ByMyself01 Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I'm starting to think that there is something seriously wrong with me. EVERY man I get is either a bum or they end up leaving me or losing interest. The guy I'm with now just wants me to cook for him. He does nothing for me (he used to in the beginning), now I feel like his personal chef. My last ex left me in cold-blood, told me he didn't love me but continued to ask me for things like I was his girl SMH. ANYBODY can make up things as to why I keep getting left and mistreated but there shouldn't be any. I know a lot of people with personal issues who still have and find someone to love them through it all. The ONLY thing (REAL LOVE) I find important in life is so hard to obtain. Then, my current boyfriend, I tried to leave him on atleast 5 occasions but he seems to keep holding on to me for his benefit because he benefits me none at all. I only see him twice a week which is not enough for me. I miss having someone everyday or on a consistent basis. Some weeks I go without seeing him and he seems to be perfectly fine with this which proves he doesn't really care about me. He knows I'm in a city where I have no family. I feel like it's the end for me. I can move on, but then that means to start all over again with fake dates and convo and the cycle repeats so I will rather stay single after this relationship blows over and I'm sure it will. He seems to lost interest already as I can see and is only holding on to me until he finds better.
Audacious Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 A- There is no such thing as "real love" , its a myth created by literature and amplified by movies B- Know your worth , if a man doesn't treat you right send him out on his a$$ . C - It is a part of life , you have to kiss many toads to finally find that one that would turn into a prince I feel like it's the end for me. I can move on, but then that means to start all over again with fake dates and convo and the cycle repeats so I will rather stay single after this relationship blows over and I'm sure it will. He seems to lost interest already as I can see and is only holding on to me until he finds better. Don't be all doom and gloom now , there is a book called "The Game " , read it and you'll see the amount of tactics people use to sleep with each other , that is us : Humans 1
Author ByMyself01 Posted May 31, 2016 Author Posted May 31, 2016 A- There is no such thing as "real love" , its a myth created by literature and amplified by movies B- Know your worth , if a man doesn't treat you right send him out on his a$$ . C - It is a part of life , you have to kiss many toads to finally find that one that would turn into a prince Don't be all doom and gloom now , there is a book called "The Game " , read it and you'll see the amount of tactics people use to sleep with each other , that is us : Humans The ex specifically mistreated me. The new BF doesn't but he changed, A LOT. He doesn't talk to me about much anymore even though we talk everyday and he is cheap and expects me to cook for him all the time while I sit around and get NOTHING but horrible sex
Audacious Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 The ex specifically mistreated me. The new BF doesn't but he changed, A LOT. He doesn't talk to me about much anymore even though we talk everyday and he is cheap and expects me to cook for him all the time while I sit around and get NOTHING but horrible sex horrible sex in and of itself is a very valid reason to leave him . you're treated poorly because partially of the guys you date but also , because of you , remember , you're only treated badly if you allowed it to happen . 1
Larryville Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I'm starting to think that there is something seriously wrong with me. EVERY man I get is either a bum or they end up leaving me or losing interest. I’m sorry for being blunt and this comment is not directed to just the OP, every person who reads this… before you start a thread like this look in the mirror and ask yourself what makes you a good catch? We don’t know what you look like, we don’t know your background, we don’t know your current social status, education whatever…. As Aud stated: you're treated poorly because partially of the guys you date but also , because of you , remember , you're only treated badly if you allowed it to happen . You pick these people, so the question is do you think so little of yourself that dating bums or idiots is all you think you deserve? Any person who gets on here and complains about a significant other treating them badly needs to ask themselves why? And if you don’t know why then seek professional help. 2
Author ByMyself01 Posted May 31, 2016 Author Posted May 31, 2016 I’m sorry for being blunt and this comment is not directed to just the OP, every person who reads this… before you start a thread like this look in the mirror and ask yourself what makes you a good catch? We don’t know what you look like, we don’t know your background, we don’t know your current social status, education whatever…. As Aud stated: You pick these people, so the question is do you think so little of yourself that dating bums or idiots is all you think you deserve? Any person who gets on here and complains about a significant other treating them badly needs to ask themselves why? And if you don’t know why then seek professional help. All the relationships start off good and then go downhill. I think I'm an attractive girl but I'm natural. No fake eyelashes, makeup and I fully dress. The girls who love fake things seem to get the guys and keep them so I am seriously considering fake eyelashes, make-up and mini-dresses. My sister does all those things along with a bad attitude but yet kept her man for 15 years and I cant even get one to last 5 years without me or them leaving first.
