However, I'm realizing his nomcommunicative ways and introversion will not change much with a girlfriend in the picture. When I have his attention, he talks A LOT about anything and everything (feelings, too). But if being noncommunicative and preferring passive activities is who he really is, i doubt he will change for anyone. I don't believe people really havw rhe capacity to change a lot about themselves, which is why we're supposed to accept each other as we are. If we don'f like how a person is naturally, we ahould get out.

 

I agree that many people can be inspired, motivated, and excited by love. Perhaps some people can change. But through my experience and the experience of other people closw to me, people do not change - they compromise or pur in work/effort. There are people who take their spouses/significant ofhers/parents for granted, but it doesn't mean they don't love them. How would you explain the people who complain that their spouses are couch potatoes or that their spouses never like to cook and clean for them?

 

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Like another poster mentioned, relationships can become stale or stagnant after you've been with someone for a while, but if the relationship is this way so early on, i don't have any hope of it getting better.

 

^^Yes I agree and I'm sorry.

 

Perhaps he is just chronically emotionally unavailable..... and will remain that way with every woman he is with.

 

Or maybe not.

 

My 39 year old brother, whom we (the family) thought was a huge *commitment-phobe*, emotionally unavailable, had long term relationships that went no where .... met a woman last July, fell in love and suddenly, miraculously became the most loving, engaged, motivated inspired man you'd ever seen.

 

She even has 9 year old daughter who he is very committed to also, takes her to her soccer games, etc.

 

They are getting married next weekend.

 

So people can and often do change.... then again some people have so many issues, they will never change.

 

No you did not do anything wrong and please don't ever think you did.

 

HE is the one with the issues...

 

And you deserve better....

 

Again I am so sorry and best of luck moving forward..

Edited June 3, 2016 by katiegrl