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Should I reach out to my ex boyfriend after finding out he is back with his ex

Gg1996

By Gg1996
in Second Chances

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Gg1996 New Member

Gg1996

Posted
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I met a guy at work. We don't work together but the companies where we work have business together.

 

We got together pretty quickly. The relationship lasted around 5 months.

 

He's older than I am and actually has a child with his ex which he was with for 9 years and were going to get married but for some reason she left him and he really won't say why. I know that it sounds like a bunch of baggage but they had been broken up for 1 year and he never mentioned her. At all. As far as I knew things were over. They would communicate almost on a daily basis but regarding their son. I saw his messages one time. She never caused us problems either. I did feel a bit jealous but what was I supposed to do.

 

Our relationship was serious but not to the point that we were going to move in or anything. It was nice and fun. We broke up around two months ago due to him not dedicating too much time for me. I know he has work and his child, but I felt he didn't really care. So I told him I needed a break. He didn't exactly beg but he tried to convince me a time or two to get back together. I just didn't listen and I was just mad at the time. His messages stopped. And Well I just found out through a mutual acquaintance that he is back with his ex and seems so happy. I don't understand because he didn't seem to care too much about her and now he's back with her?? Another friend that knows him told me that he was pretty devastated when I broke up with him and he wanted me back so at the time it made me feel good but like I said he stopped trying suddenly. So I'm confused.

 

I'm actually really heartbroken because I thought we would get back together but he ran to his ex immediately. Could it be that he's just trying to get over me?? A friend said maybe his ex is a rebound and I should contact him to ask him exactly what is going on ? I need some advice.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

And this is why you shouldn't break up with someone unless you are really ready to walk away.

 

I don't mean to be unkind, but what did you expect? You ended it. He was a free agent. Why would he try to fight for someone who apparently didn't want to be with him anymore?

 

As far as his ex, I wouldn't necessarily assume it's a rebound. They have a lot of history together. And of course you never discussed her with him - why would you have? If he harbored any residual feelings for her, I can't see why he would have brought that up to you.

 

Perhaps he turned to her because she's comfortable, convenient, etc etc. Or maybe they've decided to work through whatever issue broke them up in the first place and try to be a united family. The point is, it's not your concern anymore. You don't have any right to barge in

and ask him what's going on...in other words, mind your own business, girl.

 

You let him go for a reason. Remember that.

  • Like 1
CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted

Leave Him Alone.

  • Like 1
bathtub-row Established Member

bathtub-row

Posted
Posted

What would be the purpose in contacting him? He apparently never lost feelings for his ex, whether he spoke of her or not. He may just be happy to be back with her and his child. If he seems happy, then leave it alone. If he's just faking it, it'll soon become obvious. You broke up with him for a reason. Don't let your ego get in the way of good judgment.

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

No I think you were the rebound..............

  • Like 5
DevotedBaker54 Member

DevotedBaker54

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry you're in this situation. Dating is hard and it's even more complicated when children are involved. It stinks that he couldn't devote more time to you, but I think once kids are involved, the kids should be the parent's number one priority which makes dating hard. Maybe you can wait a while to see what happens? Maybe he will break up with his ex, or you will have time to move on and find a better person who can devote more time to you :)

Hope you are happy soon!

privategal Established Member

privategal

Posted
Posted
I met a guy at work. We don't work together but the companies where we work have business together.

 

We got together pretty quickly. The relationship lasted around 5 months.

 

He's older than I am and actually has a child with his ex which he was with for 9 years and were going to get married but for some reason she left him and he really won't say why. I know that it sounds like a bunch of baggage but they had been broken up for 1 year and he never mentioned her. At all. As far as I knew things were over. They would communicate almost on a daily basis but regarding their son. I saw his messages one time. She never caused us problems either. I did feel a bit jealous but what was I supposed to do.

 

Our relationship was serious but not to the point that we were going to move in or anything. It was nice and fun. We broke up around two months ago due to him not dedicating too much time for me. I know he has work and his child, but I felt he didn't really care. So I told him I needed a break. He didn't exactly beg but he tried to convince me a time or two to get back together. I just didn't listen and I was just mad at the time. His messages stopped. And Well I just found out through a mutual acquaintance that he is back with his ex and seems so happy. I don't understand because he didn't seem to care too much about her and now he's back with her?? Another friend that knows him told me that he was pretty devastated when I broke up with him and he wanted me back so at the time it made me feel good but like I said he stopped trying suddenly. So I'm confused.

 

I'm actually really heartbroken because I thought we would get back together but he ran to his ex immediately. Could it be that he's just trying to get over me?? A friend said maybe his ex is a rebound and I should contact him to ask him exactly what is going on ? I need some advice.

 

 

That is NOT fair.

He tried to work it out, you rejected offers. He got over it and is now happy and reconciled and NOW you want to pop back in and ask whats going on?

Whats going on is you missed your chance and now have no right to interfere in their relationship.

Maybe you were the rebound from his ex and when you broke his heart he was able to think of her in a new light and maybe was reminded of the ways he hurt her while healing from his own breakup with you.

Please dont reach out.

You werent happy, now stick with your decision, cause he has moved on.

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