iphone_user1 Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 You mean, when you enter the name NOTHING comes up? Yes, that's weird, unless perhaps you are spelling it incorrectly. Try first OR last name (whichever is less common) with some key words pertaining to things you know about him and see if you can dredge up anything. Say he's a triathlon-running chef from Portland with name John Smellyfeet, you type combinations such as: smellyfeet chef Portland smellyfeet triathlon smellyfeet triathlon Portland smellyfeet run Etc. Like you said: go "full FBI"--I think it's kinda fun LOL yes, it's fun. Actually I check my name on google every now and then to keep it on the down low. You'll find out nothing personal about me. 1
Zapbasket Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I got a bit frustrated earlier to day with a poster on here who said it was "quite silly" of me not to date someone because I couldn't find anything about him on Google. And I realized why I was frustrated, and want to share on this thread because I think it's an important point: Sometimes the logic for why we don't go through with something regarding another person doesn't make sense, even to us. But as my own and others' experiences illustrate time and again, if something about especially a stranger or relative stranger makes you uncomfortable, even if you can't place WHY there nevertheless is a REASON and it behooves you to listen to it. Most of us try to talk ourselves out of feelings that make no sense and that might upset the status quo if paid attention to. And one of the things we often say is, "Aw, I'm just being silly" or, "That's just silly." And it's not silly. If you're uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable. And if the object of your discomfort calls you "silly" for feeling the way you do, that should be cause for even MORE discomfort. I'm new to online dating but I strongly suspect that if you have inexplicable feelings of "meh" or "weird" or "ugh" or whatever when you are viewing profiles or chatting with matches, your best bet is to listen to the feelings and bow out of the interaction. It's funny how in that way we're smarter than ourselves. Sometimes primal fears need to be addressed and overcome...but rarely so in the case of strangers. I hate when parents try to make their toddler give someone a hug or kiss. If they don't want to, there's a reason. Because if they do want to, they will. They need to be free to learn to listen to their own gut directives on certain things, I believe. Then maybe there won't be so many of us as adults who try to talk themselves out of almost every feeling so as not to "inconvenience" anyone. Okay, rant over. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 I'm new to online dating but I strongly suspect that if you have inexplicable feelings of "meh" or "weird" or "ugh" or whatever when you are viewing profiles or chatting with matches, your best bet is to listen to the feelings and bow out of the interaction. Chances are if you're new to online dating, you're more than likely to follow through with meeting someone face-to-face, so your apprehension can be understandable. So it wasn't really the fact you couldn't find him on Google, it was the fact that you're new to online dating that's keeping you reluctant.
BlueIris Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 Chances are if you're new to online dating, you're more than likely to follow through with meeting someone face-to-face, so your apprehension can be understandable. So it wasn't really the fact you couldn't find him on Google, it was the fact that you're new to online dating that's keeping you reluctant. I'm with GreenCove on this. I've done OLD on and off and that's not really relevant. Trusting your gut, your intuition, is real wisdom in my opinion. It's also self-knowledge and respect for your own inner knowing. I've never known my gut instinct or intuition to be wrong, but ignoring or overriding it has been very wrong! lol
Zapbasket Posted June 1, 2016 Posted June 1, 2016 I'm with GreenCove on this. I've done OLD on and off and that's not really relevant. Trusting your gut, your intuition, is real wisdom in my opinion. It's also self-knowledge and respect for your own inner knowing. I've never known my gut instinct or intuition to be wrong, but ignoring or overriding it has been very wrong! lol lol, exactly. Regarding online dating, I'm more in the camp of I'd rather meet sooner than later, after reams of mindless text trivia bores the initial interest and curiosity right out of me. And frankly, if we live in the same town, there's no real reason not to meet sooner than later. As I've said, no way was I going to drive 200 miles for a blind date, and we mutually ruled that out. He offered to be a writing buddy, and the lack of any information about him online wasn't so much the problem as the vague sense of "I don't think so / I'm not sure" that drove me to online-snoop in the first place.
Tressugar Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 (edited) I did and found out I was talking to a liar and someone on the run for a federal crime. When I questioned him he went off on me for being a sneak. In my own case, I went through an abusive marriage that result in f*cked credit score, bad name, bad rep and the like. So now my potential dates, if Googled my name, would find a host of libelous and slanderous remarks about me. I never disclose my first name on my dates because I attract stalkers. Men have to prove their sanity before finding out my name. Law enforcement trained me on this tacted. I have hired an attorney to have this remove, but ex husband is protected under the first amendment. Last guy I dated and disclosed my first name, he Googled it and dropped me like a hot potato. He told me that he's willing to continue to date me only if I told him why ex would say these horrible things about me. I refused. One because I was in the healing process from my divorce and two, if anyone can believe that about me after I proved myself to you...is the wrong person for me. I simply told dude, no thank you. I'm good. Edited June 8, 2016 by Tressugar
mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 I do it all the time (should I know the person's last name). No shame in that game. Just don't tell others that you do it.
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 8, 2016 Posted June 8, 2016 I never disclose my first name on my dates because I attract stalkers. Wait a min., you mean they don't even know your FIRST name when you're even with them face-to-face? That's a bit extreme actually.
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