loyallove Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I started texting a guy I met online about 4 months ago, we clicked immediately but we live about 4 hours apart, for the first couple of months we texted every night almost without fail. We finally met up and while the sparks didn't fly immediately I liked him. We continued to text almost every night and the flirting got heavier, nothing r-rated but definitely flirting. We met up again shortly after that and he seemed distant, he's pretty shy and he was the same way the first time we met but he almost came off as being stand-offish, again, it could be that he was nervous. We had a pretty good time (at least I thought we did) but almost immedialty after we met his texts changed, they were still friendly but they weren't flirty anymore, he said he's tired but I can't see how being tired could change the way you text? This went on for a few weeks and he'd just constantly text one or two word replies, id get annoyed and tell him goodnight, I think my irritation may have come through in my texts, I was becoming short with him. I texted him a couple weeks ago and we had a nice conversation but I had to go to bed early so we said goodnight, over a week passed before I heard from him again, he always initiated the texts, I initiated the last one. Again, he was giving short answers so I just ignored him for about 40mins until he finally told me goodnight. I feel like I did something to push him away, is it right to blame myself? It's been several days now since the last convo. Should I text him and ask what happened? Would that make me look desperate? Could his shyness be a factor? Maybe we were moving too fast and it freaked him out? Like I said, he's never been rude, he's just not what he used to be (in text anyway). He also hasn't brought up meeting again. So, what do I do? Do I try to text him again, apologize for being rude those times, ask why he changed? Or just move on (I really don't want to do that)?
Dis Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I started texting a guy I met online about 4 months ago, we clicked immediately but we live about 4 hours apart, for the first couple of months we texted every night almost without fail. We finally met up and while the sparks didn't fly immediately I liked him. We continued to text almost every night and the flirting got heavier, nothing r-rated but definitely flirting. We met up again shortly after that and he seemed distant, he's pretty shy and he was the same way the first time we met but he almost came off as being stand-offish, again, it could be that he was nervous. We had a pretty good time (at least I thought we did) but almost immedialty after we met his texts changed, they were still friendly but they weren't flirty anymore, he said he's tired but I can't see how being tired could change the way you text? This went on for a few weeks and he'd just constantly text one or two word replies, id get annoyed and tell him goodnight, I think my irritation may have come through in my texts, I was becoming short with him. I texted him a couple weeks ago and we had a nice conversation but I had to go to bed early so we said goodnight, over a week passed before I heard from him again, he always initiated the texts, I initiated the last one. Again, he was giving short answers so I just ignored him for about 40mins until he finally told me goodnight. I feel like I did something to push him away, is it right to blame myself? It's been several days now since the last convo. Should I text him and ask what happened? Would that make me look desperate? Could his shyness be a factor? Maybe we were moving too fast and it freaked him out? Like I said, he's never been rude, he's just not what he used to be (in text anyway). He also hasn't brought up meeting again. So, what do I do? Do I try to text him again, apologize for being rude those times, ask why he changed? Or just move on (I really don't want to do that)? You dont do anything hun...theres nothing here Things are already starting to fall apart and you've only had two dates Theres nothing to repair/fix/save...move on 1
HansonGirl Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I started texting a guy I met online about 4 months ago, we clicked immediately but we live about 4 hours apart, for the first couple of months we texted every night almost without fail. We finally met up and while the sparks didn't fly immediately I liked him. We continued to text almost every night and the flirting got heavier, nothing r-rated but definitely flirting. We met up again shortly after that and he seemed distant, he's pretty shy and he was the same way the first time we met but he almost came off as being stand-offish, again, it could be that he was nervous. We had a pretty good time (at least I thought we did) but almost immedialty after we met his texts changed, they were still friendly but they weren't flirty anymore, he said he's tired but I can't see how being tired could change the way you text? This went on for a few weeks and he'd just constantly text one or two word replies, id get annoyed and tell him goodnight, I think my irritation may have come through in my texts, I was becoming short with him. I texted him a couple weeks ago and we had a nice conversation but I had to go to bed early so we said goodnight, over a week passed before I heard from him again, he always initiated the texts, I initiated the last one. Again, he was giving short answers so I just ignored him for about 40mins until he finally told me goodnight. I feel like I did something to push him away, is it right to blame myself? It's been several days now since the last convo. Should I text him and ask what happened? Would that make me look desperate? Could his shyness be a factor? Maybe we were moving too fast and it freaked him out? Like I said, he's never been rude, he's just not what he used to be (in text anyway). He also hasn't brought up meeting again. So, what do I do? Do I try to text him again, apologize for being rude those times, ask why he changed? Or just move on (I really don't want to do that)? I think you should try to move on. In my experience, if you've really said something that requires an apology the apology won't save any loss of attraction that occurred, and asking won't help anything. I doubt he'd offer you a satisfactory explanation (if he offered one at all). Best bet is to move on.
bluefeather Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 This may blow your mind, but cell phones can also be used to exchange voice conversations in real time. Crazy, I know, but try it if you don't believe me.
Buddhist Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 Move on. This isn't a relationship, it's texting and that leads nowhere 99% of the time. The fact you both live 4hrs apart doesn't give much hope of this ever being anything else. You've got an e-pal there, not a potential BF. 1
Zippy2000 Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 Sorry to hear about your scenario but its possible the guy you met has come to the realisation that 4 hours apart is too much for him and doesnt know how to tell you. He`s being polite by not ignoring you. The same thing happened to me. I met a girl but she lived in a different part of the country. She was 8 hours away. We used to text and communicate with each other from the start and this lasted for 6 months. Then one day she stopped communicating with me and she then removed me from Facebook and from her life. I was hurt but it was her way of telling me how things wouldnt work. Some people dnt know how to say no, or how to reject someone. This is why people fade or ghost. I d say look at the bigger picture. With this man. Do you see yourself travelling 4 hours each way to see each other? Sooner or later someone will have to move to be closer to the other. Its a big commitment and a big move. So I say he`s slowing down his communication because its the distance thats hindering your relationship o move forward.
Recommended Posts