Larryville Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 All the relationships start off good and then go downhill. Start off “good” compared to what? Where do you meet these guys? What is their income level, education, looks, career, baby daddy issues or not, distance are/were they a conversationalist did they have the ability to communicate clearly with you on your level? Also were you more into them initially than they were into you? In all of these threads people discuss issues but they only focus on the “current” state of a relationship but we all have to eventually address our relationship role models. What we are is learned behavior, and in many cases we are not honest with ourselves who and what we are in particular why we choose the people we do in terms of our relationships. I think I'm an attractive girl but I'm natural. No fake eyelashes, makeup and I fully dress. The girls who love fake things seem to get the guys and keep them so I am seriously considering fake eyelashes, make-up and mini-dresses. Not about trying to recreate yourself, going to fake crap won’t change who you fundamentally are. My sister does all those things along with a bad attitude but yet kept her man for 15 years and I cant even get one to last 5 years without me or them leaving first. You are not your sister, and just because people stay together does not necessarily mean all is well. I know many people in screwed up marriages who stay together for the kids AND to maintain a lifestyle.
Author ByMyself01 Posted May 31, 2016 Author Posted May 31, 2016 Start off “good” compared to what? [/Quote] Meaning they start off giving me all the attention I need and doing things for me then they slowly stop and it turns into me putting in all the darn effort in the end. Where do you meet these guys? The ex I met on Facebook playing a mutual game and the other on a dating website. I rarely meet guys in person because I'm rude and don't speak to people and am extremely shy What is their income level, education, looks, career, baby daddy issues or not, distance are/were they a conversationalist did they have the ability to communicate clearly with you on your level? Also were you more into them initially than they were into you? They all work mediocre jobs, my current boyfriend makes $35,000 a year and has a bachelors degree. ALL of my exes communicated with me well in the beginning, I could talk to them about anything and then the conversations sort of stopped and they changed for the worse. They are always more into me int he beginning then once I fall in love it's like they back off SMH.
Larryville Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 then once I fall in love it's like they back off SMH. Ok that is a big red flag because (whether or not you believe in love or not) you don’t or can’t just “fall in love” with every random dude who pays you attention. There is a quote I saw this morning, updating my signature… If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you, either. I rarely meet guys in person because I'm rude and don't speak to people and am extremely shy And if this is your personality trait (particularly rudeness) why would someone stay with you. Me personally rudeness is a major deal breaker. If you are shy this will affect your relationship communication skills... meaning you won't or can't communicate effectively, and if you are unable you will bore whoever you are with eventually. 1
blackcat777 Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I strongly suggest reading Getting to I Do by Dr. Pat Allen. It discusses healthy boundaries for women, which lead to a total reset of your partner-picking skills.
Buddhist Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 ANYBODY can make up things as to why I keep getting left and mistreated but there shouldn't be any. I know a lot of people with personal issues who still have and find someone to love them through it all. Everyone has personal issues, but some people's personal issues still enable them to find something that they think is love, for a time. They probably don't have the desire for real love that you do and hence they settle for something far less than that and call it love. You only see their relationships from the outside. People tend to only speak about the aspects they like, not the ones they don't. So you're not getting a clear picture on what's going on in the lives of others. The other point is, some people are raised in functional families and hence they have less difficulty in relationships than others. One thing we can be certain of though is this. If we are consistently attracting people who don't treat us well, then that is a sure indicator of what our personal issues are. It does no good to say, well my BFFs personal issues aren't about relationships, so I'm being victimised. Maybe they aren't. Maybe she/he has issues with money, health, addictions, work or whatever. What has that got to do with you and your life? Nothing. The ONLY thing (REAL LOVE) I find important in life is so hard to obtain. Yes. Life is like that. We are driven to heal whatever it is that hurts us most. We tend to make missions out of our wounds. It's a big heads up that you just haven't found the answer yet. it seems to me you've been trying to find the answer in finding the 'right person', but maybe that isn't the way to go since it hasn't worked out for you. Maybe the answer lies somewhere else.
basil67 Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 All the relationships start off good and then go downhill. I think I'm an attractive girl but I'm natural. No fake eyelashes, makeup and I fully dress. The girls who love fake things seem to get the guys and keep them so I am seriously considering fake eyelashes, make-up and mini-dresses. My sister does all those things along with a bad attitude but yet kept her man for 15 years and I cant even get one to last 5 years without me or them leaving first. The question about what you have to offer is far deeper than aesthetics. What does your personality have to offer? And what's up with you being rude? Why would you be like this? 1
Blanco Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 After skimming through some of your other threads, I think it would be in your best interest to examine your own conduct and how it affects your romance life. I'm not excusing the guys here, but if your threads are any indication, you aren't free from blame here. Best of luck.
sagetalk Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 He seems to lost interest already as I can see and is only holding on to me until he finds better. You seem to have low self esteem, this needs to be fixed before you can find a real man. If you think he is over you, and just using you, then break up with him. That is your first step to increasing your worth.
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